Bird Nest

Our recent trip to kuching was very short, hence i never ask my mum about bird nest she usually bought. The bird nest shop is just opposite our hotel, hubby's friends said they have surveyed and it's the cheapest among all other shop, so i just pop in and see. Unfortunately, my parents were in Taiwan that time, so i could not reach her, hence this is the first time i buy bird nest without any guide. Luckily hubby was there to comment and help out. 

Hubby's friend bought those pre-pack boxes, so i thought i shall buy those too. When i take a closer look, this's not what mum has. I was in dilemma, i call upon hubby, then hubby said your mum buy loose one not like that in a box. So the owner took the loose one for me to see, same like the box but more expensive. I ask WHY. She said the box one is processed bird nest. Then i tell her, the colour that my mum has is not like that, then she said what colour, i said not so white one. Then she took out a box of yellow bird nest and tell me this is customer's one, let you take a look - VIOLA! this is what mum has been cooking. Luckily i was observant last time when mum soaking the bird nest! 

So we bought 2 types (cave bird nest):

1. White - RM 320 per gram (cook 2-3 hrs)

2  Yellow - RM 478 per gram (cook 5-6 hrs)

Their bird nest is very clean, however after soaking still can see abit dust, but overall consider clean. The owner gave me her number and told me she send to KL too. I don't know if the price is really cheap. 

Direct Wealth Profile

My sister bought the whole set of JY books recently, hence i borrow a few from her that relates to my own chart. Despite completed all JY modules on bazi, i always found useful information from his books, articles or talks, this is a never ending knowledge and can be seen in so many perspective. 

According to JY bazi profiling, my main profile is Direct Wealth. I don't know how he came about this and the structures in his profiling software also different from what we learnt. Anyway, for classic structure I'm a direct wealth structure person, so I've picked this book. To my horror, 80% of it is very true:

1.DW Profile have no respect for people who shirk responsibility or are simply too lazy to do what they have to do - be it a work assignment or relationship. Well, I feel bad after reading this because i have treated these people badly when i feel they don't do what they have to do - hubby, sisters, parents and colleague. I have to train myself by not giving any feelings if i see people doing this, in any cases, do it myself when it's urgent.

2.DW Profile are actually very idealistic beings - Perfectionist. They place high importance on rules, principles and structures because they always believe that there's a better way to do things. Well, this one I've realized long time ago, hence now i only perfect myself instead of others. However, once in a blue moon I still pick on my husband! Poor boy.

3.DW Profile are Yins, and they don't necessarily always feel comfortable around people because it leads them to constant comparison and dissatisfaction. As such, they tend to spend a lot of time on their own. HOW TRUE! Anyway, after reading the book 'The Power" i have started to change how i feel when inevitably feel that I'm comparing or feel dissatisfied over a small thing/ or sometimes big thing in life. I always remind myself, i have all the good things in life, i just do not know why i have this trait of comparing and dissatisfaction. Now i know who is the culprit! Will use the power of LOVE to overcome this. 

4.Negative side, when it becomes unhealthy (negative) - Opinionated, Irritable, and Sarcastic. I often see myself doing this when feeling stressful. All these while i thought I'm sitting on Hurting Officer that's why i behave like that, now only i know DW also contributed these feelings. I always remind myself - never tap to Negative frequency. Feel Calm, Feel Love

5. Facts - which creates undue pressure on hubby who may not be as principled:

DW profile sacrifice are typically different from everyone else. Most people are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of their friends or relationship, but for DW profile person, it's not just a personal matter - it's a principle. And a principle adheres to a greater good, they don't just make big sacrifices for the sake of people involve, but to adhere to the tradition of meaningful ethics and values. However, it's precisely this trait that makes them responsible, committed, and reliable partners and friends. 

Kuching, Sarawak

We had a pleasant trip to Kuching last Tuesday, Hubby enjoy the most because he gets to chat and drink with his pal till midnight! We went there for Hubby's friend's wedding, the arrangement for us (pick up, tour, hotel etc) was very good, well ... at least up to my standard! haha ... So i'm a very happy mum, I'm very surprise how I've changed and my external changed too. I used to be very worried when go outstation or even a weekend stay at the hotel, I'm worried about my kids misbehave (not eating, sleeping, fussing) and I cannot convince myself that i can handle my kids outside, i told myself that i'll be exhausted hence I prefer to stay at home. This time around, I stay positive and hope for positive things to happen. It did! :)

Andrea enjoys alot too, when we  are heading home, she did not cry nor tell me I'm not happy, instead she told me "mummy, next time we come to kuching again OK?" It's really rare! My little angel is a high class girl, we took business class this time, she told me last night that she loves the airplane because it's very spacious and the chair can lie flat. How can a three year old tell me this! *slap forehead* My hubby and I did not say a thing about the airplane. A few air crew talk to her and play with her, i think she enjoy those moment too. My girl .. you need to earn your own money to enjoy luxury OK?

Benjamin on the other hand very well behave too, to and flo he slept thru the journey. I let him sleep on the bassinet, phew ... i enjoy so much, i can eat hands free and enjoy reading. Benjamin poo in the hotel too, and i manage to bathe the kids (which i did not attempt to do so last time) and benjamin had his pigeon meal, gobble up everything! GOOD! I like it ... hehe ... Sterilizing bottles and all with no problem too. I'm actually very productive with no stress!  Thank you boy

Arrival day: Groom's house (very modern and i enjoy appreciating his expensive furniture) - Lunch at Groom's house (nice sarawak fried mee and curry) - Hotel - bathe and sleep - Wedding dinner (food was OK, but i got no chance to finish the 9 course meal) - Put children to bed at 9pm - Sleep (hubby hang out with his pals)

Departure day: Breakfast at hotel - walk around hotel garden and playground - rest in the room - Buy bird nest - Meet up with groom - eat sarawak curry mee (fresh water prawn!) - walk along the river bank - buy souvenir (bracelet for andrea and T-shirt) - visit furniture shop - head back to hotel for ben's lunch (instant porridge) - bathe and pack - sarawak dried mee (kuan lou mein) delivery by hubby's friend to hotel room (VERY YUMMY!) - Off to Air Port

Wean Off Breastfeeding

Benjamin has stop suckle from my breast for 1 week now, the wean off is really smooth and he did not fuss. Andrea wean off at 8-9 months old, it was smooth as well because she doesn't know how to ask yet but to stop the breast from engorge is terrible. I took 1-2 months for the milk to stop completely. This time it was different because i was too lazy to wake up at night, i let ben suckle only at night for about 1-2 months, just a few weeks ago, i found out that my milk supply has drop dramatically, so i kick myself in the butt - to make milk at mid night. Currently ben's pattern is to have one mid night milk at 2-3am.

Ben is close to 1 year old now, I'm very lucky that he does not fuss about wanting to suckle, only in the car he will pull up my shirt, i said : "no more milk". He then suck my belly! I laugh and laugh until he stops, this happen about 5 times i think, then he stop sucking my belly :) I'm now free from pumping and wearing breast pad ... i can wear nice skirt now without thinking how to take out to feed ben in the car

AH Diary 1 (oct)

In SGI teaching, we shall obtain absolute happiness, this is the highest state for human being - by chanting daimoku (meditation) will help to achieve it. Here's the reference for the Ten Worlds, highest state - Buddha. http://www.sgi-uk.org/index.php/buddhism/tenworlds

For myself, after reading The Power, I constantly remind myself to be on the positive side does help too. I want to jot down the ups and downs to my journey of Absolute Happiness. 

It's hard to control one's mind when something unpleasant occupied my mind, the worst is I gave feelings to the unpleasant event, i told my mum. After complained (feelings of hatred amplifies), every single thing he does makes me angry, worst of all - my emotion is out of my control, i went insane again tonight. It has not been happening for at least 3 weeks, i had peaceful home for the past 3 weeks. I thought to myself, this is really amazing and i want it to be forever - eternal. 

I know i have done wrong by giving feelings to it (telling my mum), but if i don't ... i think i cannot tolerate it too. He has been coming home late due to big project at hand, at home feeling lazy because he has too much work occupy his head, every small little thing agitate him because he has no time to relax due to overloading problems at work and had no time to relax at home. I'm alone taking care of the kids, i long for his existence, but when he is back he is not helping, i still stay positive until i was down with flu and i feel life is not fair AGAIN. How to tackle this? Do i need to stay positive until i'm on the sick bed? I'm wondering if this person's frequency is totally out from mine? I cannot always kick him in the butt because it will make me go into the negative side. 

Good things Happen too:

1.Alot of money came in this month from dad, hubby and dividend. Maybe this month is my golden carriage month too. Sister bought JY books (those i really want to read) and lend it to me - no need to pay!

2.My children are all very well behave, very manageable. They are always laughing - because i started to laugh too 

3.Many smooth things - easy to find car park (sometimes right in front of the shop), selling my old stuff online is so easy (so far sold RM500 already), things i want to eat i always get, sometimes i visual play something and i will see or get it right away, my juicer from US arrived within 1 week with no tax! 

4.i feel nobleman is appearing - getting recommended Chinese sensei, massage men and agency with experience maid

Lesson one - Try to be calm, talk to the person with love, if can ignorance is bliss. NEVER amplify your feelings and best of all not to give any feelings to it. 

Start Reading

To make sure that andrea reads, i cover the picture on the left. hehe, she really does have a good memory and very powerful because she can memorize a few books - cover to end. I start her with Peter and Jane book 1a, long time ago but just now she told me that she wants to read to me. 

Overall was good because she can read 80% of it and those that she can't she will use her letterland phonics to read the 1st letter of the word, then she can roughly guess the word as she already memorized the book. I'm so grateful that i found a school that teaches letterland, it definitely help alot in her reading and recognizing and writing the alphabets. 

Besides, Andrea helps to take care of ben more now, she would give ben hug when he is crying and attempt to talk and play with ben when ben is fussing. However, as usual both still scream at each other occasionally. I'm teaching her to feel love as well, because sometimes she would act like a teacher or adult, telling ben not to do this or telling ben "i will put you on the thinking chair". I told her this is not love, you should talk to ben like you talk to your favorite bunny - i ask her if she is happy when talking to bunny, she said YES. I said do you feel happy when you talk like that to ben? She said no, because i'm not happy with ben. I said LOVE, love your brother like your bunny! hahaha.. i hope she gets what i mean. 


3year 3months 3weeks 4days old

Hair Cut

I had my hair cut today after 9 months of not trimming it, it feels so refresh and tidy again! I feel really wonderful everyday, ever since i've shared my experience with my sister, share with her how to regain her positive feelings, by sharing it does lift up my spirit. Now i understand why Daisaku Ikeda said Dialogue is important, it will not only help others but most importantly help yourself. Thanks to my sister who gave me a chance of sharing

I had done re-bonding 9 months back, back then my hair was just below my ears, now it has grown 3 inches pass my shoulder. I wonder does hair grow this fast in 9 months? Anyway, my hair stylist as usual suggest me to perm, i said NO to him this time, so he just trim the bottom and gave me a very short fringe. Well, overall i'm satisfied with it. Really need a hair style which is easy to maintain especially now i do not have time for grooming at home. 

Next i want to go for facial, maybe early November, October is just far too busy! Thanks to my mum, i'm really enjoying my 8 hours without ben, hehe ... Andrea has been more obedient now, my house is less messy, all unwanted stuff is still packing, I have time to sit in front of the computer peacefully. 

Strawberry Smoothies

I have tried making smoothies when my old maid was still here (beginning of the year), followed the recipe i have - some turn out to be good, some just not so nice. Last sunday, i did the smoothies on my own - follow my feelings :)

I have bought many strawberries from isetan last week, it was very cheap and very fresh! no rotten berries in it, well usually i found a few in a box. RM12.90 for one big box, only one day offer - no wonder it's so packed! 

Ingredient for 2 portion:

Strawberries - 2 handful

1 Banana

Fresh Milk

3 ice cubes

Turn out to be very yummy, maybe the strawberries are very sweet too. We made strawberries smoothies for consecutive 3 days! Andrea is happy, Mummy is happy! 

Walking Steadily

Benjamin has been walking steadily bare foot past few days at home, hence during the weekend i was determine to find him a pair of sandals and walking shoe. We bought clarks - sandals from Isetan and Shoe from Mid Valley (why can't they have a more complete range, sigh .. waste of time). Once benjamin put on his shoe, he seems that his feet is out of his control, hahaa ... will let him get used to wearing shoes from now on.

Ben has lost his concentration during meal time and shichida class. I was so so tired after following him in class, he likes to walk around, crawl under the table, play with abacus, play with mummy's bag (or auntie's bag) etc. During meal time, he started to climb out from his high chair, sit on the table, want to get down to play with blocks etc, i have to follow him too ... tried 'forcing' him to sit, in the end he can't eat anymore - crying too much. Hope that his CURIOUS stage will pass very soon and he can sit on his own car seat when I'm in the car. Whenever i'm in the car while daddy's driving, he will make a fuss until i carry him out from it. How clever!

Benjamin is now on promil gold by Wyeth, slowly finishing the frozen breast milk and latch on at night. I guess by next week the breast milk will be finishing and he will be on full formula by next week. Breastfeeding mission complete! Phew... this time i can breastfeed till 1 year, great accomplishment!

11 months 2 weeks

5th Year Wedding Anniversary

Today is my Wedding Anniversary :) Cannot believe i've been auntie for 5 years! I still feel very young inside though. hehe .... We had a weekend escapade at The Garden Hotel, hubby booked Executive Premier King, equivalent to shangrila horizon club - Bigger room, free drinks 24x7 and snacks, have cocktail etc. Our stay was very good, as in we have good night sleep and we love shopping at The Gardens and Mid Valley. However the hotel management and design after all does not fit to our taste, I think the reason being is they are not an international hotel hence has budget for their interior design although they are 5 star rating.

I do not have any gift from hubby, I may feel sad or unhappy but this time around I don't give any feelings. Hubby has his own thinking of giving or not giving, maybe he is waiting for me to give too, but too bad i have no money and no time as well. I have been cleaning and doing house chores since back from hotel, now only i have little time to write this blog and play some games to de-stress. I always have this in mind - always remind myself to be happy. I know what i want in life, if hubby cannot provide, I do not have to make any decision right away because i believe our frequency will direct us to the correct and happy results that we wanted. This person cannot provide, someone else will. This apply to all events in life.

The Regenerating Serum - La Mer

I feel extremely energized today! I went shopping and buy lots of things from Isetan, as today is their pre-sale for members ONLY, cannot be missed :p 

I need to stock up my Regenerating serum from La Mer. I asked the sales lady, maggie who always serve me - Why this serum cannot last for more than 4 months? It's so expensive and the content is so little, all other LaMer product can last for at least a year for me. She told me that this thing can only last for 2-3 months, i have used it for 4 months that's not bad already. oO  Anyway, i used it for 6 months, hahahaa, as i don't use it everyday. But this product is Superb, instantly you can see the difference. It made my day when i see that i have beautiful skin, whenever i'm preparing to go out. It's all worth it. 

Besides, i bought welch's grape juice - that's what i like too, small apple (palm size) very cute but dunno crunchy and sweet or not and some strawberries and of course my acca kappa massage oil. I think i gave the old oil to my old maid, i can't find it, turn the house up side down still cannot find it, so have to buy a new bottle. Still have RM100 voucher left, maybe i will bring ben there tomorrow to buy his clark shoes, i saw one... the design looks abit like Garvalin/ Biomechanics toddler shoe that i like. I wonder when this Garvalin shoes will arrive in Malaysia. 

Perfectionist

I always wanted things to be perfect, when it doesn't i will get upset or agitated or worst of all - worried! I have to remind myself - ALWAYS - that things can go wrong sometimes, this is the perfect time for me to slow things down or face the problem with new perspective. I need to get off the 'wild horse' that i'm riding quickly so that i can continue to stay in positive frequency, to receive positive event pour into my life.

I pray that hubby and andrea will recover soon for their illness, benjamin's mosquito bite to subside (extremely swollen again on the left eye).

I'm very happy just now because i found out this canvas printing shop at centre point while i was waiting for andrea to finish her Genioart class. Instead of having large photo develop and buying large photo frame, i can actually opt for canvas printing. It's very beautiful and cheaper too i guess, because i saw one cluster arrangement that cost RM900+ only, if it were to be done in photo and frame i guess it will be more than that price. At least i have something for my new house, cost effective yet modern looking! YES! I like it :)

Busy October

I was blessed because mum decided to help me to take care of benjamin during the day for the past three weeks. Having my own time to do house chores and reading is a bliss. I cannot think of anything that is more happy than this :)

October is a busy month - Andrea's Sports Day, Ben's Birthday, Parents going to Taiwan (ben will have fun clinging on to me 24x7 for 2 weeks), we are going to kuching for hubby's friend wedding, andrea's year end progress report and it's our 5th year wedding anniversary! How time flies .....

1. Order ben's cake before we take off to Kuching, Sarawak

2. Buy clothes and shoes for wedding for both kids

3. Do weekly massage, hopefully mr. khoo is available for me. His schedule is always packed!

I've ordered the Omega Juicer, by next week it will arrive. I'm so excited! Gonna dig some juice recipe online. Moreover, i need to find more recipe to cook for ben, he seems not very interested in his meal these few days. Maybe i shall drop by Kinokuniya again for recipe book :)

P for Picnic

Andrea's memory is getting better, today she surprised me by telling me that she needs to bring food to school for picnic. I totally forgotten about it despite the teacher has given me a small note last Thursday, asked the parents to bring food that starts with the letter P, as they are learning letter P now and will have a Picnic today. Phew.. i quickly spread the Peanut Butter bread and cut a small expensive plum as i do not have any "P" food at home anymore. Guess what she told me when she is back from school. "mummy, no one wants to eat my Peanut Butter bread". I asked her about the plum, she said she did not eat it and her friends do not like it. My God ... I'm so embarrassed! I eat the bread myself!

I'm abit worried now because andrea's memory seems to get better each day, all the scolding and screaming might have already implant in her heart. My little girl have now started to appreciate maths, she likes to listen to the CD i bought 1 year ago, the addition song from shichida. I know she is getting better because she can sing addition 1 & 2 on her own! Besides she also start reading the Peter and Jane book 1a & 1b herself. Reading words this time. One time she gave me a shock by reading the school story book, whole book - WHERE WILL YOU SLEEP TONIGHT? I thought she can really read words! hubby said :"no lah, she see the picture and memorize it" Then i test her, erm.. she really memorize it! hahaa, she haven't done that for a long long time, when old maid is still here, she can memorize all my phonics books and read it to me page by page, i don't know how she did it, but her memory is superb! I'm guilty because i do not have such leisure time for her anymore.

Andrea is a big helper to me now, she is so independent that she knows how to wash her own hands with soap, change herself and put the dirty clothes in the basket, clean up ben's mess while eating, go to sleep on her own, wear her own shoe, eat her meals on her own and play with her brother. I'm so Happy that andrea is there for me always, when i need her. I need to kick myself in the butt, I have to spend more time with andrea, I have to cut down all my unnecessary activity!

Taking 4 steps

Ben start taking a few steps on his own without falling few weeks ago. Today I'm very excited to see that he can take maximum of 4 steps - walking towards me, laughing and wanting to fall on me! At times he will walk by his own without me asking, say from the chair to andrea's dressing table or to his toys.

Besides, ben starting to appreciate all the songs i sang to him, he will sway his body or nodding his head or clap his hands. One thing i'm very proud of him is that he knows how to bow his head when we say konichiwa. This is also part of andrea's contribution because andrea always sing the good afternoon song with action and ben picked it up! It's so cute to see both of them bow at each other.

Ben is now eating 2 times solid, he ditched his breakfast cereal 2 months back and never like eating cereal anymore. He can now easily drink at least 18oz of milk as per book recommendation. Only one thing left that causes me pain - he needs to be carried 24x7, my back is hurting very badly. I really hope i can find someone that can massage for me and most importantly able to heal my back pain and shoulder muscle ache. Other areas, I have no worries anymore. I need to have plans to teach benjamin new things now :)

The New Chapter

I have been thru 2 turbulence year - 2009 and 2010, i had heaven and earth clashed for the month pillar 1st then the hour pillar. Thank god for the year is ending and i can't wait for the water month to arrive (November), so that it can relieve my poor nobleman being clashed by the year. I seriously need my nobleman back because i need to feel good luck all over again! I miss my nobleman so much! 

My Old blog is full of negative vibes, i need to shake it off because i want to have an amazing life. The purpose of living is to be happy and feel love all the time. We shall not add more 'woods' (negative feelings like anger, worries, hatred etc) to the pile of wood we already have in our lives, we have to see that pile of wood to burn off slowly by not adding more wood in order to achieve eternal happiness. [a quote from my reiki master] He added, we sabotage ourselves by adding more wood, so we have to stop making our own life more difficult! 

I always thought I have given enough love to my children especially andrea, after these harsh years - I finally understand what shichida meant about loving your child and why daisaku ikeda said women is most respectable. I watched a video clip by shichida, he said "you are the luckiest person when you have a mother with alot of wisdom". I wanted my kids to be the luckiest kid, hence i do think that i have a lot of wisdom and i love them alot. However, recently i found out that, if my kid does not obey me, i will punish them by scolding, hitting, screaming etc. I HAVE DONE WRONG - this does not show love, all mothers should be patient and give love all the time. I realized i did not love my kid whole heartedly, I still have a long journey to learn to give love and collecting wisdom thru meditation - chanting and reading. 

I'm very grateful that i've given a chance to watch and read about shichida's mother and daisaku ikeada's mother & wife write up. I know what an ideal mother shall behave and i will try my best to achieve it. 

Used baby Item

RM100 - BPA Free, single Pump.
Warranty Expired

nodding head

Benjamin starts to nod his head 1 week ago, he will nod his head when we:
1. ask if it's nice (food or things)
2. Sing him a song
3. Is happy when he sees we are doing something

He tries to clap his hands but could not, he told his two hands together and sway left and right when we asked him to clap

He is able to put coin-like things into a box, i have maid him a 'coin box' where i used my daily contact lens case as 'coins', ben is able to put that contact lens case into the 'coin box'.

Ben likes singing but so far did not show sign of wanting to read.

10 months 3 weeks  4 days old

andrea started drawing

I am amaze that andrea draw some flowers for me today, previously she drew circle-oval-scribble, it's hard for me to see what is it. Today i can see it's a flower, big circle in the middle and small circle (many) around it. I have just enroll her to genioart, and only have attended 1 lesson. I don't know if that helps her to draw properly, when she came back she drew a rabbit for me, have to guess abit but today flower is amazing! I'm so happy for her... Andrea took out the standstill i brought from ELC about 6  months ago, now she enjoy using it and colour one of her favorite picture - one mushroom with 3 colours! I'm glad that the mushroom has many colours, hahhaa, I'm so afraid her right brain has already shut  or close to shutting like the founder of genioart comment!

I don't know if it's the power of love, my girl behaved so well and wanted to give me kiss and hugs all the time. She is very well behaved too... like eating, bathing, helping me to keep her toys etc. She even talk non-stop and sing in teh car like she used to when she was 2+. I was so happy yesterday because i dream that i was laughing in my dreams and woke up feeling happy, 1st time i guess or it has not been happening for very long now. In the day, i text my old maid, to say thank you to her because she has given me the freedom despite i have andrea and i i must from her the motivation and kind heart that she has. We have been texting each other because i need to find comfort, i always tell her when i sent back my maid, right now i do not have to do this anymore, i find it i'm feeling self-pity whenever i text her and told her about my bad news. However i'm very grateful that she is there and she mean more than a friend than maid to me. I want to continue feeling good to receive magic in my life

3 years 3 months

Gratitude

I used to be impatient until year 2010 where i had a turning point in life.i learnt how to love and to live better by using the universe energy = LOVE force. I am grateful for everything happen that makes me realize the ultimate secret in life because i have been trying to put all the pieces together, trying to see the big picture but i can't until in the month of September 2010 - it's a magic, all broken pieces i kept in my pocket fixed themselves for me to see the real WORLD. I'm so happy and want to share it with all the people i love, but i don't know where to start because everyone's experience is different and i picked up the pieces from various religion - SGI, Buddhist, christian, bazi, reiki, shichida, books and science about universe. I cannot thank you enough Rhonda Bryane for her book - The Power, it does magic to my life. Thank You

Restriction

It's really sad that things you want to do but you can't. If i have not gone thru this hardship, i would want to force my way of getting what i want, which is very 庚 character, ever since my month pillar (2009) and hour pillar (2010) had fan yin, my character changed dramatically. I learnt to be  庚 only when i need to.

I know feeling is very important for me to have positive frequency, i allow myself to feel sad for a few hours, maybe 3? I really wish to go for the date selection module, but i can't. I can't be too selfish because mum is not free and hubby cannot handle 2 kids, plus we have a wedding to attend to :( I learnt not to give any feelings to things i do not like, and i start teaching andrea that too, i just hope all of us at home would feel peaceful all the time so that we could tap into the positive frequency because we really need good health and serenity

I learnt to let go of things i really like but i could not have it such as my job and now the date selection class. I'm not being fired by my company and i'm not being forced by my mum or hubby that i cannot attend this class, I know my priority and i give love for those people to live without worry and restriction, I love them with my bottom of my heart.

Andrea's Shortcoming

Give me wisdom, tell me what can i do with her shortcoming:

1. Hot Temper - too much fire hence always has fever, she is actually having fever right now. She screams alot and love to own all of her things, never let ben or even her classmates touch it. 

2. Lazy person, lacks drive and needs strong motivation - no yang metal in her chart. She is born to be lazy, MY GOD! No wonder she loves to watch TV all the time. How to cure this?

3. Lack of wisdom - no yin water. 

Give lots of love? I just scream at her because she doesn't want to sleep and keep talking to herself on the bed. I don't know how to control myself, i was very tired and feeling dizzy, after screaming i cannot sleep anymore. 

Love is the positive force of life

Many times i have heard of the word LOVE from shichida, glen doman, tweedle wink and some adult love books, to me love is that you give everything you can to the person you love. Easy peasy lemon squeesy, however i find it tough to maintain my LOVE when something not right hit me like year 2009 and 2010. How to show love when i kept being shot by the universe? UNTIL i found a book -> The Power by Rhonda Byrne. Well i would not say is an excellent book but it did lifted my spirit and tell me what i should do, the only part i did not like is that she ask me to make believe things, like if you do not have a job, daily pretend that you have a job - dress up, write email, talk to colleagues etc. I think i have not gone to that degree yet :s

What i learn about this look is:-

1. Love is giving, what you give you will get a return, it may not from the same person but the universe will return it to you. [this is the Chinese saying i learnt last time, karma. It appear in an english book. amazing]

2. Love is the greatest power in the universe to use to change yourself, subsequently the environment around you. You need to imagine and feel the love for the change, be it money, relationship or health. 

3. All you need to do is to tune your frequency to receive all these - LOVE. If you don't know how, show gratitude to everything surrounding you. say thank you to the song you like on radio, for a parking lot, everything. 

4. I need to have good feelings, all good feelings come from LOVE. Like the other blogger comment - i shall not write negative things. In this book, if we met with negative things, just turn away, no need to comment - just pretend you did not see it or hear it. Don't give them any feelings.

5. People who have great lives think and talk about what they love more than what they don't love

6. don't struggle to change the circumstances of your life. give love through your good feelings and what you want will appear. Like a glass of water which is not full, we add water = LOVE. [like SGI example of chanting daimoku = water to remove impurities/ dust in the glass] 

7. Every person is surrounded by a magnetic field. You attract everything through the magnetism of your field. Your feelings determine whether your field is positive or negative at any time.

8. To lighten up about bad feelings, imagine bad feelings as wild horses you climb on. If you climbed on them you can climb off them as fast as you jumped on to it.

9. When you see the things you want, you are on the same frequency as those things, hence be as excited as someone has something that you want. If you feel love for it, you are bringing the same thing to you. 

10. Imagine it. Feel it. Receive it.

after reading this, all in sync now - shichida, SGI, universe energy (qi gong & reiki) and Bazi. 

ben 10 months milestone

1. Open his mouth wide (really wide, stretched) and say "ahhh". All of us find it funny and dunno where he learn that from.
2. Good at signing now, when we ask him to do it, he will show us - bye bye and sleep. However don't want to sign milk. He will put his face on your face when you say "sayang"
3. likes to imitate his sister. When sister shout at him, he will shout back. when sister take blanket cover herself, he will follow. when sister pretend to fall, he will follow. when sister crawl away, he will follow too.
4. Just yesterday i saw him take 2 steps (walking!) while both hand holding a card. AMAZING!
5. Finish all the milk that i gave, occasionally left 1oz. I'm feeding 4-5oz per feed
6. Like a glue sticking to me, scream if cannot see me
7. Can throw a ping pong ball (he will laugh extremely loud)
8. Likes to look at you and give you a smile, like a romeo, hahaha. Always give me this look, don't know why
9. start opening ALL drawers, from room to kitchen to living room (we use masking tape to stick all the drawers, it's very ugly but luckily no one visit me)
10. Went to the doctor 2 days ago - weight = 7.4kg, height = 70cm, head = 44cm (all below average, aiyooo, nvmla, handsome can liao)

10 months 1 week 4 days old

Jing Tea

Someone read my old post and commented that i should not write an angry post, what will ben think if he sees it next time. To me, everyone has ups and downs, i just want to write whatever i'm feeling, if im too low i will not blog, if i'm sounded angry means i still care. Hence, i will keep my blog private somemore, until all my sad/angry/emotional blog is way way behind then only open again. sigh ....

Love Jing Tea! We went Westin for breakfast many many times, but last weekend was different. WHY? Because my kids woke up at 6am and we disturb hubby and he is awake at 6.30 too... so hubby suggested that we should go westin for breakie, hence we left home at 7.30am. Surprisingly there is no crowd, usually it's packed with people, i don't know where have those people gone, i told myself we were early maybe, we left at 9am, but still not many people.

We enjoyed the stay very much, maybe it's less crowded and ben start eating what we are eating like bread and yogurt. Me and hubby let ben munch whatever we are eating. After i've finished, i bring ben walk around while hubby helping andrea to finish up her food, i came to notice a tray of tea leaves call Jing Tea, hence i took 2 packet home (SHhhh ....). I can't drink it there anyway, cos their normal tea is very very nice too, i had 5 cups i think... burp!

Today, i take one of the packet and try at home, ben is away at my parents place, so i can relax abit ... after 3 full months, this is bliss! This JIng Tea add to my relaxation at home... after 5 cups, the tea still have taste! Too bad cannot share with hubby, cos he cannot drink tea now due to foot pain. I will just enjoy myself ... yummy ... Will take somemore next time :p

Daily Massage

Andrea and Ben enjoying 捏脊. At first they feel pain i think, after they got used to it, they would lie down and let me finish it, for ben - he let me do at least 5 times. first i will just 捏 for 2-3 times then will proceed with 3 捏 1 提.

It depends on their condition, if cough then i will massage the 肺穴, back and front. Like ben, i will massage the heart, cos he might be scared - i scream too much at andrea and sometimes i will scold ben too. I massage the tummy for andrea too, as she always says she has stomachache and also her foot chakra. She complain the foot chakra is painful, i wonder WHY. However i still press it until she really do not want it, just hope the pain there will go away. Andrea has alot of internal problem i think :(

Maid will be here tomorrow

Maid is gonna be here tomorrow, I feel that i have not done enough preparation. Things that i need to prep her, sigh .... All i have is schedule for the house chores, i have briefly wrote down what i should tell her & make  a recording so that i can goreng her sotong if she cannot perform next time. That's all i have. There are many things i want to tell her and warn her, but i guess it's too much for now, I will tell her what i have and observe, will add in if necessary in the future. I'm really afraid that this is another trouble maker! I cannot sleep .... supposedly to take afternoon nap with the kids, why i'm so nervous! Siao .... Relax

This is the 1st time i handle new maid alone! Previously i dump to my mum .... How independent I am now :)

Update:
I'm not sure if she is lucky or I'm lucky. The maid has Conjunctivitis with pus. We picked her up and sent to my mum house, i just hope it will not spread it to andrea or ben. It's good that she can stay away with the kids for a few days, I'm still afraid of the chicken pox that the training house has. About the maid's eye, i think her cleanliness is not very good, how on earth she gets that, sigh .... Mum told me just now she smells bad after sweat, aiyoh... Need to ask her to loose some weight, but how to tell her? Gosh ... 

Teacher's Concern

Hubby told me that teacher in summer academy asked him about andrea at home. Teacher Natalie (english) and Teacher Mazlin (malay) both comment that andrea pretend like a baby at school for almost 2 weeks, they are wondering if andrea is doing the same at home. My oh My .... what i have done to my girl? Why is she hard to control and is such a rebellious girl, i thought reasoning is a good thing but she turn a deft ear many times. I don't know what to do with her, i just hope miracle will happen, one day when she wakes up she feels happy and loved all over again.

Since ben is born, andrea has been very naughty, i know she does not get the attention she wants but she got to adjust and live with it. Daddy and Mummy is trying our best to give her time, moreover we do not have a maid, some time has to be given to do housework as well. This is really a difficult time for all of us, why can't andrea be good? She cries all day long, every single little thing, which drives me up the wall all the time.

I even try to stop andrea seeing the grandparents because she will become crazy when she sees grandma, cry and cry and cry when they want to leave and makes many non-sense request. I hate it when she does not obey to what i say and only grandma makes her crazy, i don't know why. We move back to our own home and andrea does not get to see grandparents everyday because grandma hate us and wants us to live on our own, she is tired in helping me to take care of my kids, forced me to quit my job and forced me to handle my 2 problem kids myself and tell me drinking my damn maid saliva is OK. Thank you very much ..... This lesson i will remember it FOR LIFE!!

When eating andrea eat very slow, currently i'm so sick of calling after her - "andrea chew, andrea eat, andrea faster, andrea swallow, andrea big mouth etc", i reduce the rice to the same amount that ben is taking. I don't know what to do with her, she is such a problem child. I just hope she will recover when my maid arrives later. This is really a bad milestone that i have recorded so far.

WORST ATTITUDE she has for the past 3 years. Everyone at home is emotionally tortured, how to HEAL? sigh... GOD pls HEAL all of them. Thank you for my mum to contribute such sad event to all of us at home.

Weekend escapade!

Wow, it has been so long that we did not stay in hotel after ben is born. for this 9 months we only went to Westin & Hilton once and that's about it. I'm glad that we had a chance to go shangrila again this time before the new maid arrives next week. When andrea was born we went very frequently, maybe because i hate to see my old maid's face, lol, always showing black face ... cannot tahan!

Andrea is really cute, she pack her own clothes, pillow & soft toys. I asked hubby to bring out the big bag this morning, when andrea saw it, she quickly put her stuff inside the bag! haha... this shows that she loves weekend stay in hotel too! I just hope everything goes smoothly because ben and andrea is currently sick. Andrea has serious cough, non-stop type at night, scary scary scary... i don't know if she is recovering or the massage is helping, she cough less last night. Ben having flu, i'm worried again, worried that he has stuffy nose and could not drink milk. Sigh... whatever it is, let it be a smooth holiday.

Update:
The executive room given was not up to our standard, maybe it's on the lower floor. We had made an upgrade for the second night for the Horizon Club room. Phew... it's so so much better. How can we live without money, I think i rather die if i i don't have any. All the while we stayed in Horizon club room, only this time we stayed in executive room, the voucher we had has downgraded, sigh, we need to pay 190++ for the upgrade. Whatever it is, we all LOVE it. We had 24 hours free drinks/ fresh juices, breakfast, afternoon tea, cocktail. Locitane toiletries, canggih coffee making machine in the room, etc It's pricey to stay in shangrila, i think we will opt for westin next time. We love pavillion too!

Lateral incisor - Ben

Ben's teeth is out very much faster than andrea, however talking/ signing is way too slow if compared to andrea.

7 months - start sprouting bottom central incisor
8 months - start sprouting upper central incisor
9 months - start sprouting upper lateral incisor

drink so little & eat so little also got chance to grow so fast. Not bad at all ...

9 months, 3 weeks, 2 days old

推拿手法

1。揉法 － 按下然后揉动［每分钟240 次］
2。推法 － 最快， 力最大 （轻快）［每分钟 220－280 次］
3。掌摩法 － moderate 力， 速。 和要放松 ［每分钟160－180次］
      指摩法 － 指一定要直 和要慢
4。按法－ 跟这次须 ＝ 轻，重，轻。 然后揉动叫按揉法
5。运法 － 最慢 ， 力最轻 ［每分钟 60－80 次］

Linking Memory Method

Andrea & Hubby has been struggling to get a perfect score for almost 1 year, when schichida started to do 50 pictures for linking memory. Me being the lazy mum, because i have other things to keep me occupied - ben, neglected andrea for this long. One fine day i kick myself in the butt and take over the responsibility of teaching andrea again. I observed the method shichida used - telling stories, i listen to the cd and tried to learn it myself 1st .. i find it very hard to memories it myself too. Suddenly, i remember some memory method i learn from secondary school, telling stories too, but you make up your own stories. So despite we follow the stories in the CD, i make up my own stories that relates to andrea. VIOLA! She did it in one day ... all 50 pictures - forward & backward. It's so amazing! I'm so proud of her :)

Ben can do ... August 2010

1. Ben can clap

2. Ben can do high five

3. Ben can stand without holding on to anything for more than 1 min (consider very long)

4. Ben loves to play with daddy - all the dangerous stunt like riding horses, flying, sometimes they will play hide and seek

4. Ben loves to play with Andrea - they love to chase each other, laugh and scream together, love to climb onto andrea's bed

5. Ben loves to open and close the curtain, on and off the table lamp, chew on all the sockets, chew on remote control

6. Ben loves to eat everything we eat for breakfast, for fruits - he prefer to hold and bite on his own, does not like me to scrap for him now. When adults drink from a glass, he will snatch the glass

7. Ben can crawl very fast, learning to walk - likes people to hold his hand, he can walk very fast too (always feel very excited, dunno why)

8. Ben kiss pocoyo & the Goldilocks and the three bears book (the bear). I was shock when he does that... Why never kiss mummy... naughty boy ... 

9. Ben likes to disturb andrea while she is sleeping .... climb on the bed, pull the hair, use both hands to wake andrea up, scream or make many noise like calling her to wake up, take andrea pillow and put his head on it, buried his head beside andrea. 

10. Ben shows sign of wanting to follow daddy / grandparents when they are heading to the door

9 months, 2 weeks, 2 days old

ben shichida - July 2010

Ben had attended shichida for over a month now, i would say he is still adapting to class like activity. He can sit on his chair for above 70%, the rest of the time just want to stand, get down from the chair & fussing. Overall his concentration is not bad. Honestly, i should wait until he turns 1 or like andrea - 1 year & 3 months only start shichida, at 9 months old is abit too early to enjoy the whole program.

There are a few parts ben enjoys :-
1. The abacus (most enjoy - watching sensei sing the song until counting on his own)
2. All the songs sang in class (he will sit and will not move)
3. All the activity which has small boxes (he likes to pour the content out from the box or shake it)

I don't know if he benefits from:-
1. ESP - most of the time he got it correct, however many times i feel that he does not know what to do when sensei asked him to choose. (correct then can lah, lol, shows that the right brain is functioning!)
2. flash memory - i don't know about this too, most of the time correct too. I doubt he knows which one sensei showed him just now... lol
3. all the left brain activities - like numbers & alphabet. Just play with him only lah, but i feel he doesn't know anything ... whatever ... but he super love ABC song!

All in all, it's good for a lazy mum like me. Once a week input better than none :)
I do not have time at home to teach, all my time has gone to feeding ben. He is not drinking 10oz from 6am-6pm till now. I don't know when will this improves... Oh MY...

Screaming Baby

Benjamin loves to scream .. just like his sister. When it started? one fine day (last 2 weeks), andrea shout once, ben followed, andrea shouted another time, ben followed. Andrea says: "ben, don't follow me". Andrea shout again, ben followed... Mummy sit and watch both shouting babies! Many times ben will scream when he is excited, agitated & when i left him alone. Many times i will say: "ben, that's very noisy", at times i will just laugh when he does that. I don't know if i still able to enjoy these development moment after i have start working.

Ben likes to SLIDE [crawling but hand holding on something to slide], he will use his wooden shape puzzle to slide, one hand each. It made me laugh ALWAYS. Sometimes he will use andrea's chopping board to slide. Once i saw him using andrea's pillow.

Ben is able to stand without holding on anything, when he wobble, many times he won't fall. When he holds my hand walking, i can feel that he can walk very soon, as he does not need me to hold him very firmly now, he only uses my hand to support if he stumble. However, he is not confident when i ask him to take only 1 step without holding me or any object. The best he can do? Hold on a table, turn 90 degrees to me, let of of hands from table, hands and leg simultaneously hold on to me.

currently his upper 2 incisor is sprouting, he doesn't seems to have any appetite, drink less & cannot finish his porridge now. almost a week now. poor boy

9 months, 1 week, 1 day

2 Months at home

Tomorrow mark the full 2 months being a SAHM. How do i feel? EXHAUSTED .... Taking care of the house & family is not an easy task, i really respect those stay at home mum, they are the greatest! Being me the perfectionist - the floor must be clean (hubby's territory), kids must eat healthy food, everything must be organize after one used, children should obey parents ... etc is really killing.

(1) I have learn not to FORCE things when it's not happening, however i still fail when ben doesn't want to drink his damn milk
(2) I must say my feelings towards hubby has improve a little, as he is more understanding now and is a great helping hand when i went insane. Last time i used to think we will be divorced because we have not been through enough hardship together, I guess the pain that has cause 'us' have bring us to another  level of understanding. I used to think he is an idiot and never understands my emotion and needs.
(3) able to see ben grow in weight and height is the greatest achievement & comfort. I'm happy to see ben laughing out loud when he sits on the swing & now imitate his sister (shouting, playing, bouncing), it's really fun to just watch. Every time when he does new things will brighten up my days.
(4) The only short term achievement i have at home is PLAYFISH games on facebook. Beside taking care of the kids, i will sneak out a few mins during the day to play games, basically is to renew the time  to earn more money - restaurant city, country story & pirate ahoy is the game that I'm enjoying playing
(5) Weekend is busy busy busy .... have to juggle the time between groceries, shichida classes, children nap & shopping. as ben has started his shichida class, we have less time for shopping now. I seriously prefer weekdays!
(6) Weekday is food food & food. Children's food preparation - andrea & ben eating the same ingredient. ben's add more water, andrea's add more seasoning. You think is easy? not when ben is on bad mood, he will keep pulling your pants & wail when i'm preparing (cut, wash, rinse, soak) the ingredients.
(7) The most relaxing time is the evening time, andrea, ben & I will sit at the stairs to eat our snacks (biscuit) & enjoy the cool breeze. Andrea will talk to me without fussing, ben will eat his biscuit & looking at his sister talking to me. After snacks we will go to the play ground or will walk around the condo. After this, showering time is nightmare. Ben will shout & scream when i shower for andrea, i have tried everything, none of it worked (put on high chair, put on the floor - with lots of toys). Hence i just let him cry his lungs out. Terrible
(8) I always look forward for hubby to come back, he is my life savior and the only person i miss the most during the day. With hubby around, i feel less stressful and i think the kids are more happy too.
(9) I have learn a few things from reading books & also analyze my own bazi chart. I have learnt baby massage - to heal ben's 5 important organs (but i dunno why he is not drinking now, teething maybe?) and andrea's cough. I learnt the importance of family relationship, how to bring up a healthy child & how emotions (anger, worry, jealousy) will hurt our own organs!
(10) All in all, i learn how to LOVE. I think i love hubby, my kids and myself more now.

Opportunity Knock on the Door?

It's frustrating when you know someone is interested to know more about you and may (50% chance) hire you BUT you have limitation, that is I have a FAMILY to take care. I'm not a mother that after giving birth then to leave them to other people, unless i know that care taker is responsible and will not torture my kids. Right now, i have maid issues, mum issues, i left with no one but myself to take care. The maid that have already confirm don't know when she will be arriving also .... Is this a really opportunity or it is another test to test my patient so that i could be a better person next time? So i will not easily lure by other people or all the opportunity that comes my way, i must remain calm and know what is the best decision for the best timing! BUT ... MY HUBBY does not have so much money to give me :( I'm doomed!

(a) Hua Wei headhunt me in April 2010, not successful because it requires frequent traveling to china
(b) Shell HR called me in July 2010, not successful because the manager cannot wait till November for me to start work. I do not want to forgo my precious 6 months holiday for this! Do you know how hard to get this unpaid leave & definitely i haven't rest enough. Moreover, if i start work in Sept, I will not have another chance of unpaid leave in my life ever again! I have not heard of any company that can have unpaid leave ... not even shell (the manager told me!)

All these sick opportunity - can you please go away .... It bothers me for a long time and keep bothering me, i cannot get my mind off it. I wish for a good career and with better income, I also wish that my children can be taken care by someone that can be trusted. Too much wish, i think children comes 1st .. If one day i die, i must not regret of choosing this path (i know i will regret and start blaming people when things don't come my way). You can either choose A or B! B that is - YOUR CHILDREN!

儿童经络 by 萧言生

My mum bought this book from china, searched in the internet found that they claim that the author is a liar, no one shall read this book. However, i have visit a few site, it seems that the massage is safe and i really do not care if the author copies other peoples work, because in the end, the most important thing is the information shall be genuine and should not lead to life threatening event.

I would like to summarize what i have learn from this book:- For children age 0-6

1.Make me realize that not only i need to know how to ease my child pain, i also need to be aware of my well-being at home. Relationship with my husband and overall home environment have to be peaceful in order to bring up a healthy kid.

2. Now i know what i have learnt from bazi - 金木水火土 is very useful for this. You need to know which area is weak, then only you know what area to improves 补

3. For common fever, night sweat, cough, phlegm, cold and daily preventive massage is available in this book. I find it useful

4. Very interesting note, how we behave will indirectly hurt our own organ. -> you kill yourself<-
(1)木: 伤肝 － 偾怒
(2)火: 伤心 － 大喜（玩太疯）／ 恨
(3)金: 伤肺 － 恼
(4)土: 伤牌 － 怨
(5)水: 伤肾 － 恐惧 ／ 烦

All in all, for adults, do meditation and pray more, so you can get rid of all the TOXIC describe above in order to be healthy. I must do Reiki more.

Mosquito Bite

So far ben had 2 times mosquito bite - hand & forehead. This time it's at the forehead and the swelling frighten me, it is much worst than the swelling on the hand. How on earth a mosquito can be this poisonous? Day 1 was just swelling on the forehead, the size as big as a tennis ball (no kidding!) + redness. When i brought him to shichida class, all mothers asked if he has a knock on his head. Day 2 was worst, ben's face changed... I feel that I'm not carrying my OWN SON! He looks like an alien - swelling forehead + life palace & nose bridge also swell! Honestly i don't dare to look into his eyes because i feel it's not ben! Day 3, the forehead had totally subsided but the nose bridge area still abit swell, but no more alien look, my ben ben is back! However, there is some pass on his left eye in the evening, thought it's not much so i did not bring him to the doctor, i guess is the damn mosquito poison! Today he looks very adorable :) despite the big red spot on his forehead. Poor Boy ...

1. Ben is able to go down the bed with his leg down 1st. I have been patting his butt when he wants to go down the bed, i think he gets it now
2. Ben loves to read the Three little Pigs, he will Huff & Puff with me. Clever Boy!
3. Ben will cry when andrea snatch things from him and when he sees us eating at the dinning table
4. Ben is able to use straw for drinking 2 weeks ago
5. Ben likes to hit the table with toys or bare hands, sometimes hit the floor. I don't know why he does that, he seems to enjoy it

8 months, 2 weeks, 2 days old

Onitsuka Tiger

Ever since I'm back from the UK, i have never wear shoe with socks anymore. All i have is heels & sandals. When i clear my shoes, i only kept my camper & roxy shoe for walking & Reebok for sports ... Just in case i need it. However, they have been sitting in the cupboard for years now :p They are all very old design as i bought them more than 5 years ago.

Recently hubby has this urge to buy Onitsuka Tiger shoe and i don't know where he pick up the interest. He bought one pair for himself, i must admit the designs are quite unique. Yesterday he bought another pair for me ... hehe... we have the same design ... I plan to wear it on my girl's Sport Day end of this month. At least i have a purpose for this new shoe :) Although i don't appreciate it as much as hubby does, but i do appreciate the nice design & it's quite comfy.

When i was in the shop at The Gardens, i over heard 2 customers looking for limited edition shoes. I'm surprise that i still see people collecting shoes as i only hear it during my college time, both customers were at their late 20s! However i am shock too because at 8pm, the shop has already sold RM14K shoes for that day! I never thought shoes can be a good business :)

Toy Story 3

Daddy brought us to watch Toy Story 3 today, it is andrea's first time to the cinema. As expected, she cried, luckily not much & daddy is able to comfort her and we stay till the end of the show! Good Job andrea! Somehow andrea knows she will be afraid i think, she bring along her pillow without us asking, thank god for the pillow, if not i think we cannot manage to finish that movie! During the movie, she cried & fuss on and off, she did not eat the Hot Dog we bought for her, only drank sprite & some pop corn. After the movie, she remind us to buy tutti fruity for her, i guess it's a relieve for her that the show is over! lol, she needs ice cream to RELAX ....

This is what Andrea has done so far:

1. She knows how to play Match. We played 20 cards so far, she enjoys it. (Sevi 1831 mini memory)

2. Andrea is able to make bracelet & necklace on her own - Box from ELC mothercare

3. Andrea made flower for Grandma's birthday - Box from ELC mothercare, I only need to help her to set up the Vase. 

4. Andrea is more confident in doing shichida worksheet now, I do not need to guide her 100%.

5. Andrea knows how to use my imac for playing her Playhouse Disney - mickey mouse games and charlie & lola games

6. Andrea helps me alot at home now - put dirty clothes in the basket, put all used utensil to the sink, keep her book after reading, keep her toys (sometimes), wear & choose her own shoe & clothes, help me to hang & fold clothes (handkerchief & pants only)

7. Help me to remove ben's socks & shoes when we came home

8. Andrea can recognize words on my iphone, she will call grandparents & daddy whenever she wants to speak to them. 

9. Andrea is able to sleep on her own now - Afternoon nap & night. I'm so proud of her!

10. Most importantly play with her brother when i'm busy cooking

3 Years, 2 Weeks, 6 Days old

My heart Melt

My little girl makes my day, she is such a sweet girl. Despite scolding her everyday, i know she still loves me. I really have to control my temper ..... 

1. Andrea suddenly told me, I don't like mama (grandmother). I asked : "why? i thought u like mama so much, always want to look for mama". Andrea replied: "no, i don't like, because mama always fight with mummy. I don't like mama." I had 2 argument infront of andrea, i know it's bad but I just cannot avoid it, I'm too emotionally depress at that time. My girl. no matter how much she loves her grandma, I know she loves me more :) 

2. When we are out for evening walk, i asked her :"andrea, what are you going to give me for my birthday". Andrea replied: "i want to give u rose, red one ... and one more like this (show me the flower on her T-shirt". Then i asked her :" why do you want to give me flower?". Andrea replied :"because i like flower". I'm happy because she will give me something she likes, not something she doesn't want! lol. Andrea always give something to ppl only when she does not want it... terrible! 

3. Last week, the whole week when she was on holiday ... she will ask daddy to give me a kiss when daddy goes to work. One or two days daddy did not kiss me before he went out because andrea forgot to remind him. Andrea will come to me and asked :"why daddy didn't give you a kiss before he go to work?" I replied :"because daddy loves you more than me (daddy always hug & kiss her before he go out)" Andrea replied: "nevermind, i will ask daddy to kiss you tomorrow OK?" Then she gave me a kiss :)

4. This afternoon i told andrea :"you see this mosquito bite my thumb, it's so itchy!" Andrea look at my thumb and rub it (at the red spot there) :" I kiss it OK? then it will become better already". After she kiss, she asked me :"OK now or not". 

I'm glad that andrea still loves me even i did not treat her the way i wanted to, the situation i'm having now really kills me, I do not have a day which i feel peaceful, there is too much things happening and the reason is because I'm not Calm enough and I'm too worry over the smallest stuff - like ben not poo-ing for 2 days, ben not drinking 10 oz per day. I just hope things will become better when i get a good helping hand. Love you Andrea. 

HFMD Back2Back

Ben shows sign of HFMD last Tuesday, today is his third day, luckily he was OK for all his meals. Ben has more blisters on the hands and legs (knees too) compared to andrea, however i cannot see any red dots in his mouth. Andrea had one big patch near the tonsil & a few around the mouth, for ben i only manage to peep the upper part of the mouth + tonsil area. It was clean, i guess not much in his mouth. Im very thankful for that, at least he drinks & eat his porridge/ fruits/ cereal.

I bathe Ben three times a day, as advised by my PD. He asked us to bathe andrea more, drink more fluid & rest more. This is what i did for ben for the past 3 days, i hope he will recover soon. I really need a rest.... I don't know if i have virus myself, i had headache for the past 2 days. Everyday i pray that my kids are healthy & obedient, I still need somemore time to really sink into this daily routine. The hardest part is to find time to read/ play with andrea & also teaching ben. I don't know how .....

After 1 month of cooking for ben & andrea, i feel more relax as i do not need to REALLY crack my head & stressed over what to cook for them. The ingredients are the same every week, all i need is to mix & match. Here is what i read from a cook book for children - at least 3 times meat (chicken/ pork) & 2 times fish in a week. I followed that, the rest all vege - pumpkin, broccoli, carrots, potato, corn, peas, baby spinach, cauliflower. Most of the time i steam ben's meal, if ben & andrea eating the same, i will use my Toshiba cooker. Life is so much easier with the cooker, hand blender & steamer. They are my life savior, i cannot imagine that i have to turn on the gas every time i cook!

What Ben can do

8 months 1 week 1 day old

What Ben can do thus far:
1. scream & cry very loudly when is agitated. However he screams even more after shichida class, the reason is - there is another boy who likes to scream & ben follows :s
2. Ben can open all my Pen cover
3. Ben can tear apart my breast pad!
4. Ben can hang himself on his fisher price Toy, if he steps on the correct thing (like a bump or anything can support him) he will peep over to another side and smile + make happy noise.
5. Ben can Open the mail box on his fisher price toys & Shut the window (i need to open the window 1st). He also likes to open and close the door, right now he is very rough, you can see him swing the door really hard :s
6. Ben likes to push and pull the chair, stool, towel rail. He enjoys the squeaking sound produced, how odd.
7. Ben likes to pull the cable - phone cable, PC cable & breast pump cable (when i'm pumping, he will happily pull the cable back and forth)
8. Ben likes to eat everything we eat, however we only allow him to eat bread now.
9. Ben watches Baby Sign DVD now, he likes to watch it
10. Ben loves to play Pee-a-Boo. Beside using hanky & pillow, now he likes to use bolster. He likes the bolster roll over him, he will laugh out loud.

HFMD

Andrea had contracted HFMD, now ben & andrea has been separated, just hope ben will not get it.

I was paranoid when i saw the red dots on her hands & feet & inside her mouth. I immediately start cleaning the house & hoping ben will not get it. After i have cleaned everything, by that time i was already calm, i realized what had done cannot be undone. Cleaning the house will not guarantee ben from not get it, even if ben has it, he has to go through it. I was so emotionally exhausted the whole morning. Phew... Beside worrying for ben, i cooked porridge early in the morning, boil barley water, pack all her vitagen & yakult & smoothies, pack her clothes and all her belongings.. for her to bring to grandma house, not forgetting her toys + puzzles, so she won't feel bored over there. I miss my girl right now, having her at home can be annoying at times but without her at home the house seems too quiet. I know ben misses his sister too, he keeps looking around like looking for something. Poor boy... anyway, if ben shows sign of HFMD, both of them can play together again, no need to wait for 7 days.

PD said andrea has a mild HFMD, he doesn't know why after more than 5 days this still explode, usually is within 5 days. It's very scary, i don't know if the H1N1 virus still in andrea's body :( I don't know why the virus incubate in her body for such a long time, poor ben always get his sister's sickness. Ben still has flu that he caught it from andrea 4 days ago.

Ben makes me frighten yesterday, he fell from his toy chair and had his labial frenum torn just like his sister. I was so scared, the blood only stops after 20 min, i put so much ice and i have used sooo much gauze. I'm really really scared at that time... right now, i put oral aid for ben and hope for speedy recovery.

Being a mother is not easy, especially with kids that is always sick & naughty

Last day of Tweedle Wink

I left with a heavy heart, I made some friends there, i guess TW has more time for us mother to chat. In shichida, usually the parents, including myself came on the dot & also the age gap. So far the class that i have been with andrea, the mothers are usually much older than me. Hence, i do not find the urge to keh poh with them, i guess they feel the same too.

Teacher Violyn gave us the term report, the content is not very specific, so i just throw them away after i reach home. Nothing much, I feel it serve no purpose. For shichida we have the report weekly & us the parents  wrote our observation too, hence it would be more meaningful for the kid in the future. That's what i feel .....

Honestly i think ben is not suitable to TW now, as he now crawl to teacher to grab everything in front, this not only disturbing other kids, i think he is not concentrate enough too. Whole class is just input of information, however i think the music part is really good. We get to listen to tuning fork & also use sticks to do rhythm  play after listening to a short rhythm. For kids below 3, this is very helpful i feel. I hope i can find some class like this for ben cos shichida doesn't have this.

8 Months Old

Ben had his shots yesterday, both Hep B & Pneumococcal together. Initially he would already take this last month, somehow PD thinks that influenza shots is more important. Ben cried very loudly + screaming when dr poke him. Poor Boy....

Weight: 6.7kg, Height: 69cm. His Weight is way below the average line, so dr. recommended to feed him 3 times solid as ben still does not really like milk. Height & head is on average line. I just don't know how to boost up his weight. When andrea was at 7+ months, she also weight and height the same. I just hope ben will put on more weight than his sister, I need to cook more protein - toufu, fish, meat

Ben is now eating WHY NOT cereal in the morning, porridge for afternoon & evening. Sometimes if we are going out, he will take Wakodo or Pigeon baby food. He would have 1/3 scrape fruit, either Pear or Apple. Sometimes if he is lucky, hubby will buy papaya, banana, plum, apricot, peach, watermelon, melon for him. Not to mention, 10oz of milk from 6am-6pm daily.

Currently ben is very clingy to me (just started this week), he cannot be put down nor play on his own. He would cry for me, but the good thing is he sleeps alot. I guess he is growing? I think he sleeps alittle bit too much now. Well, baby is always changing, i hope he could play on his own next time.

Ben is going to shichida class next month, we will stop tweedle wink. I'm getting my deposit back tomorrow:) I wonder if Heguru is better .... Need to see the quality of Ben's sensei next next week only decide.

Andrea 3rd Birthday

My Little girl is officially 3 years old now, suddenly i feel so old & realized that i haven't done good enough for my kids. Where are all the things that i have learnt to bring up a healthy child? I guess i cannot do it 100% without a maid's help, I have two shortcomings which is - very quick temper & get stressed over a small stuff. I guess my 2 kids emotional development is affected & brain development has already shut down by half, because i have been raising my voice alot & screaming at them at times. I'm learning to change those 2, I hope both kids will have a healthier environment although we don't have a suitable maid right now. 

We had 2 Birthday celebrations for andrea - Family & School. I can see that she is more happy with family members, her smiles, u can see it's from the heart when we sang happy birthday song for her. I felt very happy when i saw her smiling & grinning like that in the restaurant that day. On the other hand, she is too timid at school i think, she did not even smile when everyone sang for her. However when i asked if she enjoy the celebration in school, she said - Yes. Well, i guess next year she will smile for her birthday ;)

Andrea also enjoy packing her party packs for her friends. We pack 43 in total, for everyone in school - 3,4,5 & 6 years old school. We did 10 by 10, sometimes andrea would get blur because there are too many things in one bag. Hence, I asked her to put drinks & crisps in the bags 1st, then only we put the other small stuff by grouping them on the floor then lastly put it  inside the bag. She enjoys doing it and asking me if there are anymore after the 43 bags!! 

2 weeks SAHM

I have moved back to my own home on 27th May 2010, I am still adjusting to the life of handling the 2 kids myself. I don't have much time on my own, all i do is house chores, cooking and bring the kids to the play ground in the evening. I feel life is very routine & I'm seriously not suited to do routine job ( This proves that no Bing fire in the Bazi chart really cannot do routine work). Thank God that my IBM Job is not routine. I could die of doing same old thing everyday........

There are alot of challenges:
1. Food to cook for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner for my 2 kids. I tend not to repeat food for the same week & have to think of something that Andrea & Ben can eat the same food for lunch, so i don't have to cook 2 different dish.
2. Having time for andrea like reading to her, doing shichida worksheet with her and bringing her down to the play ground. My girl is behaving very good, I'm glad that she is a good helper at home.
3. Trying to wash all bottles & prepare food to cook when ben is napping. I always pray that he will not wake up half way when i have not finish my task. Hubby is a good helper in cleaning the floors every night, wash the dishes, fold clothes, tidy up the house etc .....
4. I have to go to the toilet/ shower with my toilet door open, afraid that the kids is screaming for me or having any accident when im in the toilet.
5. Ben is getting heavy, Baby Sling is good to relieve my muscle ache alittle. Ben still likes to cry for me to carry him whenever he feels bored. Today i was shock, because the grandma pick him up when he cries, he still continue to cry,  so i have no choice to carry him, he stop crying immediately. sigh... I'm in big trouble (grandma only comes 3 times in a week - morning)

I don't know when i will have my maid, i dare not hope because i know i will be disappointed again. The maid that we have confirmed last 2 weeks cannot work anymore, because she has a mass in her stomach, she has to undergo operation to remove it. Now I'm still waiting for new biodata. What a Life ....

Ben's pearly white

Benjamin had his 1st tooth out at the bottom, the other side is not out yet. I hope the other side + the top teeth will be out in no time, he is fussing alot :( Despite feeding him grip water, i don't know what else i can relieve his irritation.

Beside this, he is learning to sleep thru the night i guess, these few nights he did not wake up after 12am. I had to wake up 5am+ to express my milk :( It's so painful that i cannot continue to sleep till 7am! However i think it's good because i can now store my milk in 8oz cup. Recently the amount i have had drop significantly during my usual pumping time, rarely i have 6oz full cup for storing, not to mention 8oz full cup. I just hope i have milk until ben had better appetite, to eat at least 3-4oz every 3 hours.

Ben also had 2 time solid right now + 1 portion of fruits. I had introduce him to a wide variety of food. Food from shelves (morning cereal + rice cereal to add to my home made puree), Jar food like heinz and my own cooking (i tried to cook food where ben & andrea can eat together for lunch). I follow most of the recipe book that i have bought last time, it does come in handy right now.

Short Trip to Singapore

Daddy's promise to andrea, to bring her to Singapore if she has 60 stamps (she get 1 stamp for going to school). This is how we reward her for going to school, but i have not expected she likes school as much as she does now. She really enjoy her dancing & singing class, during Parents Day at school, she did so well. I'm very Proud of her. 

We enjoyed our trip, the happiest person is andrea i guess, she bought so many things & enjoy watching her pink dolphin show. Daddy bought her a pink dolphin soft toys, she is still carrying it 24x7. We stayed at Swissotel, same hotel as we were here the last trip for amy's wedding. This time we park at the valet, it's so much more convenient, but of course cost more, but i guess it's worth the money. Room wise, we had the refurbish floor again, so overall our stay is very comfy.

We arrived at Singapore about noon, we headed to ang mo kio to have lunch - fish & co. The FISH is SUPERB, do some grocery shopping & headed to hotel for check-in. Dinner we had Crepe, healthy food yet yummy. After dinner we went to Robinson for household shopping.

Next morning, we went to the Zoo. This time we watched 2 animal feeding session - Elephant, Polar Bear & 2 shows (rainforest & penguin). At lunch time we had KFC, the fish burger also very NICE! Anyway, too bad it's raining, andrea was sad she couldn't play at the playground. Daddy bought her a small umbrella, i guess she is all happy again. After the kids nap, we went to Isetan for some household shopping again. We had Japanese food - Ramen.

The 3rd Day, we went to underwater sea at sentosa island, we wanted to see pink dolphin. Only Jelly fish amaze andrea at the aquarium, others were so so only. After that we went to the new compound where they keep & train their pink dolphin. The show was very short, but andrea enjoys it! After their nap at the hotel, we went to Takashimaya for household shopping, they have wide selection of household here. For dinner we had Cocoa, It's the best I have ever tried for so many years now. When Cocoa was just started in Malaysia, it was very nice. I'm glad i had a chance to eat it again in Singapore.

On our last day, we went to Vivo City. Did some shopping & leave Singapore by 12 pm. I love this trip.

Reiki Journey - 2

Needless to say, i do not have time to do it. I need about 60 min every night to do self healing, however im always too tired to finish it or i will be disturbed by ben (need to breastfeed him). However, i have successfully finish the whole course yesterday night and was feeling extremely energized after that. Sad to say, thus far i only have completed 2-3 times only.

I will try my best to do it every night & i hope when my new maid is here, i can join the monthly reiki class in KL. I think this is very good in terms of connecting the mind-body-soul. I seriously need this after a long tiring journey without a maid.

Both were attacked by virus

We brought both of them to the hospital yesterday because both of them were coughing, but andrea was worse because she complain that she couldn't breathe. Dr. musa was on half day leave, so we went and see Dr. siva. The visit was very pleasant as andrea did not fuss, i think it's because Dr has her favourite hello kitty sticker! I'm glad that i don't have to go thru emotional stress when visiting doctor this time.

Today andrea seems better, i think the nostril spray is really useful, we got this from doctor musa last time but did not know it can be used this way. Andrea's fever still hovering at 37 degrees, so we fed her paracetamol before she goes to school. She really likes school nowadays.

Benjamin on the other hand gone bad to worse today. He had fever the whole night yesterday till now. This morning touches 38 degrees, so i fed him paracetamol, now the fever is lingering around 37.5 degrees Celsius. I hope he will get well soon, I'm so worried & tired. He slept alot this morning, and drink alot too, in total from 8am to 1pm he had already drank 10 oz! I can feel the heat in his body that suck up all his fluid in the body. This is the 1st time he had fever for so long, about 12 hours now, it have no subside to 36 + degrees :( Despite breastfeeding him, he caught sickness from the sister 2 times already. Poor boy....