Term Evaluation Dec 2010

Here is a video of Andrea played for the evaluation. Andrea Gotten B+. There is so much improvement to be made. At home she did it perfectly, i do not know why on the stage she seems like forgetting the basics ~ 

1. Play position

2. Chin on the Chin rest

3. Hold violin up high

4. bow - cannot look at the audience

5. get into the beat of the song

hmph .... I must never give up! Andrea will get A the next term evaluation. Must make some concert ticket and sell it to grandparents, i think she still doesn't fully enjoy performing. She is still curious looking at the audience reaction. 

Loves to be Pretty

Andrea loves to be pretty, she would tell me what she wants to wear for that day, ask me to tie up her hair, put on her own hairband, bring her bag and make sure lipstick (toy), mobile phone (toy) and tissue is inside her little grey bag, later she will put on her necklace and bracelet (sometimes she will wear all of her bracelet in one go and i have to persuade her that one will do) and lastly will want to wear her high heels. 

Everyday preparing to go day care she will do the above and i have to eliminate those which are not appropriate like high heels but i allow her to wear on the last day of day care and the teachers are really her big supporter, make her so happy because the teacher cannot stop praising her and say you look like a princess so pretty and start to admire her necklace, bracelet, dress and high heels! Young teachers are really energetic and know how to play with kids! Sometimes she will bring her grey bag and left it in the car and ask me to take good care of it. 

On weekends, she would do the same too and when i ask her not to then she will give excuses, I WANT to show gong gong and ma ma or i want to be like kim yi yi. The funny thing is she will take the toy lipstick and phone and pretend to put on lipstick and someone call her, she would ask me not to talk so loud because someone call her when we are in the car. Andrea is more willing to take care of benjamin now and would help me most of the time i ask her to and she is less resistance to share her food with ben now. 

Power of WANT

Now, i didn't concentrate or meditated to get something i want. I know if i don't get it i won't die and there is always another time. I have been wanting to eat Yorkshire Pudding for Christmas because it's British Sunday Roast and it's really yummy and usually you can only find it on Christmas (long long time ago). I searched high and low, asking friends and also online to see where i can eat Yorkshire Pudding + Roast in KL as last Christmas we had it in Jarrod and Rawlins and it wasn't that nice.

Ritz Carlton was my choice because only this and chinoz on the park KLCC. My friend asked me to book early as it is always full, the price is RM130++ and i find it abit steep so i didn't make booking right away. On Christmas day itself i felt like eating roast and yorkshire pudding , so i called mum and see if they are interested and i pray hard to get a place there. I called the hotel and surprisingly they said got vacancy. Cannot believe my luck because it's Christmas somemore! We went today and they said i didn't make booking and made a very big hoo haa, finally we got our seat. We took our lunch and went home.

I know my Guardian Angel is listening and know what i want, If the person did not confirm a place for me i will not be at Ritz, when im at Ritz the guy tried to shoo me away but the lady arranged table for us. The guy asked me not to shout, i was just roaring at him because i'm a dinosaur, either you give it to me or i will eat you up. I feel bad after the argument because i was asking myself where are all the love inside me, after i came back and showered (recharged), my inner voice told me that I've did nothing wrong - anger is to protect our self as long as we did not harm anyone (killing), law of attraction gave you what you wished for shows that you have showed enough love. Don't worry, you have done nothing wrong.

I hope the people who had lunch with me did have great lunch as the food was really yummy especially the desserts! I didn't have much appetite to eat because i was upset and wondering why love was absent just now, there is no peace after the fight. Only Joy for the food :)

Merry Christmas

Today is Christmas eve! I feel Joy and I feel love. I love Christmas, the decorations are so beautiful and i love Christmas carol and i love seeing people wearing Christmas costumes and i definitely love Christmas food. I enjoy so much in the UK where i see and touch real snow for the 1st time and i would wish for white Christmas every year. The anticipation is really joyous and warm because you know it's Christmas!

Today office is really quiet, all the Christians must have taken leaves for christmas. My work life has been great, despite some small rocks that made my road bumpy, overall it's great. I can feel that my connection with people is very much closer now and I would bump into people that i have not seen for a long long time. It feels great to reconcile with people that you have not met for a while. This christmas i receive more gifts from my colleague compared to last year and i feel the awkwardness has tremendously decreased when i talk to people who are not really close to me. I really love this change and i receive my payout yesterday and it shows RM300 more and i told my manager and she said it might be wrong, asked me don't use it. I felt upset for one moment but release the anger and worries because i know i have abundance and the divine will guide me. I also helped andrea to pack some christmas goodies for her friends in school, violin and shichida class. Andrea choose the goodies and drop it into the bag, i would help her to tie it. Andrea just love to share her love to everyone around her. 

I hope everyone would have a Joyous christmas and a Happy New Year!

Spiritual Journey

As per Wiki:

Spirituality can refer to an ultimate or immaterial reality; an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of their being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.” Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individual's inner life; such practices often lead to an experience of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm. Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life. It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world.

I hope i will not become a monk after this, lol. All i want is to get emotional stability and to live a peaceful life. Inevitable that human will have some desire-pull based  on our bazi and i do really enjoy my luxury life as per my bazi, i hope i will not give that up in the end of the day. I'm actually born with a good chart despite having emotional problem where i always feel people purposely 'harm' me, in actual fact i gave in to that and in turn i harm myself eventually. I know my root cause but without going into spiritual, i cannot cut out the root - I learn and been in there and i know this is the only cure for myself.   

I had a dream last week, someone played a song in my dream and i don't like it, hence i ask the person standing next to me, what song is that. He told me Kundalini. I just kept quiet and walk away as i know kindalini is 'Qi' in Indian (at that time but it meant alot more than that) and they may have their own song to achieve alpha wave state. When I'm in office, suddenly i feel the urge to google kundalini, to find out more. There is one precious website  that i have found it gave me confirmation and learn alot more about spirituality. I am grateful i had that dream and I'm not sure why i don't like the song instead of loving it wholeheartedly, maybe i still have alot of anger inside me or my innerself told me that I'm still feeling insecure of this journey. Whatever it is, I will continue to meditate and remove the negative energy according to my bazi.

http://kundalini-teacher.com/meditations.php

According to Mystress (the author of the web page), some people was a witch past life and i think i was on a journey to become goddess but don't know why cannot achieve. and is being re-born. I have this giving heart that I want to share everything that i have and i feel upset when people does not appreciate it, the Goddess also will do the same when people meditating and asking for help, they will HELP no matter what. At one point i was telling myself to stop being so foolish but after reading this web page, i know i have quality that many human beings does not have or simply hard for them to do it. Many says i have good life, or tell me that I have better life than them but i always shut my ears because they are bullshitting at that time because i was too bog down with my emotional issue. Right now when i look in different perspective I'm actually very lucky to have good childhood, wise parents to teach me, have the money for many experience and learning and luxury stuff, hubby who does not react to my anger, high pay job (i know i complain but it's quite high compare to the work i need to do) and right now learning about spiritual. I thank the divine power for all these and i will continue to give whenever i can. 

It's year end and i usually have 10 items for next year resolution, this year i only have 1. Have faith in meditating and I will get all - everything i wished for. I feel really happy, maybe because i found my HOME. I don't know, it's just a feeling :) I always tell myself, i cannot be a monk this life - i don't know why i have a feeling i will become a monk very soon! GOSH! I DON"T WANT!

AH Diary 2 (Dec)

I feel so much better after 2 consecutive nights of DVD and also plus the healing i did every morning. I have a feeling that i have come to the end of the road, the question that i've always ask myself - "how does life works". I asked myself this question when i was around 13 years old, I envy all my friends in royal lake club, I was sad because my brother's sick, I was sad because i see my parents were in pain when my brother pass away, I feel helpless when i need 'GOD' to help me thru my teenage years, I feel worried and fear for my future after secondary school, I feel upset when i do not get the relationship i want, I fear that i cannot get the best job in the world, I'm feeling insecure of money. etc - These follow me until year 2010 which is 29 years old and finally i have the answer.

16 years journey:

Kuan Yin was the one i ask for emotional comfort in early years. Mum would buy flowers and food for praying, I see mum chanting infront of kuan yin every morning. I follow mum chanting to kuan yin when my brother diagnose with cancer. When mum is away, i take up the responsibility to pray - josticks, refill oil for the lamp, flowers once in a while and chanting. I remember one night there is no electricity and the oil for the lamp going to finish, and i thought of asking neighbour for it but finally i didn't because i prefer to work out something myself than begging people for something. Hence i walk out ALONE in the dark 8-9pm to the grocery shop - it was so scary and windy, i walk/ run as fast as i could and i keep telling myself it's OK, i only need 15 min i will be back home and with the light on kuan yin table, she then will see us clearly and will protect us. (i actually believe what i told myself at that time). 

I was once very attach to jesus because mum is away from me and dad would go to singapore every weekend to visit my brother. I know my parents is very tiring, three of us sister is on a rotation basis to accompany dad to singapore weekly. My friend brought me to christian camp and they taught me how to pray and i do it at home when i need help. Why i never go back to kuan yin because we have moved to a new house and the attachment to kuan yin is no longer there. I was very afraid because dad was undergoing a very stressful and pressured moment, he lost his temper a few times and i feel so helpless because there is no one to comfort me. The only help i get is from jesus, when i pray i actually see him (shadow) - standing at the door watching over me. In my imagination of course

Soka Gakkai came when mum is back with us at home. I accept Soka Gakkai very easily maybe because i see mum chanting everyday and is very devoted to it. Mum is my motivator to achieve things i want in life, without fail - mum will chant every night for 1hr, hence i will follow mum to chant for 15-30min every night. From here i experience the connection to the universe (back then i do not know what is it called) and the heat on my body and palm. Automatically i know when chanting for things we want, we need to 'feel' it then only i will stop. I had a great time in the UK, attending the UK youth division performance in london every year and it's a great experience for me, i get to know people from the UK and also Thailand (Top) and Hong Kong (victor). I love reading their magazine as it bring so much enlightenment and comfort to me while i was alone in the UK. 

I'm back home after my degree and the connection with Soka Gakkai decrease tremendously, Maybe i do not have friends like i have in the UK where we have something in common (came from other country to study), i continue to chant when i have problem until i was hit by bad luck (heaven and earth clashed on my bazi), the pain is very great that chanting nam myo ho ren ge kyo alone cannot heal & comfort me. This is when i start to go into bazi, mian xiang and feng shui. I want to know WHY i had bad luck. This is when i met Joey Yap, he is really funny and i really enjoy all his classes and his talks. It does bring me comfort at that moment because i met alot of friends, and now these friend show me the way to spiritual. 

When i was young, i have already exposed to qi gong because of my brother, and i learn tai chi before i conceive with andrea. I learn reiki last year. I learn to make energy ball from shichida class. All these now i understand is the source, the root of the universe. Whatever name you call it, it's from the same source. 

I read the power and it enlightens me, and i read Louise L Hay, they talk about the same thing but in different words. With the knowledge of universe energy and how you are getting bad luck or what not, you can heal yourself. All the bad things happen to you, you do it to yourself. To heal myself, it's really hard honestly ... right now at this moment, only the DVD is helping me. Those people in the DVD tells me and remind me of what is important and i will concentrate on those and do healing. Will i have prosperity and abundance? I believe i have but right now i cannot confirm with you as i'm still new in this path. 

Highest knowledge about the universe/ religion/ science depends alot on your divine wisdom. I understand that every human being will have their timing to understand all these. I really hope what i've written in this blog will help you in anyway, I will be more than happy to help anyone that wants to get on board to a life with abundance.

SV - 12Dec2010

Next week is term evaluation! I was worried when i heard this, because i thought andrea will not make it because i lack of time to practice with her and as of the lesson today, she cannot play big time D and Rock on A properly, needless to say twinkle variation. Every lesson, i just let her enjoy the class, only 10-20% of the time correcting her. I usually correct her at home than in class. On that day, andrea told teacher that she already can play big time D, gosh ... she only can sing, i gave her the sticker because she played D string but the note she played very short. I thought it was an encouragement for her to practice more, i shy away when dr. ng ask andrea to show him later. 

Anyway, today andrea amaze me when i'm in the shower. she played twinkle variation A, but in a slower beat! I smile to myself and i feel very happy when i heard that, i cannot believe my girl can play it, she barely can play a string properly last few days and suddenly it's perfect! Teacher said 3 months they can play twinkle variation and my friend's daughter at 5 years old, 3 months only can play - i cannot believe my girl 1.5 months can play already. After Sunday class, i had her practice every evening, i will go shower and ask her to practice on her own and i will play the CD and she will follow it after i finish shower. This is to prepare for next week evaluation. Today is just Wednesday and the two pieces - big time D and rock on A is perfect! I'm so so HAPPY! Will see how's her performance this Sunday :)

Now i concur what dr. ng has to say last time. Children shall let them sing the beat and it will come naturally - to play it on the violin. Sing Sing Sing, yes! I love the solfege he did, andrea loves it too. 

AH Diary 1 (Dec)

To maintain at the highest state all the time is extremely difficult for me. Bad things happening after one another! Why is it so hard?

All started with the negative vibes this web leader emitted last week, i was in such a bad mood because she cannot stop making me an idiot. My Manager then wanted this to stop and ask me to find another solution, FINE! I was in an extremely bad mood because number 1, i was extremely underpay for the past 3 years and i missed my salary adjustment + increment because i was on LOA for 6 months. Moreover, i have so many shits to clean up because next year the GMU BC going to review my process! I feel so overwhelm by the amount of work i need to do yet so little pay, or shall i say stagnant pay. I know i cannot complain because family comes 1st and i shall endure this sick little pay i'm getting. I am very angry because all i have did to heal myself now has gone to waste because of work! I lose my temper because of work and i lose my patient because of work. I HATE WORK! 

I was so upset today that i went for a facial during work hour and i have a friend kind enough to bring me out for lunch - away from the office. I was so upset that nothing seems right - booked the hayatt hotel and the stupid lady takes so damn long to answer my email, until now no reply, called the stupid agency and told me that POLO contract just out and Thursday only submit to immigration and told me end of january only can get maid - What the HELL is going ON!? This Friday my Sister-In-Law is going to intrude my house for 3/4 nights. My KCO testing suppose to close beginning of december and my tester had another 4 more open testing which cannot be closed, i have to rush for her yet tomorrow is my official testing starts for all ASEAN countries! I am very upset because my manager still doesn't give me my band 7, she said if give now their budget allocation for 2010 have left a little only, if promote next year 2011 then got more budget then can increase more. HOW MANY PERCENT MORE?! Damn it... I REALLY HATE WORK. One more thing, my GMU going to held education session and peer review in Malaysia next year and i have to book hotel for them, book room and all that - like an admin! My Manager told me this year they all went to korea and i missed it! DOUBLE SHIT! All good things i miss it, what else i cannot miss! 

I don't know what to do. I will watch the DVD (you can heal your life by louise L Hay) again tonight and see if it helps. Really in deep shit. 

Gap Casting Call

I've got the text from kim few weeks ago and never thought of wanting to let andrea go for casting. After saw the Gap Casting Call on facebook, all the little kids are so adorable and i gave it a second thought. Maybe i shall let andrea to have an experience since she loves to go on stage so much. 

We arrived at about 11.30am and it has a long long queue, we quickly bought present for my nephew and andrea's outfit and gotten number 61 for shooting. After register we quickly had our lunch at vietnam kitchen and our turn is at around 12.45pm. Phew... it was hard work because i have no idea how to get andrea in the mood and i'm afraid that she will break down crying last minute, as she always does. 

I bring her to see how other kids pose for the camera, I talk to her - ask her to imagine she loves to pose for the camera, imagine that she enjoy being taken photo by professional and imagine that she is very confident when standing on the red box. Before going in, i ask her: "OK?". She happily says OK and bounce a few times, so i thought she's OK and is all ready. When her name is called, she cling on to me tightly, i have to carry her as she refuse to walk. I put her on the red box and whisper in her ears :" just enjoy yourself, do what ever the camera men ask you to do." Andrea's face turn red, watery eyes, but did not burst out crying, then i heard daddy's voice, "I will show teacher natalie OK?" Then andrea gave a little smile and the shooting starts. Half way she started to dream! "Oh My God, NOT NOW" .. I was thinking to myself. I snap my fingers and call for andrea - Concentrate! Concentrate! How can she dream when spot light is on her and camera is clicking away?! GOSH! Eating God Problem! 

Camera men choose this, as the others was blank look because she was dreaming. On the way home i ask her if she likes being shoot and under the spotlight. She said yes. Then i ask her why she didn't give me the sweetest smile just now? She told me she did not enjoy herself enough. Andrea ask me to bring her again next time and she will enjoy herself very much and look very sweet next time. She was holding her photo all the way home and keep on looking at herself in the photo. I think this is a nice experience for andrea and i know she really likes it, I need to help her to overcome the fear, i guess a few more times she will enjoy it, just like being on the stage! 

Morning

Falling flowers covered the grass. Pink. white.

Windy morning. people dancing and walking in the park. 

I love serene morning and the greenery that i see when I'm driving out from my house. I will miss it when I move to my new house. I love to be just 2 of us in the car, where andrea for once did not try to win over my attention and did not fuss or cry intentionally over small stuff. I enjoy listening to andrea reading to me, it's so wonderful that she started to read. I love my morning. 

Work has been busy because it's quarter-end closing, everything is rushing in madness. I have 3 days leave and i can't wait till end of December. Today i loose my temper and new colleague was shock and ops! I did it again, i thought i can control but somehow ... anger blinded me. I need to heal myself again tonight. I pray that the manager will gain the sales that she wanted and can talk nicely to everyone around her. I apologized that i sounded like I wanna slap you (as my new colleague said) but actually i was trying hard to explain it to you because you sounded like you have already close your door. I know it's quarter-end closing, i hope that you will have a happy 2010 ending and god bless you. I forgive you ..... 

Tomorrow is saturday! It's Cooking day! Corn for Saturday and pumpkin for Sunday! I'm lucky to have home cook food from mum during weekdays and i feel healthier now as i rarely have headache after i've started work. Maid not here yet - luck cannot change, too bad you have such bad luck, all you can do is to endure and go into spiritual, stick your head up again only when good luck comes. Old maid have not transfer - new maid has not approved. What is the Agency doing .... call 2-3 times a week does not help, have done that for more than a month now! I don't know what's happening ...... Divine Power, i need some miracle. I always feel the maid is already here, i don't know why she is still not here physically yet! Can she be here before 24th dec? Andrea's last day of day care is 24th dec. Help me answer divine power! 

SV - 5Dec2010

Today we did all that we have done before - exercise, playing violin, games etc, with addition learning 2 more pages of A&D string. Everything went smoothly and in the middle of the class, andrea turn to me and ask "why we didn't go up the stage today?" I told her to ask Dr.Ng instead, I've no idea. Andrea kept to herself and i thought she just wanna say it out and forget about it. When class ended and i was about to pack my own bag (books and camera), she walk up to teacher and say very loudly: "Dr. Ng, why we didn't go up the stage today?" I was very shock and very proud of my girl that she has the confident to voice it out for herself. That's a very good milestone! Teacher then ask all the children to line up and went up the stage to perform 3 min on the stage, teacher was also very happy with andrea and told the class that, this is the correct attitude of learning violin, you must ENJOY performing! lol ... i hope andrea can play properly, so far there is no nice melody from her yet :) However i'm confident that andrea you will play good songs with your strong desire and love for violin! Good Job!

On the other hand, I do not have time to practice with andrea now. ever since i went back to work .You are in day care until 5pm and we arrive home around 6.15 everyday. After i shower, daddy will be back with ben ben, and all of us have dinner and by that time you already want to sleep :( I trust the Divine Power will guide me and give me a choice of spending more time with my children because life like that for andrea is not healthy - we only look forward to the time pass by faster without really appreciating each other company and learning's together. I have so much to teach them but that require me to think of a way to deliver to them and it takes time (trial and error). I hope miracle will come sooner than anything else. Love & Peace

Heal Your Body

Have just finished reading "Heal Your Body by Louise L.Hay. I have many 'work' to do to cure my physical illness. These are the mental causes i've created for myself in the past. After reading it, I feel so stupid because the physical pain and illness i have was what i've done to myself. During my reiki class i ask teacher about my numbness on face, shoulder and arm while attunement. He told me i have emotional pain in the past that i have not let go, i told him ... not that i know of. He said it might be in my subconscious mind because not only this life emotion, past life emotion is possible. Well, if you believe life is eternal (SGI) then it's true that Past life, now or future makes no difference because we are only in different 'shell'. The soul and mind are the same.

Back to the book: these are my findings and conclusion:

1. I was very resistant to what hubby [right side of my body] has to say all the time [ear], that is because I don't feel emotionally secure while i was expecting it from hubby. There is irritation, anger, annoyance accompany it [infection] and I refuse to release the past and letting the past rule today [fungus]

2. I make life a burden by my own attitude [shoulder] ever since Benjamin is born. I always feel i do not have the capacity and ability to hold the experience of life ever since Benjamin is born [arm]. This makes me do not have the ability to carry my experiences in life with joy [shoulder]. It is very severe on the left side because left represent receptivity taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother. I was also very unbending bullheadedness when everything seems bad [neck stiffness]

3. As Hurting Officer profile, i need to be constantly look good [face]. I've got face numbness 2 weeks before i start work. I had experience once too when I was feeling low because I feel all my relative accusing me of treating my mum bad, this went away when i tell myself to focus only on myself and do not let the negative vibes to attack me. 

I hope i can heal myself as soon as possible because all that above has follow me for more than a year now. I believe that the divine power will guide me to obtain absolute happiness. I pray that everyone on earth will have Love, Peace and Joy everyday. 

Feels so weird

Firstly i must give thank to my mum, dad and hubby of taking care of my kids while i can have my time to re-attend reiki (with another teacher). To achieve absolute happiness, you need to feel love and have gratitude from your heart, my reiki teacher actually said this and he share alot of things which i found out the past 5 months! Most of it i learnt from 'The Power". How things comes together now and enlighten me really makes me feel happy because I'm getting to know how this whole universe works and how we human can tap on these 'magical' things to get what we want (in a positive way of course). I must also thank my guardian angels, I love you for giving me a smooth road to spiritual enlightenment (meeting the right teacher and picking the right book to read). 

Oh! I feel very weird because when i was in shower, my left arm is RED! The part where i had blue black, is the energy healing it or what?! I really hope so ... when teacher channeling the energy thru my crown chakra, i actually feel numbness on my left face and my left arm - serious blockage i think. Another thing is, that place has many books and had 2 book shelves, i only pick one book and wanted to buy... Towards the end of the class, teacher recommends a book, which is the book that i picked up. I picked up the best author from hundreds of books there! thanks guardian angels

Just want to jot down, my new colleague shared her christian viewpoint with me the other day. It makes me feel that, i shall teach my children myself instead of pushing them to church (as i previously planned). I know this universe, we need love and strong confidence, only Christianity can give because they tell you GOD loves you and GOD dies for you, you can leave all your worries with GOD and he LOVES you. With this mind set, we human can go VERY far. After talking to her, not all Christians will use this in a positive way. I can tell you, all Christians are very confident and have strong character and determine because they have all the core foundation every human needs, but some of them uses this in a selfish way. So, conclusion is ... all teaching has it's own flaw. I may need to reconsider to teach my kid on my own now :) Reiki attunement for them at 10 year old :p 

Walking VERY steadily

I feel bad that i did not update benjamin's milestone as much as i did for andrea, part of the reason because mum and I are so busy with housework and cooking, we barely have time to teach nor spend time with ben :( His luck or what? Sigh ... But i love them all the same

Ben can walk very steadily 1 month ago and right now attempting to run i guess, he can walk very fast like running but not there yet. Since i started working, all 4 of us will leave home at 7.30am. Every morning, my hands and hubby's hands are FULL [andrea's day care bag, my own bag, ben's bag, dinner tah pau bag, hubby's working bag + lap top bag] - phew ... we are so lucky that ben can walk on his own. When I open the sliding door, ben still need me to hold his hand so he can go down to the corridor, and he will walk/run all the way to the lift, andrea will help to hold ben's hand for the stairs which leads to the lift. when we are down at Ground, he will walk to daddy's car ALL BY HIMSELF! Thank You Ben! :)

Ben's first word is also shoe i guess. Andrea vocab explode at 1 year 2-3months, I'm waiting ben's explosion too! hahha.. I don't sing and do action for ben now, because andrea is learning violin, we listen to suzuki violin CD everyday - ben will clap his hands and sway a little. I only sing to him when I put him to sleep and songs we sing in shichida class. Hence, he doesn't have any songs he particularly likes.

During dinner time, i will feed him his porridge 1st when our turn to eat, i will give him some rice and some vege or meat from my plate. I will stop him from using his hands (but always fail) and always remind him to use SPOON. He is still learning and enjoy eating our food very much. Today he ate his avocado for breakfast - taken 2 slice! Happily munching away... 

1 Year 1 Month 5 Days old

I'm not Ready

Emotionally Torturing again :( I have not been sleeping very well for the past one week because there are too many things in my head - Worries! I had many dreams this week, nothing special just dreams (well i usually have no dreams). Many things happen this week too, things are seriously not smooth for me as i seriously cannot control my own thoughts and feelings when everything is not ready before i go back to work. Deep inside my heart, i seriously thank everyone who had helped me with my kids but the same situation of 6 months ago is going to replay again. I'm so worried and unhappy because I anticipate the same unhappy events will happen once again. In my life, I told myself and make sure same mistake CANNOT happen twice, but somehow in this matter i have no control over it and I feel so helpless that i need to open my eyes and see it happening again. Sometimes human really have no choice but to see the same sad event keep on repeating itself again and again, we human has to go thru the sadness again and again. I just want to say, sometimes we have no control over it and i feel extremely depress now. 

I just called the agency, she told me actually my application for the maid has not approved. Last week she told me approved this week told me have not approved. I'm sending andrea to day care, i hope she will be alright there and make no fuss. I hope work will not be too burden for me when I'm back. I hope ben will not make his grandparents unhappy. I hope i can be strong to handle work and house once again without breaking down. Why i feel my shoulder is so heavy? Why i can't think positive for now, the scar is just a scar, even is really deep, i can choose to ignore it, just don't look at that ugly scar that i have, MOVE ON! I need some lights, show me lights, please pick me up my guardian angels. I'm lost again .... 

Concert Day - 28 Nov 2010

Andrea was looking forward to her concert day, everyday at home she would practice the songs and dance. Besides, she has been repeating this to hubby and I before the concert:

1. Telling daddy: Bring me to school early if not the bus will go without me (but actually parents have to fetch her to the USJ auditorium, dunno why she say bus taking her there)

2. Telling mummy: I will ask teacher where you, daddy, mama and kung kung will sit (actually i already know it's free sitting)

3. Telling mummy: Teacher said i have to put make up, so i will use your lipstick and blusher OK?

4. Telling mummy: This time shawn is the leader, i'm the second leader.

In the morning she had violin class, during the class she cannot concentrate, keeps making funny faces and tell me later she is going to perform. After class ended, we drove home and she only took 10 min to finish her lunch, usually she took about 1 hour to finish. After shower i asked her to wear house clothes 1st, when going out only put on the costume, she said OK, then we make up 1st. lol .... anyway, i told her to wait as i need to shower ben and myself, after i've done everything then only i put on make up for her and change her into the costume. She is in super jolly mood before the concert.

When we've arrived there, i send her to the backstage and teacher gather them. All children were so colorful, they look so pretty. Anyway, i enjoy the concert alot as the kids are so adorable, they made me laugh. Ben sleep thru the concert and i purposely wake him up for the closing when all of us need to stand up and dance to this song -> absolutely everybody :) I'm so proud of you andrea, Good Job!

Medication

I was charged RM157 again yesterday at a child specialist at puchong. I never thought of being charge this much because my initial intention was just to do ben's nebulizer because DSH is too far for me and i'm feeling really tired especially at night when the kids start to fuss. At DSH i only pay total RM20 for nebulizer and i never thought i have to pay 8 times more in a CLINIC. I just feel unfair, as the saying - the poor gets poorer and the rich gets richer. Many thinks hospital charge higher, honestly it's not and is very much cheaper than child specialist clinic. Moreover the medicine you get from the hospital has name on it, unlike the clinic they repack into plastic bottles and you do not even know what is the name of the medicine.  Well, i only go to clinic when it's off office hour or i have no choice to go. The last visit was charge at RM180 because andrea had high fever at 40.2 degrees! The charges is crazy! 
Note: I had a letter from DSH to do nebulizer anywhere, i don't understand why the doctor still want to see us and check on ben and give somemore medicine to ben. Anything happen is DSH fault because DSH dr. issue that letter! I just don't understand. 

I went to dr. musa never had bill more than RM50, if alot of medicine then is RM100 and below. I'm grateful that we meet dr. musa because we learn many basic things from him and he is not those type of doctor that scare you to death. He is andrea's and ben's paed when born at DSH, when they are born dr. told us about jaundice - when to bring the baby in (not yellow then immediately bring in). He always believe that human has the capacity to fight over bacteria/ virus, if it's out of control then only bring baby to him. Along the way, small little baby become small little kids, they all have their sickness on and off. Here is what he advise us to keep at home, we should treat our kids 1st, if out of control bring baby to him:

1. Paracetamol (fever below 38.5 degrees)

2. Voltaren (fever above 38.5 degrees)

3. Promethazine for cough and flu

4. Ventolin for cough and phglem

5. Sterimar for nose block (nose spray to clear the nasal airway)

6. Illiadin for nose decongestant (to stop runny nose)

I also use forehead cooler and thermometer when they have fever. If too hot only i sponge them - all over the body. Recently ben cough quite badly and i head the phlegm is quite bad, so i bring him to dr. musa. Indeed is bad, he refer us to chest physio so that the physiotherapist could teach me how to do patting on the chest and ben had to do phlegm suction. Hence now i learn another technique - always after nebulizer (when the lungs air way is big), we need to follow by patting on the chest to loosen the phlegm, so they can swallow it. According to them, kids from age 0-3 does not know how to spit their phlegm. 

I just hope doctors could show more love because not only the kids are suffering from long waiting queue, their parents are also very tired when their kids are ill (emotionally and physically). We need doctors badly when we are not well, please don't use this as a weapon to attack us when we are most vulnerable. Show some mercy because one day you have your own kid as well, what goes around comes around. God Bless. 

my entertainer

Both my kids are my clowns :) I felt sad yesterday and went emotional because of hubby, ben came and use his index finger to poke my tears and look into my eyes and laugh "hee hee hee" a few times. I don't know why he find it funny and i laugh too, then andrea came and pretend to laugh vigorously out of nothing. That is contagious, so i laugh at her and all of us laugh. How Silly and happy in the end can be. 

Andrea loves to open her eyes wide and start swaying her head + hands waving infront of her face (don't know who taught her, but never fail to make me laugh), loves to laugh out loud out of nothing, loves to make something fall so benjamin will laugh, loves to purposely do something wrong to make mummy and daddy laugh, andrea laugh at her own mistake and all of us will laugh too, loves to jump jump jump when happy and will come and smile at you + eye squint out of sudden. Beside being cranky sometimes, she is actually very adorable. 

Ben loves to smile at you saying "hee (with his eye squint)", kiss me on my lips before he go to sleep on his own (night time), wants you to chase him if you call him to wash his buttock in the morning and call him to change his pajamas (he will look into your eye and start to run away) - when you catch him, he will laugh out loud, start to call daddy when wants daddy to carry in the morning (when daddy and andrea go to school). 

Rob Wealth Profile

1. They are charismatic, captivating types who inspire, persuade and motivate people to rally around them and is very effective and personable leaders. They desires togetherness and bring together communities. They will connect with people at an emotional level where they can influence and inspire others to do certain things and take action. They are the one who create opportunities and are off and running to capitalize on it. They are tough, no-nonsense go-getters, strong ambition (don't like to lose), drive to succeed and risk taker in trading. Healthy RW can parlay this strength into wealth attainment. 

2. Manipulative and devious - put other people in place in order for them to get what they want (gain admirers and making acquaintances). RW profiles are adept at putting on masks and facades to behave differently around different people (sometimes cannot manage own changing feelings). Their emotions are meant for external audience, all about external world - put on a show.  However they don't tend to do this consciously as it is more of a subconscious manifestation. They are capable of withholding certain information and facts from others because they have an irrational fear that they will be pushed aside. 

3. Extreme in terms of love and hate. Confuse. Is deeply conflicting on the inside because of many different masks they wear, their selfhood is not in one whole piece, they might not know which piece goes where, and how all the pieces fit in place and fall together. The need to be wanted. The deep desire to be wanted, respected and adored for who they are. They need audience. They will not show that they need love and attention. In fact, they maintain a brazen, confident facade while crying out for love from the inside. Value freedom and hates dependency, but at the same time needs people for love and affection

4. Resilient. Is extremely adaptable to harsh situations, simply altering their game plan and continuing along on their merry way. Quick. They have quick reflexes and are able to pick up things very quickly. They think on their feet and respond fast. Proactive. They go out and make their own opportunities and possess great amounts of drive and initiative. Inspirational. They are very moving and encouraging, they like to speak to people's hearts. Entertaining. Enjoys a good laugh and life of the party. Loyal. Likes to have a group of friends at their side, may put friends ahead of partner/ spouse. 

5. Envious. They are so focused on success, they don't pay as much attention to an internal barometer as much as they do to an external one, even if their paths are entirely different. Covert. they have hidden agenda (pretty harmless) that they don't want others to know of. They never lay it all out on a table. Stubborn. Extravagant. Often troubled by money issues, they can't ever seem to manage it. Argumentative. Stubborn or simply want to be acknowledged that they are right. Smooth-talker. Evasive. Avoiding talk about feelings and problems while in relationships. Insecure. Afraid of losing their friends - audience. 

6. RW profile under pressure. Aggressive. become quite violent or be very belligerent in manner and will not step aside without a loud argument. Sensitive. they often crafted a false sense of self based on illusions of grandeur, if they feel this sense of self is about to be threatened, they can become extremely sensitive and prickly. Ruthless. They can resort to unconventional means to achieve their own goals, possibly at the expense of others. 

Christmas Tree

My ever first Christmas tree! It's fun looking at my kids decorating it. Well, most of the work of course was done by hubby :) Andrea busy putting up her santa, reindeer and candy cane (she choose those herself) and ben busy helping daddy to put up the balls and calling 'Eehh" + pointing with his index finger (asking daddy to put it HERE). Of course, in the middle of the process fighting between the kids is inevitable, both of them fight over the balls and in the end, balls are everywhere and I have to pick up their mess (as usual). 2 hours later? Ben removing the decorations from the tree. Daddy went insane, lol! Well, maybe 1 day later, my Christmas tree will become bare at the bottom due to ben's curiosity and having fun pulling all of it off the tree. Andrea? as usual showing anger towards ben by bouncing all my Christmas balls on the floor, when ben touched her santa/ reindeer/ candy cane, accompany by crazy wailing. At night, all of us enjoy watching this tree in a quiet and calm atmosphere. MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

phlegm suction

Ben's phlegm getting worst i heard this morning, without hesitation i brought him to doctor musa. He did not check on ben's throat nor fever. He only listen to his lungs and asked me what medicine i fed him, later he suggest chest physiotherapy and indicate that we might need phlegm suction (depends on physio advise). I don't know why it's so bad this time, he only cough for 5 days :( The suction process made me worry about my boy - he is being wrapped and screaming non-stop + moving in pain i think. After the treatment the physio said still have a little bit but she cannot continue because ben seems very restless already. She suggest a few days later if still can hear thick phlegm, bring him back for another suction. Meanwhile at home i need to do patting and hopefully the phlegm will stop with the help of nebulizer.

Poor boy, andrea does not have to do suction last time, maybe because she is a master of vomiting! Vomit almost every night when she is young, cough few times then vomit already. I'm helpless to see him struggling just now. Sigh ... I don't know how when i go back to work in december. I just hope the part time will work out and i can stop working, both of my babies health is very bad. They are always sick, but this time was daddy brought back the virus.

Ben progress:

1. able to say "sssh' while holding his shoe, able to indicate he wants to go out by taking his shoe to us

2. will say 'eeee' (eat) when he wants to drink or eat whatever we are holding.

3. know how to hang the clothes, put the clothes on the hanger

4. don't like to be forced - eating/ playing/ drinking

5. likes to push the stroller when we are out shopping

6. can kick a ball

7. eat everything that we eat - including eggs

8. Can understand all instruction - drink water, finish it (food), take your jumpsuit, go take bath (will walk to bathroom), come here, give it back to me, don't fight, etc

1 year 3 weeks 3 days old

Random

My Direct Officer is ding fire. Hence, all my teachers, boss and husband are people who wants to enlighten me always, whether i like it or not. especially my boss, no matter how hurting speech i have, they still wants to teach me something in life - valuable lessons. All male boss except for 2 female boss that i had last time and the current one, female boss only gave me all the advantage i can have in life - learning Business Controls from zero (where this role must have experience due to the complex auditing skills) and having unpaid leave for 6 months, Why male boss? because ding fire is opposite pole as oppose to my day master. I must thank my mum who delivers me on a good day - i have nobleman on my hour pillar (results/ desire). Everything i want - i mostly get it - say 80%. Only this year i had heaven and earth clashed so noblemen is now temporary dead. 

Gosh! I'm focusing too much on my life and i shall start marching - concrete action! My Eating God is still being clashed, that's why all the negative EG is surrounding me. Good news is that, my desire to play games has tremendously reduced! Now i still have EG problem of having clouds in my head, focusing too much on why life like this and that, still building castle in the air. Feel like slapping myself - and my EG.

Back to my ding fire, my yoga teacher was sharing her experience from her 心灵 class:

-> why are we born in this life? 

answer shared: to solve problem we have in this life, if we don't solve it, when re-born we will face the same problem. life is like video game - say we have level 1-10. If you can finish and win level 10 meaning you are already at buddha state, so you will not be re-born. [to me it sounds like absolute happiness]

-> how can we solve the problem in this life?

answer shared: we must have LOVE and 宽诉 (forgiveness i think), to overcome all problem. 

I think it's a good piece for entry level people. All these advise are very dependable on affinity. I just read friend profile - they hate people telling them their flaw and they choose ignorance if they know their flaw/ problem. So ... having the heart to help people really depends on affinity and i hope everyone will obtain their absolute happiness someday in this life time. God Bless. 

Sick

Everyone fell sick! 1st was hubby, he gotten the flu virus from his colleague and then pass it to me, andrea and ben. Its so awful ... i didn't have enough rest to get recovered and i have to wake up several times at night to measure their temperature. 

I freak out when andrea's temperature shoot up to 40.3 degrees last Tuesday night at 6-7pm. Luckily mum was there, at least i have some comfort when i'm feeling worried. This is the 1st time in her life to have such high temperature. We fed her paracetamol at 7pm (temperature at 39.2), arrived at the clinic at 7.30pm (temperature at 40.3), quickly buy forehead cooler, sponging and insert voltaron while waiting for her turn to see doctor. While waiting mum and I did the 'tui na' for fever, 400 times, luckily that we have 2 person and we take turns, hand is really tiring for 400 times! about 30min later our turn, temperature drop to 38.6. Such a relieve! Ben also took some medicine, total bill RM180! I never feel anything previously because all claimable, now i feel a pinch!

Today andrea is still having mild fever at 38+ degrees. Doctor said is the second time virus attack and have given us antibiotic. However we did not feed her that yet, i don't know if i shall feed her. If this continue tomorrow, i will need to bring her to dr. musa. Ben on the other hand also having mild fever at >37.5+. I pray that both of my kids will recover soon. 

Eating God Profile

1. Impractical with their head in the clouds. When unhealthy, all that is good becomes weakness. They become dreamer instead of translating into concrete plans of action - building castle in the air (unrealistic). They do not consider certain matters as priorities, overlook those things because they have trouble differentiating between what they "need to do" and what they "want to do".

2. EG profile likes to read and discover new things, try things at least once. They consider learning as essential part of human growth. Enjoy pleasures of life - joys of food, wine and song is something they love to indulge in with the right company. When unhealthy, they tend to over-indulge (pleasure seeking activities) simply to block out the unhappy or negative aspects of life. Hence becomes addicted to these pleasures as means of staving off the encroaching realities of life.

3. Hidden Nature. (i) Anxious and troubled. The significant one's are fear of not being taken seriously and being misunderstood (ii) Afraid of being bored or stuck. It's important to them that other people perceive them to be endlessly-fascinating, endlessly-occupied busy bees. Is impatient for something more and hate being tied down [commitment-phobic]. (iii) Fake optimism. Feels that sadness is a sign of failure, hence unable to share their true state of mind with others, they compelled to keep their spirits up and put on a bright face for the world - and only they know that this vision of delight is only just an empty shell.

4. Restless. Their thoughts are scattered all over the place, they can appear focused but inside their thoughts are spiraling off in a million different directions. Eccentric. They hate to be dictated to by "should", don't really care what the prevalent customs or notions are or what other people think. Critical and judgmental. They have an inflated set of expectations that they want other people to fulfill, not realizing that they need to re-examine their own expectations.

5. Social. Courteous. They are very cordial and committed to cultivating graciousness, courtesy and respect. They are elegant and understand the need for civilities as a way of getting along. They will not raise their voice at a waiter who got the order wrong, or call them by snapping their fingers. Irresponsible. Unhealthy, If their responsibility weigh heavy, they quick to dispose of these responsibility and take off. They will start looking for ways and methods of escape.

Shichida - Ben, Oct 2010

I feel bad for not updating ben's shichida progress for so long, i did not update the communication book as well. Gosh, is it the teacher? is it that ben does not show interest in class? or is it just me, expecting too much from ben or is it because i'm so tired physically? I don't know the reason .. I think combination of all.

1. Ben's first term was good, he enjoys all the songs - I like, Good Morning, AIUEO, Abacus, Good afternoon (japanese), and Good bye (japanese). I used to sing to him at home but right now when i sing, his eyes does not sparkle like last time. I guess he's bored with all these. New term sensei did not sing any new song :(
2. 2nd term sensei changed to an Indian sensei, ben always shake his head when sensei ask him to - shake hands, if he wants 'this' or 'that', or ask ben if he wants to sing song? I feel that he does not like this sensei as much. Or maybe he knows this is Indian sensei so have to shake his head when he means YES? No Clue
3. Ben does not sit still in class, not like andrea. Ben walk around the class and climb under the table 70% of his time in the class. I'm so tired carrying him and asking him to 'stop' & 'come back'. In our class there are 2 girls and 4 boys, 3 boys including ben behaves the same. All the girls so so good like andrea last time.
4. I just hope ben will start to enjoy his class next year, when he is older. I don't know if i shall continue when he shows no interest in class at all. I'm so demotivated!

SV - 14nov2010

Andrea has good mood today, we arrived just on the dot and while walking up the stairs she told me today she will not cry. I said: that's my girl! Teacher was very kind to andrea today, he'd praised andrea xn times! I lost count - he likes andrea's way of holding her how, likes her when she sing the loudest among all, likes her when she said 'ohm' the loudest and when she shouted "scroll" when teacher asked the class what's this. This teacher praise the kid alot and i like the way how he teaches children, very shichida like :) The teacher told me, this is what violin class is, it's all about praising! I'm really lucky, so shall i say it's andrea's luck to always have good teachers to teach and cultivate her. 

Today's class:

1. Exercise

2. play on D and A (new) string + say "ohm" when rest

3. learn new names (parts) of the violin + revision of the old 

4. Twinkle Twinkle little star:

var.A - Mississippi stop stop

var.B - Rossin ohm bow

var.C - Strawberry Rasberry

var.D - Tri-o-la

var.E - Kuala Lumpur Peanut Butter

As andrea's rhythm play still needs to improve, I practice singing with her daily at home and today she really enjoy singing where teacher is so surprise! For the rhythm play, i've tried many - clapping hands, hitting sticks and castanets. All cannot help me to get andrea to play the rhythm out. I asked teacher for advise, he said it will come naturally. All andrea needs to do is SING and she will play it when she is ready! OK, i will wait and see :)

as smooth as silk

Happened Yesterday:

1. Received an invitation to attend friend's son's birthday party in Dec. It's time for gathering again! 

2. Went to carrefour, went in without a trolley (5 tollyjoy + 2 pediasure is very HEAVY!) ... used visualization that i will see one trolley for me .... because it's still early (10am) i see no trolley left behind - increased concentration of visualizing .... 2 min later SAW one vacant trolley near frozen food. I hope i did not steal it from someone :p 

3. Went to pick andrea up, my head told me go and pick andrea up 1st - i follow my feelings because i was in between to go buy McD or pick andrea up 1st. After that go McD at centre point - CLOSED down for renovation! I was feeling hungry .... I asked andrea if she has any food in her bag ... all those i have packed for her the day before is still in her bag! So i eat my own food (intend for me to eat instead of andrea, lol)

4. First time this year, after 20min nap in the car, andrea still continue to sleep at home, despite having to walk herself up to our unit. I consider myself lucky, because i can catch some afternoon nap :) 

5. boiling fish stock, no GAS! I called the man he told me he will try his best because his lorry broke down the mechanics said tomorrow only ready. However he said he will find ways and cannot promise he can send today. I have a feeling he can make it, so i hung up the phone without further probing. 1 hr later he is here. I asked him his lorry repaired? he said he borrow small lorry from the mechanics, one time can carry 3 gas only. Respect his determination - he told me he have 30 customer to send .. means have to go back and forth 10 times! :s

6. Mum made the trouble to ask dad to fetch me to KLCC and my dad said yes. Feel so much love from my parents. 

7. Ben had his 9pm feed until now 6.10am - did not make a sound! I really hope he can sleep thru the night  or at least 5 hours straight sleep for me. 

8. Thanks to the anonymous, i felt so refresh and feeling happy after sharing my thoughts yesterday. 

Yoga

Join the Yoga opposite my house today. What's the difference between yoga centre and those at the shop lot?

1. Price of course

2. Facilities

3. Teacher (I feel more personal touch with this one)

Of course i enjoy going to the club or the centre because i can enjoy their facilities, somehow right now i do not have the privilege to enjoy like last time. All i need is to find a good teacher that can fix my pains and find out my root cause, I hope this teacher can help me. I give myself a time frame of three months with this teacher.

This teacher said my nike yoga mat is too thin and request me to use a thicker one which cost me RM90! I dun feel like buying ... will see how next week ... maybe i use 2 nike mat! They did head stand today... so dangerous ... I will not do it until my dizziness go off completely. I felt dizzy after 15 min of yoga ... Teacher said if she knows i have the neck problem she will ask me to do variation for the warrior post. Aiyoh ... dizzy for 30min! Thanks to the aunty bring me sweets from outside when i was feeling dizzy, they thought i've got not enough sugar in my body.

Free Again

I feel so free when i ditch that massage lady, massage suppose to be enjoyable but it turn out to be very awful, not only i've experienced pain all over my body and also the idiot lady thought i was Stupid. She told me that the taxi fare from kuchai lama to bukit jalil is RM10 - this one i can confirm she bluff me, the other incident she told me from her place cheras to nearest LRT is RM10, well i confirm with my friend she said around there (so i was OK). 2 times she asked me to drop her at bukit jalil where it's so damn jam because the bus station is there now, crazy jam at all hours. 2 times also asked me to fetch her to buy breakfast. I wish her luck in her undertakings. I pray i will not see her again. I dare to say she is a strong yi wood day master, if not yi wood is dominant in her chart. maybe 7K is dominant too without EG. I'm sure she has nobleman this year because she do business - customer go fetch her and bring her back. Have you seen such good luck people? There you have it .. Happy for her but stay away from me. Thanks

I went pathlab for blood test this morning, will be getting the results this friday. Honestly i feel scared because i think i have some unknown illness :( pain all over the body and always headache.. fingers crossed! Later on i went for a facial in 1 utama, i thought let them massage my neck a little would help, well it does a little i guess. I was OK after the facial until now only felt a little stiffness, need to stretch again later. I signed up for their program again! lol, i feel so mm dai to donate money to that idiot massage lady, now i have to make my money worth by signing up with leonard drake! Their service now is better than last time and i feel RM258 is really expensive for one time, so i signed up the package, at least i can get some discount. After facial i go pick andrea up and pay for her Nov & Dec school fees, i asked the principal why dec no class i still have to pay, he said dec they need to train the teachers so we need to pay. I'm not sure other kindy is paying when they don't go to school in Dec. So weird

I came back and did ironing and now on the computer. I'm so happy that i have my time back! Thank You

John Walker Tuning Fork

Searched online and found out that John Walker is one of the famous tuning fork in the world in terms of their quality. Hence, i asked Tweedle Wink about the latest price and got to know it's RM800+ which is still cheaper due to the shipping cost. I asked one of my friend's help and she got me member price and i pay for RM700. Great Savings! Happy :) Thanks so much!

I sent ben to tweedle wink for 2 terms (6 months), I like their tuning forks and also rhythm play with sticks. Shichida do not have those, hence for andrea to pick up musics is abit hard i guess. At 3 year old, andrea cannot follow the rhythm i play (5 claps). However she loves singing and now absolutely love her violin. I just hope she can continue without any hiccups, so i need to do some basic music home practice with her.

To train perfect pitch (well, some say perfect pitch is in-born) I bought this kit as i don't send my kids to tweedle wink anymore. I hope both of them will listen and can sing the note correctly, unlike me .. i listen but when sing - all out of tune! lol .. that's the reason why i cannot progress to grade 7 for piano. I hope their music journey will be an enjoyable one.

SV - 7nov2010

We were 10 min late for the class today, andrea was feeling sleepy and cranky. I tried to be on happy mood and bring her to the mood of learning. I failed for the first 10 min until i gave up and tell her i will not come again next week if she sit on the chair for the whole class and do not want to participate. Later she look at me and say: "mummy, i go back and bow for you to see later." i said: "don't bow to me, show teacher, not me". Suddenly her battery recharged! Teacher asked if she wants to go to the stage perform, she said. "YES", then bring her violin and bow which is on the chair up to the stage ALONE. Usually it's 2-by-2. So she did the Solo on stage. Amazing! haha.. My girl is actually very brave

Today class:

1. Learn violin and bow name (parts)

2. Play D string with bow

3. Sing with the note name

4. Introduction of twinkle twinkle little star

Here is a clip that they perform on stage in a group. (i missed the one she done alone). 

1.Good rest position (bow with leg close and violin hold correctly

2.Good play position, remember to step one leg forward and hold the violin correctly

Headache

I feel extremely tired due to the headache that i'm still having. I have done all that i can (exercise, ultrasound, hotpad etc), i thought the massage can help but it can't, now it has gone worst ... I'm going back to the basic exercise that my sister and mum taught me. The recovery is not there yet, but it can only take away 50% of the pain - well it's good enough for the time being because i find no cure! The last resort is to contact my reiki master for another attunement so i can heal myself once again. The other wish will be my maid - i hope she can arrive as soon as possible so i have one more person to carry my boy. Going back to work is not as exciting, i feel really lazy now after 6 months, haha.. honestly i have not get enough rest, I'm so tired everyday .. getting up at 6.30am everyday including weekends, 2 times waking up in the middle of the night and carrying my boy despite the sore-muscle that never been healed for past 1 year. The sore-muscle on the arm for a few months, then leads to my shoulder back, then my shoulder blade and now my head. hence my arm-shoulder-head is now in terrible injury, i don't know if it will ever heal. 

I told andrea, I feel extremely tired and wants to rest. I told her if mummy dead don't be sad OK? I will be always in your heart. My girl then say: "OK, i will take care of benjamin, daddy and myself." I was shock! Later she asked me, where will i go if Im dead, i said heaven. Then she ask me why heaven, i said only heaven got playground, so i will be happy there. After that she gave me a hug and a kiss, she said: "mummy, i hug and kiss you, so u are not tired and headache anymore. Don't die OK?" So sweet ... I seriously felt that i will die anytime. I always have blur vision and my blood cannot clog, maybe got diabetes also. Seriously need to do blood test! 

Ben - 1 yr 6 days old

Ben had his MMR & Varicella jab today. Had PD checked on his bulging forehead, thank god that PD said is normal. besides, PD also advised me to apply moisturizing cream for ben's ear, as he had checked inside was OK. Today's visit was great as the kids did not fuss much. Andrea also went to had her eyebrow checked - eczema and influenza jab. PD prescribe the moisturizing cream (QV) for her and ben will share share QV cream with her.

weight = 8.0 kg

Height = 74cm

Ben is drinking at least 18oz in 24 hours and is taking 2 times of solid. I don't know if i shall increase it, will see his growth and poo. Ben is able to walk steadily now - with shoes on as well. Ben likes to imitate people:

1. he knows how to open and close the DVD player and also remove the DVD from the player

2. he knows how to help us to keep the toys when he saw his sister doing it at night

3. he wants to eat everything that andrea eats

4. he knows a pillow is for hugging and sleeping, i caught him took andrea's pillow and put it on the floor 1st then his head on the pillow. This morning he took my small pillow and did the same

5. he tried to close our sliding door and he is able to open it alittle

SV - 31oct2010

Now i have added another responsibility to myself for making sure andrea's music lesson is a successful one. Initially I've thought of just trying out the free lesson that hubby's supplier offered to him, i did not know it's suzuki method and don't even know andrea loves it that much! Before going to class, we talk to her about violin and hubby showed her some violin video from youtube. After class, i said: "keep the violin, you need to return it." Andrea reply: "no mummy, i want to keep it, i like it very much!"Oh.. since it's suzuki method and the class seems lively, we agree to let andrea enroll. 

Andrea does not seems to be VERY patient, she just want to use the bow to play - regardless holding it correctly or not. At class, she seems observant and seems very interested. She is able to follow instruction. Now i need to work on her patient, learn everything in a proper way then only play the violin using the bow. 

Teacher taught:

1. Exercise - bouncing both knees, both hands swing cris-cross, wrist 

2. How to take a bow

3. Rest Position and Play Position

4. How to hold the violin and Bow

5. Sing the tune with note name and rhythm practice (hit the floor and lap)

This is the 3rd class for all other children, hence i think it's too overwhelming for andrea. Too much new things for her to absorb for her 1st lesson. I need to practice it with her at home