As per Wiki:
Spirituality can refer to an ultimate or immaterial reality; an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of their being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.” Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individual's inner life; such practices often lead to an experience of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm. Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life. It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world.
I hope i will not become a monk after this, lol. All i want is to get emotional stability and to live a peaceful life. Inevitable that human will have some desire-pull based on our bazi and i do really enjoy my luxury life as per my bazi, i hope i will not give that up in the end of the day. I'm actually born with a good chart despite having emotional problem where i always feel people purposely 'harm' me, in actual fact i gave in to that and in turn i harm myself eventually. I know my root cause but without going into spiritual, i cannot cut out the root - I learn and been in there and i know this is the only cure for myself.
I had a dream last week, someone played a song in my dream and i don't like it, hence i ask the person standing next to me, what song is that. He told me Kundalini. I just kept quiet and walk away as i know kindalini is 'Qi' in Indian (at that time but it meant alot more than that) and they may have their own song to achieve alpha wave state. When I'm in office, suddenly i feel the urge to google kundalini, to find out more. There is one precious website that i have found it gave me confirmation and learn alot more about spirituality. I am grateful i had that dream and I'm not sure why i don't like the song instead of loving it wholeheartedly, maybe i still have alot of anger inside me or my innerself told me that I'm still feeling insecure of this journey. Whatever it is, I will continue to meditate and remove the negative energy according to my bazi.
According to Mystress (the author of the web page), some people was a witch past life and i think i was on a journey to become goddess but don't know why cannot achieve. and is being re-born. I have this giving heart that I want to share everything that i have and i feel upset when people does not appreciate it, the Goddess also will do the same when people meditating and asking for help, they will HELP no matter what. At one point i was telling myself to stop being so foolish but after reading this web page, i know i have quality that many human beings does not have or simply hard for them to do it. Many says i have good life, or tell me that I have better life than them but i always shut my ears because they are bullshitting at that time because i was too bog down with my emotional issue. Right now when i look in different perspective I'm actually very lucky to have good childhood, wise parents to teach me, have the money for many experience and learning and luxury stuff, hubby who does not react to my anger, high pay job (i know i complain but it's quite high compare to the work i need to do) and right now learning about spiritual. I thank the divine power for all these and i will continue to give whenever i can.
It's year end and i usually have 10 items for next year resolution, this year i only have 1. Have faith in meditating and I will get all - everything i wished for. I feel really happy, maybe because i found my HOME. I don't know, it's just a feeling :) I always tell myself, i cannot be a monk this life - i don't know why i have a feeling i will become a monk very soon! GOSH! I DON"T WANT!
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