The IQ genius 1 block

I'm very proud of andrea that she has almost finish the IQ Genius 1 block - another 4 more puzzles to go. I would say IQ genius 2 block is easier, this one has to twist and turn the block to get the matching picture on the book, hence i did not create any reward for this. Andrea only play when she feels like it. On the other hand, IQ genius 1 block is more to intuition i feel and of course have to use the brain to see if it fits or not. It comes in 4 levels, Level 4 is really tough, even myself have to spend alittle longer to get it done. Well, if i'm calm or after meditation, i can just pick up any and put on the shape easily without 1 minute to complete. I'm really amaze that andrea took less than a month to finish (well almost) 4 levels = 88 puzzles. After this one, I may want to buy the 3D blocks - want to stimulate my brain too ... 

with this IQ genius block - she had learnt:

1. to be patient - trial and error most of the time

2. never give up spirit - at times i will say, let me help you and she push me away

3. feel a sense of accomplishment - call me very loudly when she is able to get it, I will then give her sticker (for each puzzles she completed)

4. learn to multitask - she can watch TV, talk to me and sing when she is doing this

5. to finish up the puzzles, she will ask me for the blocks when she arrived home. I do not need to ask her to do it. she ask me for it :) 

LOVES dancing, ask me 2 times last week to bring her to giant - grandparents had showed her a ballet dance class few months back. Still thinking, don't feel like going - i do not have my own leisure time during weekends! Will think about it after her 4 year old party. 

3 years 9 months 1 week old

Violin Pitch

Andrea has been attending suzuki violin for nearly 5 months now. I can see alot of improvement because she is able to play twinkle variation with the correct pitch on the violin. However, the violin that she is having now does not give the perfect pitch that i want. 

When 1st started, no one tells me about good violin because, the centre just throw me a china mass produce violin that cost close to RM300. I thought it was a decent one because it's not that cheap afterall. I did not google about quality of violin as well because no one tells me that quality is important for a beginner. The teacher too did not emphasize on good violin, more over my friend (suzuki piano teacher) told me that suzuki violin kids do not use real violin when 1st started. So I did not care much about the quality/ pitch until recently. 

Tweedle wink use tuning fork to train the kid's perfect pitch (i know it cos ben attended TW for 6 months), I felt something was not right when the teacher did not comment on andrea's violin and always he just 'simply' tune for her, and i still feel it's out of tune. Last week i confronted the teacher, he then told me he emphasize 80% on the sound and told me he will get me another violin from elsewhere. WHAT?! If i did not comment then he will just leave his student like that?! 

Andrea has been practicing, and if you read my previous post about suzuki violin, she gets demotivated a few times, I guess she too cannot get the pitch that she wanted by pressing on the string, hence she got frustrated. Kids are born with perfect pitch, if not it can be trained. Kids are so sensitive with sound, how can the violin teacher not emphasize on perfect pitch produce by the violin?! GOSH!! It might be hard, but music centre - you shall sell some good quality violin too, give me a choice. Andrea practices yesterday night again (without me asking her), you can see that she is now on intermediate level, the way she play - she is feeling it with her bow. It's amazing, she is into the songs that she is playing. GOD, pls give andrea a good violin. Guide me. Thanks you. 

Reflection

Past few days i was feeling down because i've set myself some new goals and i was feeling so impatient because i see no opportunities, idea or people attracting to me - show me the way to my goal. Today i received a few good news and it has broaden my view on my new personal goals. Everything in this universe is inter-connected, one of the new goal may not be manifested with my own effort - although i really like it to be coming from me ONLY because i told myself i'm powerful, centered and loving. I can handle everything myself, I'm not the old me who is very very dependent when comes to things that needs lots of effort.

However, I'm sure I've set the bar too high and hence, what is coming/ attracting to me seems logical and i trust, interconnectedness. Keep connecting to me, I have not lost my patient yet, I will just keep on focusing the sign that you will be sending it to me and will definitely work on it. In the mean time, i will breathe in the Future, breathe out the PAST. I concentrate now - the present and I trust all that i have listed will be manifested in a years time! 

Guess what. I'm still not over with international school for andrea. I actually think of taking my money for her and try it out for 1-2 years before entering standard 1 at age 7. I'm very caution with myself, i always remember what my dad says. Are you going to show off or what, you better tell yourself that you can earn this much. Don't use my money to buy all those expensive things to show off. When i want to spend on expensive things i always ask myself, is that what i want? to show off? The answer is always NO and clearly my dad do not know her daughter well. I don't blame him because i found out about myself only after knowing how to read bazi. My day pillar is the worst that someone can have if they are poor/ broke, luckily my month pillar has wealth star penetrating heaven & earth. If not i will suffer because my day pillar is to enjoy luxury in life and to experience the finer things in life. Back to international school, my neighbor even comment : "you are just donating your money to them!" I was so shock when she said that to me, later on found out that she and the husband are local graduate. Just like the poor wanted to condemn the rich, if they have been there - be rich before - i respect the comment. If they have not been there and done that, i forgive their shallow comment. I'm not from international school either, but i studied in taylors college and spend my 1st, 2nd and 3rd year in the UK. I know how life is and how the teacher quality is   well i must admit not all teachers are good. The bottom line is experience of being a student that is important. Young children, do they need it? I think so, but other think otherwise. For me i need to think financially, lol! Get over it dude, concentrate on the PRESENT!

I've got promoted! :p 

3yrs working experience = 3K

4yrs working experience = 4K

5yrs working experience = 5K

6yrs working experience = 6K

Start giving your subconscious mind a goal. It will manifest itself. All of us deserve a miracle life. May abundance be with you .....

cooking rice

Benjamin is now eating rice (soft ones). This week, instead of cooking everything in one pot, i fry the ingredients separately. Andrea too eat the same with benjamin as she is still a very small eater. 

Saturday - Boiled pumpkin & apples soup. This serve as the base for cooking the rice. Afternoon had fried egg, long beans & meat. Night had stir fried ginger & onion meat with long beans. 

Sunday - Boiled corn soup. This serve as the base for cooking the rice. Lunch & Dinner stir fried broccoli, meat, mushroom and long beans. 

My face cannot stand the heat, yesterday after cooking my face feels warm for hours despite having wash after cooking. Sunday hence will only cook once and heat up at night. Having done all these, my kids still do not eat as fast and much as i like. I have spent sometime looking and thinking what to cook during the weekend and looking at their appetite really makes me disappointed. Andrea still eats very slowly and little. Ben on the other hand, do not know what had happen in my mum house, he seems reluctant to be fed if we sound forcing. I have asked andrea's help to feed him and at least 5 mouth andrea can feed. I'm curious, he still can eat but does not like adults to feed? With my burning face, i felt annoyed by them because they don't seems to enjoy my cooking. 

Shoe Spree

Hubby had shoe spree for the kids yesterday. It's very hard to get good shoes for the children especially we found those that is good previously but somehow we cannot find another one or the same one to replace the old one. For andrea only zara shoes and nike is suitable for her. zara can easily be replaced, however Nike Sunray Protect is not - this shoe is suitable for running and walking. Perfect for her to go to school. She has outgrown the old one and we can only buy online now. On the other hand, benjamin has tried many brands of shoes - clarks is one of the better ones but not all are suitable cos some were too heavy. Zara shoes always out of stock, yesterday we went and they have new stocks and all size were available! How lucky!  This is whats we have bought yesterday:

1) Nike Sunray Protect Pink for Andrea

2) Zara yellow flowery shoe for Andrea

3) 2 hello kitty slipper for Andrea (1 for hse, 1 for grandma hse)

4) Nike Sunray Protect Grey for Ben

5) Zara white shoe for Ben (one size bigger for keep)

6) Zara brown shoe for Ben

Crazy Shoes Weekend :)

16 months old

1. Say 'bao bao' & duck clearly, say 'ba' for ball, bubbles, balloon and bee boo (baby sign bear)
2. Say 'uh oh' clearly when something went wrong and still saying ish for finish, fish and shoe
3. Only andrea can feed him in order to finish his lunch/ dinner
4. cling on to me like glue whenever is at home - reject the maid
5. Loves to dance - especially i sing The Wiggles song
6. knows how to blow the bubbles from small holes
7. drinking adults fruit juice now
8. Sleep at 9-10pm at night, needs to be massaged if not carried
9. eating semi-rice, cooked vege soup and i will fry meat with vege or egg
10. bring his milk bottle out to the maid after finish his milk
11. say 'eeee' all the time on everything he does or wanted to tell us, he still refuse to talk. very very much slower compared to andrea :(
12. walk up and down the stair with no help - like independent toddler
13. likes to watch baby sign and pocoyo
14. can stack 5 blocks
15. Make no fuss when he's alone in the car (inside his car seat) without andrea

1 Year 4 months 3 weeks

Import old entries

I'm so happy that I've finally export and import all my old entries from the old blog into this one!! Anyway I have also changed the domain name to motherhoodstories. Why i do that? Simply because i find this name is more suitable and it fits what I'm feeling now :) The old entries are very important to me as it has all andrea's milestone in it and now i can easily access - to compare where ben stands. Apparently i did less things with ben and also his milestone seems quite stagnant recently! Need to do something about it ..... 

Still have some clean up to do and hope traffic will increase soon... my regular visitor [(that i do not know who) but i know them from which country and came from which site from "Stats" corner] might be shock because the old domain will tell them -> this blog has been deleted. Hope they can find me soon :p 

May want to change the photos or layout abit too .... 

toxic shame

I got this "toxic shame" key word during my SRT clearing and was wondering if it's true. I know i shall not doubt what KW had done for me, hence i try to forget about seeing this word. I even ask KW what does it mean? Means i have very very bad shame, it's says toxic! KW just responded yeah, toxic shame. I kept quiet because i thought to myself, maybe the highself got it wrong this time. 

You know what, a colleague of mine came to my desk and took my book (the millionaire mind) - look at the title and comment, oh you want to become a millionaire ar. Inside myself i want to tell her that it's about subconscious mind, title tell you about money but it can fix any area of your life - I didn't have a chance to speak. I don't know why these words did not come out from my mouth, then she continue - you should listen to this song "i want to become a billionaire" it's better than millionaire. 1stly, i'm glad that the words stuck at my throat that i did not explain about my intention to read this book (as above), 2ndly i feel TOXIC shame because i feel that she is making fun of me! I kept quiet all the way, in the end i said "I love that song too", then she left. I felt humiliated because i have not gotten a million yet and i fear that i cannot achieve it, hence i feel shameful when she asked if im learning to become a millionaire - she even suggest that i listen to "i want to become a billionaire song" which may bring me greater pool of money. I KNOW there is nothing to be ashamed of, but i felt it! I don't know WHY!

Another time i felt toxically shameful when my kung fu friends asked where I'm studying. I told them but none knows my school, they just ask where it is and turn away from me. I feel darn shameful - maybe that has entered my sub-conscious mind! I must change! I must be proud of whatever book im reading and i do not need to gain approval from anyone for reading that book! Same goes to every action I took! I'm Powerful, centered & loving in this area! toxic shame - you are now dissolves - replaced by JOY :)

my 2 cents

I have been reading a blog, about her life and also her determination of good parenting. I always love to read about other people's life (well, not all of them of course!) So far i've only hooked on to 2 blogs, 1 had never updated since the daughter turns 1 - she married to a men that has 'status', she has good taste - holiday, restaurant, clothes and good paying job, she is pretty and 2 years older than me.  Right now she is no longer with the husband and had a bf! But i still keh poh to 'know' about her life thru FB photos. 

The second blog i'm reading currently, of course a very determine mother with 2 sons. Women that has many sons denote that she is very emotionally independent. Read one of the article by Queen Elizabeth. I don't know if it's because of this or is my luck to get a boy last 2 years, however i did tried to be emotionally independent by not dependent too much on hubby (everything i needed) and needed his emotional security as much like have to call him when i was bored or text him when i have got nothing to do. Well, to me the theory seems true because people with more sons shows that they do not need their husband that much! lol.... 

Back to this blog. She was just like me, eagerly finding out the best teaching method for her kids and have written very good articles. I hook on her because i admire her to have such determination to compile all information (well, i admit this is secondary), she married to a rich husband - i guessed cos she's planning to send her kid to international school and will cost RM35K per year and she is not bad looking too. These 2 girls i admire and wanting to know their life style, it's like the feeling of admiring my kung fu friends who had a chance to study in international schools and can live a very different life as to compare to me. 

I am aware that i have subconsciously program to only admire people and i wonder why i have not get it myself. Of course i know my flaw now because i have read too much about the universe. I will not write what i want because the energy will dissipate when people starts to comment and critic about what you want. 

To me, i've gone one step further than this girl - parenting to me now has to do with subconscious mind. I was like her previously to find the best on earth for our kids but she is one step ahead of me because she is able to send her kids to international school and i'm still working on it. Love is so powerful that no one knows it can do wonders, my understanding of love has expanded so much that it can replace fear, anger and worries and gave me so much confident in everything i do. In shichida or glen doman - show love to your children, this really means to teach them spiritually so they can manage their fear, anger and worries in future. After 3 years of sending andrea to shichida, i now only understand LOVE after i've spent so much time to study and experience spirituality. 

Parenting Model

(a) Too firm, critical parent - unworthy, deflated child.

(b) Too loving, spoiling parent - Inflated ego, rebellious spoiled child.

(c) Firm but loving parent - well-adjusted, strong, loving, balance child. 

This - you apply to your OWN subconscious mind and also to your own children. They work the same. Shichida (video) says that, you are bless if you have a wise mother. This is SO TRUE after i've found out this parenting model and Shichida is really a wise man and he knows ALOT about the universe. You will be amaze how much things your parents SAY and DO went into your subconscious mind without you realizing. It's time to re-program your subconscious mind and help your children to get a healthy subconscious mind that will help him in his future success. 

How you know if you have negative stuff in your subconscious mind? Do you have problem with MONEY or RELATIONSHIP? Look at how your parents handled their MONEY and RELATIONSHIP when you were young? What are the things you have heard and saw them doing? Those went into your subconscious mind and cause you to fail in these area of your life. Let's work on this together, it's inevitable that we have these downloaded to our subconscious mind. May we achieve success. God Bless

Books

How many books had i read this far for 2011:

1. Soul Psychology by Joshua David Stone
Read this, was confuse and asked around who should i call upon for ascended master. My reiki Master ignored me, then i've got the answer myself from myself. It's good that KW ignore me so that i believe myself more and i would always seek answer inside instead of begging people for answer. Thanks so much. I learnt about psychology - traditional way and spiritual way, why traditional way cannot heal our root - this author is a psychologist. This book also gets really deep for me (for now i guess - may need to revisit) towards the end of the book - talks about rays and all
What i learnt:
a. negative ego invade our subconscious mind because we let it wonder and never take control of it.
b. To claim self power. We have 3 minds - Super conscious mind (spiritual mind) - Conscious mind (Reasoning Mind) - Subconscious mind (Non-reasoning mind) that balance our four bodies - spiritual, mental, emotional and physical
eg. Conscious mind is the gardener plant the seeds (thoughts) and the soil is (sub conscious mind) grows whatever kind of seed is planted. in the nutshell - talk to your subconscious mind, give it a goal with emotion of course - re-program it
c. other stuff is very much spiritual like self love, create golden protective bubble and provide some tools for healing emotions - meditation with lots of visualization
d. learnt about we have physical body, etheric body, astral body and other bodies which is too deep for me now. when meditate please ask yourself to clear away negative energy and replace it with love, seal and repair your etheric body. Only positive vibration can enter
e. Reminder to myself:  Reading too much and not meditating enough, wasting too much time watching TV, Needing to be liked, loved or approved of [Don't do these!]

I have then wrote a letter to my subconscious mind because i notice that i have not been giving goals or command to myself for such a long time, since i've given birth to andrea. I now have goal for my subconscious mind, 2-3 days later, i found the following book and surprisingly it's the best financial book i've ever read! It talks about MONEY and Subconscious mind! Anyway you can read this to apply to other areas of your life like relationships and health. It's the same principle. Thanks highself/ angels for leading me to pick up this book. I hope i could transform my life as i have goals for this lifetime too :)

2. Secrets of the millionaire mind by T.Harv Eker

SpR

Went to KW today, told him about my eye attack, he suggest that i should do SpR (Spiritual Restructuring) as well, he will give me free because he wanted me to fill up some form for him in order to get his certification. Well i paid RM100 extra to him by the end of the session, i believe everything you get in this life comes with a price. I believe in him and he gave me much comfort when i needed someone yesterday, he reply me fast enough, and gave me a slot this morning. Nothing more comfortable than this to soothe my emotion. 

What i felt? something removing from my left palm, what is it? I don't know, i ask KW he said he just let highself do the job. No past life story being told too, to me it's not important too, so i did not ask further, i just ask if any arrow or sword on my body and also did any of my body being chop off the past life. He said it's mainly psychic wound and some programs. Ahh.. i do not know if i will get another healing crisis this time. Will see what the next few days have in store for me, hope not serious - however i have a feeling it will be worst than the SRT clearing :( another thing to add, my brain cell got problem KW says... i don't know what it means - whatever it is, clear then good :) alot of things is out of my understand anyway. 


SRT took 1 hr, SpR took another hour. 2 hours in total. Exhausted! I was so sleepy and thirsty after the session. I hope it cleared for good. God Bless Me. 

Near Blind experience

I did not know i was so freaking scared when i was ALONE when it attacks me, it happened 2 years ago - it was at home. Hubby was with me, i was able to reach my mum on the phone and my maid was massaging me on my wrist, i cried at that time and worried that i would get blind BUT i did not tremble. Yesterday my hands and legs are trembling and my heartbeat is super fast - till my hold body trembles, i never had this experience ever in my life. I was so emotionally exhausted. 

Before i saw the light on my vision, i had light headed experience, i already feel not well, but i ignore cos i thought i ate too much. After lunch i have this urge wanted to go home, but i was telling myself that i was just feeling lazy so i stayed. At 3pm+, light headed came in, after 15 min i saw 10 cent big light, it was hollow and surrounding it with rainbow colour, the circle grew bigger and bigger until i cannot see anything, regardless my eyes was opening wide nor closing, i can see the bright hollow circle surrounding by rainbow colour. I was terrified, i didn't know what to do, i called hubby and he promise me that he will be there to take me to the hospital, hence i waited, my heart feels calm alittle but still trembling. I call to my angels and GOD, i told them to calm me down and tell myself that i will not get blind. I press on my heart so hard because it was beating so fast that i could not control, I also tell myself to give love to my heart - calm myself pls. I ignore the bright rainbow light that i'm seeing, i concentrate on my love energy channeling to my heart - all these happened for 30-45min and the lights on my vision are gone. Just like two years ago it went off by itself. 

I'm glad but still feeling dizzy but i now see, without the hollow circle rainbow. What had happen yesterday made me realised that im very afraid that i would get blind, and im too very afraid that any part of my body is not well. Maybe it's a hint to me i really need to take care of my body - eat good food, rest enough and meditate to calm myself - remove negative energy, repair & seal my etheric body. I don't know what's wrong with me, doctor said it happens to anyone but i don't think so. I will find out later this afternoon with KW. I hope i will get something insightful and cure it, once and for all. God Bless me. 

When will i set free?

I do not have my own time - going out with friends, shopping alone, watching movies and so on. I have to bring my kids along and have to stuff food in my mouth where i do not enjoy eating for the past 1 year (since benjamin is born), my weight is increasing due to bad digestion. I also suspect that I had die of hunger the previous lifetime, sometimes i just stuff food in my mouth without enjoying it. When i've finish my food, i would think to myself, why i even bother to eat at the first place since I do not enjoy eating! Not only this incident, when i was young my parents would say you eat how many fish ball, we cannot eat more if we love the food that is serve. When the food cannot be divided, i can see my other sister and me also stuffing food in the mouth without caring later we have an exploded tummy or not. Many times, me and my sister would over eat and EAT UNTIL CANNOT STAND UP! I guess me and my sister probably die of hunger in previous lifetime, how can we have such experience this lifetime! Need to cut this karmic cord! Terrible! 

Tomorrow hubby's friend is here in KL. He asked us for dinner, i would of course love to go, but what about my kids? :( I really do not enjoy bringing them out, especially to have dinner or lunch or whatever food related! Poor me have to stay at home. Well, i decided to stay at home lar, my parents have enough of the kids in the day i guess, my mum is aching everywhere now and andrea has been driving her up the wall, cos this week school holiday so andrea is there to make them crazy! I know i'm a super delegates, I do acknowledge that and i will only ask for help when i do really need my mum's help like attending classes. Having leisure to dine with friends? Maybe a few years more, when ben is more obedient. 

Weekends

Weekend can be very challenging, especially when ben is not feeling well, does not want to eat & poo :( I have many happy events to counter with! Stock up my Lamer cos isetan is having sale! I'm even more happier to use my voucher to buy 1 trolley FULL of groceries, actually one trolley also not enough cos i bought 5 packets of mamypoko! So CHEAP - RM8 cheaper per pack! VERY GOOD DEAL! Love it! 

The LED product is getting more excited, we are at design stage and will have to post up photos when our product arrived. I've got to design invitation card & survey card, need sometime as now I'm so busy with my work - COMPLIANCE testing! Won't be free until end of the month! Looking into spreadsheets full of numbers is torturing, however looking at denbulb numbers does not have that kind of feelings :) I have more patient towards own company than IBM - PROVEN! 

We got to eat Westin breakkie this weekend because andrea's violin off for 2 weeks!! We went to KLCC park after that and had buffet dinner at shangrila! It's a happy weekend because for a long long time we didn't go westin & KLCC park ever since andrea started violin. Benjamin look at me and say 'bao bao' the first time and it was extremely clear! I was so excited when he said that. 

Andrea did the IQ blocks herself, I've made the reward card - put sticker when she can fix those blocks by herself. Train her patient, it's tough initially, recently was OK abit, hence i create the reward card. I hope it work :) So far she has done about 10 combination. 50 more to go! 

Oh, i had my thinkpad back today, all fixed! I'm so happy. 

FOCUS!

wow, i do not know what happen to me, ONE word to describe me - unfocused!

1. Parked at the wrong bay. Hubby told me this morning and i was very surprised that i was so careless, not once in 5 years! The guard also never call me to re-park my car. Usually the guard will call me hundreds of time if we park at the car wash bay or one of my tire is at the other person's bay. 

2. I nearly kill a cat this morning after dropping andrea at school. I already saw this 2 cats playing at the road side but never anticipate that it will run across the street when i drove nearer! Scare me till death and I brake so hard but could not break completely cos it's too sudden, was expecting to feel the bump, but nothing happen. "phew"

3. I nearly kill my thinkpad (IBM laptop). Well, i don't know it will die (reformat) or not, but i send it to the helpdesk and it's still running. However after 1 1/2 hours it still cannot be fixed. It has to stay overnight, will only pick it up on monday. All because of the OSRAM LED page! I think i went to a non genuine site! 

4. I drove back just now, accidentally took my one card instead of my condo access card out. THE BAR OPENS! MIRACLE! Both cards i put together cos one card is to access my office parking and condo access card is to enter the condo. Both equally important. HOW DID IT HAPPEN?! 

5. In office saw the FB news that Japan had tsunami! I feel so sad, why it had to happen to Japan. I pray that SGI comrades will be fine and everyone in Japan is safe. What emotional problem over there in Japan? 

Read and think too much, not enough time to meditate! FOCUS! Thank You! 


update14Mar: Sherwin posted:
Feeling light-headed, having migraines, or feeling out of your own body the past 3 days? No worries. It's just your Crown Chakra aligning to the new energies of planet Uranus transiting into Aries - gonna stay there for the next 7 years... [am i this sensitive?] 

at work

wow so busy! Accounts alignment can kill me, thousands of account and i need to match one by one then ask global advise how to re-tag those account to GB instead of us :( No one knows how to re-tag, so sien! Next week starts compliance testing, what a busy month! Hope can smoothly close the quarter this time! How come so busy .... haih ... is good too, so that i'm not rusty! lol 

2 colleague of mine is very negative, I've no choice because I've no one to go lunch with. Well, lazy to ask people out for lunch lar. Anyway, IBM dun have anymore friends left, only have 2-3 now but they are in different department. That is why i choose 2 days to fetch andrea, so can skip lunch in office, only 2-3 times have lunch with them. Today both of them suddenly talk to me with much emotion - telling me when wake up do not like to go to work, ask me if KT feels the same [how i know!?] I then casually ask her, this job or all the job u had. She said everytime wake up then dun feel like going to work, then i ask again, so all your previous working experience also like that lar. she kept quiet. Another one tell me with much emotion too - This morning, i open my eyes already loathe to come to work, I don't know why my husband love work so much. Really put me off every morning. This lady also change alot of job but never like any of them. Yooo.. i said, you guys should read more on sub-conscious mind. Continue to let your sub-conscious mind to control you, you will suffer the same problem for your whole life! 

I don't know after i said this i will make them loathe me or not. lol, whatever lar! Why universe still haven't give me a new groups of lunch kaki? If they say those things again with that much emotion but in a positive statement, i think they will be really happy when they open their eyes in the morning! WHAT A MAGICAL DAY! There will be alot of exciting things happen today.

Ben Shichida 6Mar2011

Ben 'eat' the energy ball with style! lol ... he does all the hand rubbing himself and compress the energy ball. VERY CUTE! I helped him to splash down and wash away the bad energy. Ben is able to follow instruction from sensei now, i would say 70% he can, 30% of his time he prefers to walk around touching sensei's stuff or just want to dig my bag or other mummy's bag. He still absolutely love all the songs sang by sensei. There is no pressure for him to be able to do EVERYTHING in the class as i understand his concentration span is still short and as long as he is listening it's GOOD enough already. Most importantly i can see that he enjoy going to class. Or else i would stop him from going .... quite taxing to bring him around ... he is a super ACTIVE toddler!

5 Years Service Award

I Finally got my 5 years award vase (i choose) from Royal Selangor. It's pretty small, but it's good enough for just looking at it. I feel joy when receiving it from my manager, i don't know why, lol! 

I have been in and out of IBM and they accumulate my years of service, not bad eh. IBM pays all my delivery fee (75%) and all my kids medical fee (75%, if emergency then it's 100%). I've got 18 days annual leave too based on my years of service, regardless I have gone to citibank in year 2007. IBM is really generous and I feel very grateful for serving this company, although some unhappy things happen like getting my band 7 (which i see it as insignificant) - I know it's my negative ego. It makes no difference to my pay, only the band changes, I have too much anger and will power to fight last time. I prefer peace now and I can handle it quite well for the time being :) 

I'm not selling IBM, there are many people here suffers too. baseline is, Love your job and appreciate what you have and have goal/vision for the life you want - any job you are in, you can have similar experience that you have imagine/visualized in your mind's eye. When i was in citibank, my life there is also very easy, not stressful and i can go shopping in KLCC and Pavillion. Back in IBM has MORE benefit, beside not stressful and shopping, i can work from home and is flexible. Your attitude determines your life. God Bless You :)

Soul Psychology

I'm reading Soul Psychology by Joshua David Stone. Many times, you know that you have reached the end of the road, or you know you are going to accomplish some milestone even you do not see it with your physical eyes. You just know it, intuition it is called. Trust your intuition and your instinct, listen to them closely, they are your best guidance/ buddy. 

On this earth, only my dad has told me that he wants to help people, he do not want to spend years studying medicine, hence he chose to become a civil engineer to build houses for people to live in. This he told me when I was in A levels. All the while I categorize myself as a "victim", hence what he told me I did not give a second thought. I just choose whatever engineering is available to me at that time. Now I'm here graduated with chemical engineer title but do nothing with engineering. After 29 years, well - going to 29, I finally realize I need to help other people and should make contribution to the world. I see myself as not a 'victim' anymore. I need to be POWERFUL, CENTRED and LOVING all the time. All my life i have been very powerful and centred, I'm lacking love - to myself and people around me. Now I'm taking the word, love your mother earth to my heart very closely now. I found another layer of love within myself. Thanks Guardian Angels.

I will stop writing down my spiritual Journey from now on in specific labels because I felt that I've gone to another level again. Just like starting with absolute happiness label, then spiritual journey label, I've come to a road that I need to take my knowledge offline because it is far beyond what a layman could understand. I'm very grateful with my journey and I hope i could help as many people as possible before I return to the spiritual realm. This blog will still keep track of my kids milestone and things happening in my life in general. May abundance be with everyone.

Healing Crisis

What I've been thru could be a healing crisis, was so doubtful because I don't know what causes it:

(1) Weekend food (but hubby eat it as well & the kids - all of them were OK)

(2) Thursday SRT clearing (sunday only not feeling well?)

(3) Menstrual - was feeling fatigue on sunday, thought i had anemia 

(4) from Andrea (cannot be, i healed her thru energy only and i did not wash her buttock after she poo)

Now I confirm it's (2) - SRT clearing (energy healing). Clearing using SRT can be as same effect as lying down to be healed thru energy? That's really weird too. Entities usually clinging on to our will centre - solar plexus chakra and this could explain why i'm having stomach upset then lead to diarrhea. I always have stomach problem - digestion problem. After all that is cleared, my body goes thru a healing crisis and i think my liver too, as of today my stool is still pale yellow. Alot of gas in my tummy, until today still has alot of gas, but I'm feeling much better - energy wise has restored to 70%. 

Another weird thing is, i did reiki in the morning:

(a) yesterday morning, when i call upon mahatma energy - i saw pink colour energy shining out from my heart chakra. by the way, mahatma energy suppose to be golden colour (from one website). It feel so weird, i don't know if the colour will contradict each other, i just concentrate on my golden energy ball.

(b) this morning, when i call upon mahatma energy - i saw green colour energy. I don't know what does it mean. why suddenly i can see so many colours. What i mean is seeing with my third eye not my physical eyes. Need to check it out from KW. 

Need to be more aware of the changes since now I'm a brand new me.

(1) I do not react as fast as last time - angry/ worry/ upset - I felt that i have peace in me

(2) Things around me seems to go very slowly now

(3) band 7, i haven't got it yet and i don't feel as emotional when my manager tried to explain it to me. Last time i will judge her by telling myself that actually she doesn't want to give me. it's not important to me now. 

(4) when things don't go my way, like yesterday i sent andrea to school 3 cars honk at me. I don't know what i did wrong, well maybe i want to go into their lane but that is no wrong right, maybe i was feeling unwell and i'm attracting lower vibration energy people hence they are impatient and rude. I did use my third eye and my physical eye to stare at one of the driver like an evil cat, but later i cut my energy cord with that person. I DO NOT Want to see him in my next life. CHOI! I'm not bothered by these anymore whereas last time i will curse and honk back or use hand signal 'what are u doing' sign. 

Will see how long it will remain in me. lol .... I do not want to become a full time healer, i want to have a healing centre in Kota Kinabalu - the place has to be near the sea or forest. It can be a place for people to have healing/ reiki retreat. I'm a provider for the place and will do healing when only necessary. I want to enjoy my current life and also to be with my children and family. Guardian Angels. Guide me. 

Year Group Placement

 

If I have more determination, If I'm more Lucky

My kids will have a chance to enter International school

It's not about face value, as my dad always condemn

It's about human learning and how fast we complete the cycle for this lifetime

[baby, toddler, teenager, graduating, job, married, having kids, bring them up, sick, dead + spiritual growth]

Don't you feel our body deteriorate FASTER

Don't you realized the earth is moving FASTER

[technology, information, everything]

Our education system is slowing us down

All the kids are so brilliant that they already over achieve for standard 1

I choose to get married once I've graduated

I choose to give birth to 2 kids before I'm 30

I was afraid that I cannot complete my cycle

All the pollution, engineered food, artificial harmful food

We cannot avoid

All in All, I do not want to repeat the same lesson

Lifetime after Lifetime

Andrea, you will go to Year 1 (standard 1) in 2012 which is next year if I'm a millionaire. I'm sad because I cannot give you that and I hope you can reborn into a more wealthy family next life :) I really want to but I cannot afford. I shall leave this regret behind now and move on. It has been bothering me for so long and I must let it out and move on. I shall not look back into this issue again.

Andrea Shichida 27Feb11

Followed andrea to shichida class for feb (full month)! I alternate with hubby, next month i will go with ben. What's new from andrea's class:

1. Imaging - the last time i went with andrea, sensei asked to imagine something and will take out something for the kids to play with. Now, sensei asked to imagine something/ event and they will describe it to sensei. 

2. peg memory, flash memory (the kids say out what's the next card, weekly will add two more cards), memory linking (weekly read all 50 cards, still reading, no testing yet, dunno when is it going to test, last time was 10 a week), body parts memory (weekly to remember 5 but will show all 50 in one go)

3. using marker now to do maths, maze, some random activities

4. mandala (heard heguru starts this earlier, shichida only start in year 4 class)

5. Multiplication! 

It's getting complicated for a 4 year old i feel. Andrea's memory not bad but flash memory abit poor. I on the other hand training my third eye to do ESP. keke ... Next week gonna spank ben's buttock during shichida class!