08 June 2011

I'm excluded

I was VERY upset yesterday when my functional told me that I'm excluded for the proactive review in china. It's not because I missed the chance to go china for free but it's because everyone in GMU goes there and I'm being left behind because i was the most experienced one and they think i do not need to have this experience. He told me they have travel restriction and so on, well whatever. I was upset yesterday over sametime, this morning he sent me an email attached the ibm.com global BC email to say trying to push the travel for me, I have tears in my eyes again, i told myself I will be sad only for one time (which was yesterday), however I have tears in my eyes again this morning.

I'm practicing to live at the presence moment, I'm now reading "Inside-out Healing" by Richard Moss. I understand that the ego wants to make us feel special, being left behind is not special at all, hence I will either feel angry (trying to gain my special attention back) or feel upset (because i don't have control over having my special attention back). Being able to live at the present moment is ideal, hence understanding why we are feeling how we are feeling, helps to accelerate the healing process inside ourselves. If you can't, look around you - observe how other people is moving, curtain moving, birds flying, car moving etc They are all at present moment - no one is attacking you, don't let your thoughts attack you. Concentrate on your goals and dream, don't let trivial stuff happening in your life ruin your future. I can do it, so can you :)

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