24 July 2012

Talking to dad

Lunch with dad this afternoon, mum back to ipoh and i was feeling 'lunch at vietnamese'. Luckily dad was available. Dad and I do not have much heart to heart talk, our conversation is all about giving me advise or just letting me do the talk. He reads many book (he always quote from books he reads), hence the wisdom or he had near death experience hence his so-called wisdom is better than normal human beings. either way. 

I cannot believe i cried again, for all the months of healing. Many things I told him that day serve as a reminder for myself, i felt those things I've said had anchored 1 inch deeper into my heart/ soul. I thank for you the opportunity and time, I guess the healing are on-going and session like this helps heal further and deeper. 

I asked dad, what life is all about. about the cycle of life. every human beings are baby - teenager - adult - old man. If this is a cycle then what we have to do about it in every stages in life. Dad just said contribution, regardless small or big. Although i know the answer to this question but I want to see what dad says, fair enough the answer given is enlightening. Because, if ever anyone ask me this question, this will not be my single answer to that person. However, this is just what I need. Thank You. 

I told dad I'm disappointed in myself. I don't know if this runs in the family bloodline or my upbringing, I felt belittle when I do not achieve things I want. Dad didn't answer me he just listen. For I know the answer is to widen my perspective in life, change focus and power up. He just say as human beings, we need to be happy, find something and do something that makes you happy. I told dad, I learnt so much after dropping the money ego as I do not earn any money now and using money to release my pain/ anger is no longer an option or using money to hurt people is no longer an option. My soul growth maximised. These are the experience that I cannot explain to people - how many people on earth has as much experience that I have. I doubt it. My situation might not be the worst but the learning curve is really steep. 

I told dad, 3 of my friends are having 3rd baby, how great it is to have more children. Surprisingly he didn't say anything about affordability as that is always my main concern. Dad ask is that what you want? I told him, children is for parents to learn, I think 2 children is enough for my soul growth. haha ... I was shock to say these but how true. I was once afraid that I may grow old without any younger children to accompany and if one child doesn't want me I still have the other. 2 children they might fight and having 3 like my siblings we always have someone to 'cool the pot'.

All these are really good to have, but do I need 3? Having children really is to know about yourself as your children carries your DNA (bloodline karma & family behavior), are you ready to accept and change, having more children = more pressure pressing you to change/ realize your karma. The answer is I need to know myself. I know I have attachment problem - being afraid of aloneness and dependence, I need to conquer this for soul growth. God is in the centre of our living. We are bless with children as they are going to teach us something valuable/ reveal bloodline karma in life and our responsibility is to let them grow without limit/ intent to break free from bloodline karma - free our souls. The real human circle is about this.

Children born after year 2000 has high energy, really the DHA milk powder make them smart? really only my children are awesome? Take a look around you, the children now born are different because their body contains more energy and higher frequency. Right brain education can help them maximize their high and refine energy. How you ask me? Observe your child. They can tell you. All the amazing things they have done ... crawling on four, walking, responding, singing, reading earlier than stated milestone, not just me, almost more than 50% of my friends children are doing this. See to believe .. we are becoming Oneness ... hence having 2 or 3 kids doesn't really matter. It's all about how much you know about yourself and willing to detach - emptiness. Denial is your blockage. 

Sometimes dad may not say alot of things, every time I feel God is using dad's mouth to tell me valuable advise/ things for that moment in time. He may not agree for everything I do, but I really like talking to him as he soothe my emotion. Thank You for your time. 

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