16 July 2012

Quiet

Turbulence happens all the time, I always feel I ride on the wave instead of staying calm underneath the water. From the 1st day, I accept and willing to let go of my 'fake' destiny i created for myself, I know my life could change 360 degree. I did not care if it will bring me to the extreme good or bad. I know, for whatever things I want is 'fake' and I will not live true to myself and my true life purpose. Life purpose is not for us to FIND it, It will unfold itself when you are walking the path of your life, you choose these life lesson before you are born. For one thing i know, I will continue to shine and be a life example to people around me, of course knowing bazi is a cheat sheet to life. You roughly know what life lesson you have stupidly chosen for yourself, hoping you could learn this life ...... stop blaming anybody, remember! you want/ choose this and you get this, acknowledge it and learn it for this life. To avoid reincarnation/ to be dump into a recycle bin. 

Everything you hear or see and available on this earth. They are all correct. It depends on which level of consciousness you are in. Hence, never say anyone is wrong as their wisdom obviously higher than yours. Alot of things layman and monk/ priest could interpret the same thing as different meaning. I have a friend post in FB - And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. (1 John 4:16 NIV84)
He said we rely on the love God has for us. If you substitute 'energy' to God and Love (God is Love), the meaning will be different and you will feel more independent as compared to relying on something to makes you happy. Jesus Christ is a healing GOD, it doesn't mean there is no reincarnation. Start accumulating your good karmic points for your tough period in life that you may need to use it later. 

Sorry. I feel imbalance obviously. However, I feel the change, tremendously. I fight with hubby again, then my girl fell sick and worst part is the doctor prescribe wrong medicine (wrongly diagnose) - I don;t like this and I cannot avoid it, causing my kids sick because of toxic energy at home. I want to divorce but hubby do not agree. From the 1st day, i let go of my 'fake' destiny, I determine to walk back to my life purpose, which I do not know what, i let it unfold. 2 months later, after settled my emotions and physical health (yoga), my maid decided to go home, I sweat so much on housework with crack fingers and feet - the funny part is I did not complain, I know it is part of the 'road' i need to take. What's next? I don't know? 

I walk this 'road' with full consciousness, dropping attachment i collected since childhood. I am like a parasite, i need comfort and attention all the time cos my parents do not have much time for me when i was young. Waking up 5am every morning, my heart is set to do my best and what is needed to be done for this 'road'. When something unhappy happens, funny thing I did not complain i did this because of anybody, I do this for myself. Did I consciously know of this change? I don't. I knew this when I had the fight with hubby. It's not because I don't love him anymore, for I know love is eternal and separation is letting go of unhappiness, the emotional attack is unbearable to me. I guess I still have some stupid lesson to learn until the 'flow' can be smooth again. I do not have time to meditate or chant, can only live in walking prayer. 

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