05 May 2012

Feeling Unloved

It's all about expectation between human to human. I saw SN write some post and tag alot of people few days ago but i was not in there. Today I saw another post and I was not in there too. Wanted to change friend status to acquaintance so I don't see his post anymore but didn't do it, cos hubby taught me. Things ever changing and you will not know what is the next best thing would happen between the person who disappoint you, provoke you, cheat on you, etc. I ignore, but i just want to say I'm disappointed cos some of my course mate was in his list. ah well, no affinity lor. 

Maybe i do like to be in that circle but then I know there are something not so right with them. I asked myself do i want to make spirituality my life? My answer is no because I do want to know spirituality (bazi, feng shui, energy healing, etc) but however will not make it my life purpose. Why am I in this earth plane? cos I want to experience earth but by knowing my capabilities I could achieve more than average person. Maybe that's the reason why I'm drifting away? I don't know. For one thing to happen it could have a few factors. 

Today wesak day, for the 1st time i went to temple - light up lamp, offer flowers, put joysticks and meditate for 5 min. I don't know why I have an urge doing so. I just follow my feeling and it feels great! I feel the buddha energy running thru me when I meditate at the hall, I felt so happy when offer the flower to buddha, I told him "I hope you like it :)". Lighting up the lamp for the hope for my prayers could sink into the universe with the help of fire and the monk chanting. I had breakfast there and it was good, I thank you for the smooth event this morning and the nice breakfast I had. Thank You. 

If you ask me, I still want spiritual teachers to me on my FB. All of them. As they gave me insight and guidance when I need one. I thank you for them to be my guide and I'm at peace when they do not treat me as important as I feel for them. If you ask me, I really do not feel i need to go for any meditation or healing circle for the time being. Maybe he had sense me as well :) Thank you universe for the healing!

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