busy days ahead

Given a new task at work. Gonna serve the executive. More lights and Helping hands needed. Bless be.

Chinese New Year

nian 29: helped mum to tidy up downstairs in the morning then went to buy groceries for the kids. arrived early at isetan (no cars on the road), went to the fountain - enjoy morning sun and morning breeze (new year wind i guess) I'm so happy. Dinner time, relatives all gathered at parents place for steam boat. Helped wash the dishes cos julie taking care of the kids at home, back started to ache, so asked Thomas take over then pei :) 

nian 30: start journey to ipoh at 5.30am, arrived at 7 ish. had breakfast then to grandma paternal hse - give hamper. After that went to grandma maternal hse - give hamper and angpau. Had most satisfying fu chow dishes, thanks for the food as Thomas enjoy it very much too. Had horrible experience cos ben lost one of his angpau (being manipulated) for gambling. Thank God, kim came for rescue. ben ang pau taken back and I was in relieve. dinner at restaurant, was told 8pm only can eat - rush out to buy McD for the kids as their dinner time is at 6pm. Thought 7pm OK but 8pm is TOO LATE. Go back hotel to rest

1st day of CNY: Take breakfast at hotel then have our own mini ang pau session, just 4 of us. 10am go to grandma maternal to bid our last good bye. Had lunch at grandma paternal and ang pau session. However, ben make alot of fuss by crying, i was furious - go back to hotel for checkout, ben slept soundly in the car and skip his lunch! poor boy. Lunch was not enough too, so yeah ... no abundance i feel for this family. (not curse, just feeling) Bid our good bye and back to KL in 1.30 hrs. I slept all the way in the car, hubby speed all the way while i'm sleeping! Half way I did wake up and call upon archangel Michael cos i can feel the speed and lazy to comment hubby, so i just call the angels instead. Had blissful sleep in the car! Thank You 

2nd day of CNY: get ang pau from mum and dad, had family photo shoot at home. out to KLCC park and had lunch at dome. afternoon i took nap, at 4ish, let the kids play in the bath tub. with my magic potion - Epsom salt and frankincense. Clean their aura and raise their vibration, going back to ipoh was very crowded, alot of different energies especially big family they have their negative vibes on us or what not. I don't care but protection for myself and the kids is very much needed. Dinner at Feast Village - StarHill. Perfect way to end my CNY holiday :) 

I felt upset for a moment when my aunt told me to get 2-3 box of pop-pop [50 boxes it has] whereas my uncle said he would buy for me. I asked her permission because my uncle was not at home at that time, i thought it's good manners to ask but couldn't believe she told me that, I some more reiterate that I cannot find it in KL and hope can buy that from her (whereas my uncle said he would give that to me), she told me I cannot say because I'm not the one who buy it. It's either (a) my relationship and her is not good (i dunno where i have done wrong) or (b) she does not have open communication with her husband. aunty went in to talk to her son and told me puchong got, i know, puchong so big and it cost RM0.5 per box. I however ignore and sense she reluctant to give. To all my relatives, if you continue to gossip about me, you will not have time to yourself. Please look in within not outside, what I have now you can have it too, I pray that you find the wisdom in within because you and I are One. My family just like yours, striving to give our children a better place to grow and be loving and compassionate. May love and peace be with you. Bless be.

Spiritual Lesson

I've Learn 2 lessons this month:

1. The Law of Request. I'm a well mannered person, simply because i have DO and DW in my day and month pillar. Hence I consider myself the above average 'fine' person. It gave me a shock when I read "A little Light on the Spiritual laws" by Diana Cooper. All the while, i thought my problem is that I am too compassionate, hence always get turn down by people who don't need my help. I do feel unhappy, hence I ask KW about it, he said I was being too compassionate and it's OK, people have their divine timing. Under the Law of Request: It is spiritual bad manners for me/gods/angels to interfere and it also stops the person from learning and becoming stronger. So here comes the law of request. Remember to request for help when you need it. 

2. As within, So without. I was struggling for a long long time. I find every fault on my maid because I find every fault in myself. I was so irritated because I cannot make decision for myself, it's not like cutting your hair, buying a new bag etc. It's in between of choices; bad options I have. Like JY said, option A: break your leg, option B: break your arm. I'm in this situation where I cannot send my maid back because I'm worried abt my kids, If my maid stays - all these will repeat itself again and again. Universe send SN to tell me to send my maid back but my material support will be gone and I still love my job. So how? It's in this nasty and messy karmic tie that I need to solve. Oh man ... Universe please support me. Pull me Thru please. My boy fell head down from the stairs yesterday night and I do not know where is the limit I shall stop as the controls are with my Mum and Hubs. I HATE it, Maybe I have to learn to be NOT in control , need to learn to go with the flow as the master are 2 of them. A strong DW person like me, it's REALLY HARD to let my steering wheel go OUT OF CONTROL!! sobs ... spiritual lesson. Universe please take care of me

Spiritual Books

I was told that time is speeding up, I do sometimes feel the energy of quickening but I'm not sure reading 4 books in a month is also a result of this. I was a slow reader and barely can read more than a hundred pages a day, I'm amaze with the speed I'm reading now. lol! So be it!

Here is what I take home after the reads. It is like bazi theory, all these are like onions, one read you get one layer, read another time you get another layer from the same book. 

1. Three Magic words: Confirm SGI adopts the subconscious mind and universal subconscious mind theory. Conclusion, SGI is Spiritual! This book is an entry level for lay man to further understand their natural capability. I like the example given where he listed Jesus quote and what it means from spiritual standpoint. I now open my heart to jesus, I drop the discrimination where I was once been discriminated by protestant christian. This book refresh what I already know since young, the only thing new to me is the universal subconscious mind. Now I might be an indigo child because I knew all these without anyone telling me! whatever it is, my passion remains the same as SGI last prayer : "I pray for the happiness of all humanity"

2. The Keys to the Universe: This opens my perspective on different dimension. I read about dimension from soul psychology, however did not really understand fully. This book brings wider perspective, it brings fairy tale and harry potter into perspective. I was stunt, I was telling myself, all these are real (maybe not). I choose to believe because if it not, how on earth they have such idea. This book talks about bird kingdom, and portals to another realm. Are they real? I don't know but we seen it all on movies! However, I would love to keep this knowledge with me as whether they are real or not doesn't really matter :) 

3. A little Light on the spiritual Laws: This is a great book. If you want to play the earth game, you should read this. what's new to me .... My Bad spiritual manners! lol .. beside this, there are about 10% which is new to me, others are what I already know and practicing, as SGI practice most of it, so yeah, I am quite on track actually. Thank God! I did it again on bad spiritual manners, please forgive me, bad manners need time to change, I will make it my 2012 resolution! bless be. 

4. The Magdalen Manuscript: Talks about scared relationship. Women need to feel appreciated and safe. This book is about ISIS and jesus. Ka body (energy body) can be strengthen by having scared relationship, lots of open communication and honesty needed. This world needed feminine energy to balance up, like Yin and Yang theory. ISIS and Kuan Yin is feminine energy hence it's important for this earth to get balance. strengthen ka to me is quite advance and i do not see the need for it right now, I just take home - appreciation, safe (secure) and honesty. 

I will start reading A new light on angels tomorrow :) So it is. 

Note on giving Healing

When you treat yourself or someone else for a physical ailment, remember that you are treating mind and not  body. You are assuring yourself of mental and spiritual perfection, you are affirming it, you are projecting it into Universal Subconscious Mind with complete faith and trust. When you treat someone else you still deal with the same mind. You treat yourself to think perfection of the person you are treating. Do not try to change the other person's thinking by the power of your own thought. Simply treat yourself for your conception of him. You move Universal Subconscious Mind; Universal Subconscious Mind moves him. Therefore whether you are treating yourself or another, the treatment is always the same, though of course in the latter case you will substitute "he"or "she" where you would normally use "I". but always you are treating yourself, your own conception, and projecting it into Universal Subconscious Mind. When you heal another, you must first be able to completely accept in your own mind his spiritual perfection. When you have done that, the healing will be effected.

Three Magic Words - Page 213.

Last Year Expense

Top Five

1. Groceries & Household - RM15K

2. Own education fee - RM14K

3. Children Misc - RM10K

4. Children Enrichment Class - RM7K

5. Facial/ Make Up - RM6K

My top 5 expense!! I'm going to reduce own education fee tremendously this year. Item 1 is actually 40-50% from my pocket. Has to reduce Children Misc also - no more toys and too many clothes! Enrichment class still OK ... can add more .. hahha.. overall 2011 expenditure is crazy! Worst than 2010, 2010 was all my clothes and shoes expenditure. This year is all about hse, kids and myself! gosh .... God find me Balance please.

Peaceful observation

Hubby brought me to his developer annual dinner. The atmosphere was so good, I enjoy it and the food was very yummy too. I was there, pretty much in my own world, as all of them were men. I observe the Owner, he looks calm and friendly - he is not like typical business man like my uncles who will be holding beer/wine walking around chatting. The way he shake my hands and say hello is really genuine, maybe just a few words for me, so the 7K is not out. Their Son took over the development business, he looks young and 'si man'. I saw his wife, very fair like him too, they have a baby - sleeping throughout the dinner. The wife sitting on another table, The husband sat on the table with his parents and his uncles I think. Hubby told me, this developer payment is always on time and never drag payment, which is rare i think to myself. My dad always said, if businessman don't do this, how they survive. I'm really happy to learn that, there is someone genuine on earth and is successful too. I don't always buy in what my dad says, because he pollutes my sub-conscious mind! I always want to believe the good, even in business. Law of attraction will only attract the good to those has good thoughts. 

The son which is taking over the dad's company, walk one round for 'yam seng'. I think, they only have about 10 tables for their staff, contractors and suppliers. For lucky draw, me and hubby each got gift. Lucky or what .. haha .... We got ourselves a yu yan sang hamper and RM100 jusco voucher. Actually our table got 9 people, 7 got lucky draw price, other people was making remark that why all goes to our table. I would love to think that, law of attraction is attracting good to me and people around me. hahaha... how vain!

Looking at their family, i would love to see my kids inherited something from the father. The father also can be someone who achieve big things like becoming a developer or anything big. I know hubby can do it, maybe some limitation in his subconscious mind that stop him from getting 'big' things. I feel so warm and happy to see their family having material abundance yet their body are in shape, not those fat, ugly weird Rich business man you saw. Their energy is healthy, that's what I can conclude :) Just be.

Random

Today benjamin fuss a little on his second day at school. I feel so warm and supported by Andrea. I feel that I can count on her and she will help me whole heartily. Only at 4 years old she has already help me to feel at ease, I'm really a sucker in emotion and cannot make up my mind when it comes to emotional matters :( I give gratitude for today, separation was at ease and pray that love and confidence will be with benjamin. Thank God for andrea, I'm so blessed to have her. 

I always do not believe in second chance for anybody, however I always had second chance. I thank universe for that. I know I always take things for granted and when it comes to relationship matter - with children, maid, hubby, father, mother etc ... I always always cannot make firm decision. Yesterday was an emotional day - i notice that I get angry quickly and also make decision quickly, however decision made are based on emotion and not with a clear mind. Although i had valid reason to send the maid home but deep down I know she tries very hard, do I really want to send her back? Hubby said alot, yesterday he supported me to send the maid back and talk to her, after the talk I felt regret. I was mad because I feel mum and hubby always do not support me, now both of them support me wholeheartedly, I have to pull back. The real problem is with me not the maid :( Thank You for letting me see this clearly.

1st day at school

Benjamin was full of enthusiasm to go to school this morning. Yesterday morning he told me he doesn't want to go to school but when andrea gets up the car he said he wants to follow, hence I told him :"ben, tomorrow we go together."

Arrived school he was cool, take out his shoe and put on the rack as told. Put his bag on the rack as told. Put his water bottle in class as told. However, was hesitant a little when teacher asked him to go into the class. Later when andrea put down her bag in her own class room, both of them went to the play ground. As usual my kids are the observer type, he stand there and watch the kids play and andrea was holding his hand. I walk up to him :"ben, mummy need to go to work now, you have fun in school and I will pick you up after school OK?" Ben said OK and said bye bye to me. I kiss my boy and Left. 

Was waiting for the teacher to call me if ben cannot stop crying, they dind't call until 11.30am. Hence I went to school at 12.15pm, he was eating his lunch quietly. I was so happy to see him calm and I ask if he enjoy his day at school he said yes, I also ask if he is coming to school tomorrow he said yes. Today I'm really happy with ben's adaptability. Thank you angles and goddes for looking over him and many Loves that you have sent to him. All is Well :)

Career Talk

One Box Checked! Career is very important as per my chart, so even if I want to deny it I can't, but I want to dissolve the strong intensity - sometimes i feel I'm successful sometimes I'm not. lol .. anyway, I feel this is a need, today I've spoken to my Executive - which arranged by my location mgr yesterday. Executive told me : People Manager is an ART, it is not master and slave relationship. I LIKE it :) 

I bought this book: The Leader who had no title by Robun Sharma and is still reading it. Half way thru now. I talked to my location manager yesterday morning, ask for her concurrence to send me to country emerging leader program - as i really need to have people mgr knowledge even I'm not one I need that knowledge. I mean NOW!!! Anyway, executive said she will look into it so I dunno it's a yes or not, cos she is treating me with ART. As a yang metal, ART is really hard to apply but i will try to be one, in fact i have been trying for 1 year now :) It feels great and people like me more honestly. Back to the story, location manager then force the conversation to happen because she said she was upset as executive promise her to talk to me but it didn't happen. All these manager are very artistic, so I dunno who is real or fake, well .. none of my business anyway. As I know I'm guided - I have faith and perseverance.

Lunch time, I walk to popular, saw this book, i pick it up and read it after lunch. 1st page it says manager title is not important. I look up, ask universe, is this a hint of not getting a people manager or asking me to look beyond this title? This book also said - Life purpose is you work hard enough on things that you are doing, how true? I thought life purpose is something you do that make you happy and rich. Now I have another definition. What a Wonderful day today :)

Conclusion. I do not know whether I get ppl mgr title or not, but I know I must work hard in my work (bring back my old spirit) - have faith and perseverance as I'm guided. Thank You Universe. I LOVE YOU!

Andrea 4yrs 6 mths

 1. Kumon work book - Completed numbers book, half way of subtraction book, short & long words. Kumon Books really great, i can see great learning curve for andrea. 

2. Completed minuet 1 on suzuki violin - still going to dr. ng

3. Loves to carry her bunny melody, bring melody for cycling and play with her

4. Loves to do craft - decorate christmas tree on papers, drawing and making festive cards

5. Loves to wail like ben and is slow motion when no excitement

6. Start telling me things she likes and ask me to buy more, or cook again, or come again etc (how positive, i like :))

7. Still watching charlie and lola, chunggington and baby TV

8. Loves to make muffin (helping me) & eat her own muffin

9. Still hitting her brother when not happy (lesser now)

10. Loves reading book still. Thank God!

4 yrs 6 months 2 weeks old

Ben - 2 yrs 2 months

I feel bad to see ben cries over every little thing. I get irritated every time I hear him cry - it's because I know the whole universe truth but I cannot do anything about it because our family is not supported by material needs yet. I pray that next year universe will provide us with abundance so I can stay home with the kids yet have my own part time work, having a maid is not healthy for the kids. I hope for the best for Ben. 

1. Sing all the song by himself and with clear words - Merry Christmas song on his own (newest song), ABC, count by 10, insey winsey spider, 12345 once I caught a fish alive, The wheel on the bus, etc

2. Loves to press the button on my piano and listen music from it

3. Loves to watch chuggington

4. Loves to play with aeroplane, cars and train

5. Loves cooking together with andrea and serve the food to adults

6. Loves to repeat whatever andrea says

7. Loves to dance alot and jumping on the bed

8. Once has a rabbit - milo, but only stayed with us for 2 weeks and died. Benjamin loves to carry her

9. Tracing of letters and numbers have improved 

10. Loves watering flower pots for me and grandma

11. Can cycle with 2 legs! Well done!

12. Massage my back when I had backache yesterday (I used to massage the kids back, he learn fast!)

13. Loves frankincense oil, play with my used contact lens, still poking my belly button before sleep (I slap his hand sometime)

14.still pee in the diaper at night, day is diaper free (even go out shopping also did not wet diaper)

15. Eating lots of junk like sweet and chocolate, chatime and snowflakes! tried to reduce ... HELP

2 Year 2 Months 1 Week old