Thursday.

No one could understand how I feel. Their reaction will be "wah so nice SAHM", "husband can support i also dun want to work", "it's good to stay home with kids", "this is what you want" etc. I do not have a channel for me to release my emotion, was hoping to get a clear quartz ball to soothe myself, I went to HOJB and wanted to buy one which is not so clear, but i hold back. haih .. i dunno what I want ... You know ... early morning azlina deny what she (they confirm hire J) told me and HR told me exec tell them other story (why i resign). Which makes me even more angry compared to what had happen the day before. Is universe helping me have this transition smoother?? I really dunno, i really hate exec and azlina because of these 2 things happened. Maybe universe helping me not to feel unhappy or 'mm seh tak'. Thank You anyway. exec asked me for lunch today and i rejected because i really hate him for being suspicious of me and tell other story to HR. Damn him! 

I need to heal:

1. Being a SAHM is not a failure

2. Balance my vibration as i do not want to attract people with no love

3. my heart chakra

3 days left

nothing to say. One thing i want to say that is i have given the exec a royce chocolate. Intention is to show my appreciation that he has given me the privilege to work from home during the H1N1 season when i was pregnant and I also have learnt people relationship from him. My another intention is also to show him, set myself an example of love - he is very suspicious, lack of trust of his team. 

Even till today, azlina bring a new person who will be taking over my BC stuff, they didn't pre-am me, and just bring the girl to me and expect me to handover my stuff to her. I have already handover the stuff to Jo, and now they want me to do the second time. I am very upset because i feel they do not respect me, I feel like deleting all the teamrooms and tired of handover. I really hate azlina and exec. I calm down, i Pray that exec will trust their people more, and of course I have cursed him few years ago, and yes, I do still want to curse him somemore. I hold back, I call upon Thoth - please mark my curse as done and complete. I release him. So it is. 

I pray for the remaining 3 days would be a joyous one. I pray for the teamrooms to be vanished or corrupted when they most needed the information after I left. So it is. I pray for those who has ill intention on me to face their own inner truth within 1 month of my absent. I re-direct their ill intentional energy back to them and more. Maat the cosmic justice, I ask for your justice to return all ill energies they have projected on me. So be it. Thank You.  

Falling Sick

This is a very bad month for me as I fell sick almost every week! I started off with sever pain just below the eye brow, then 2 weeks later I had sever sorethroat and it's 25th march. coming to end of the month. Inevitable it's a really emotional and upsetting month for me, hence I have done all I can to overcome this, Successful? I think success rate is more than 50%. emotional wise i mean :)

My sore throat is seriously bad, as in the end antibiotic was needed badly. After taken the antibiotic, i had diarrhea, thanks to google, I found out that I need to eat probiotic. Thank God that the 24 hrs clinic has probiotic and I felt so much better after taking in the probiotic. Another last dose for tonight then I'm free :) 

Body Body, I love you. Please recover and we will enjoy life together. Thank You.

Facial

I was on the facial bed just now, many memories and feelings of gratitude arise. I'm grateful for given the opportunity to go for facial during office hour. I have signed up 2 packages thus far, today is the last appointment to finish off the package. Initially I was very stressed at work, due to Sales Leader pressure and also no support from Sales Leader. My stress level reduce tremendously after facial, I used to go weekly facial at 1 point of time and reduced when I started listening to Kelly MP3. People energy around me vibrates almost the same, although they do not work in IBM, they also have the privilege of working from home or have flexi hour. We may categorized to have 'easy' life .... I think I need to vibrate slightly different this time, as I wanted Lazy cum productive life. haha .... We shall see :) 

Lying on the bed also makes me feel, God has been treating me really well. For all the bad experience and pressure I had, i always had ways to release it. Having a job that has absolute flexibility to care for my kids and also a job (citibank) that was highly appreciated by the head of department is my greatest joy in life. The moment could be short but at least I have experienced that. The only 1 thing I wanted - to become ppl mgr, God find many ways to tell me the story behind it and now I start to accept and here are what I received after my sound healing session:

1. Wanting (forcing) is yang energy. I'm a female, yin energy shall be more in my body, my action cause the disruption, hence unhappiness for myself. Yin energy is receiving, have I receive enough? Stop doing and planning for anything, it will come as this is female energy. Channeled by my sound healer. 

2. My sister told me, women shall do women part and men shall do men part. I asked, what women shall do? Giving love to the kids and husband and people around her. What shall men do? Provide the needs for his family. I guess I have not doing my part well

3. "A woman got to take good care of herself and never let herself down then only she will be able to take good care of her man. A woman needs to realize "absence makes the heart fonder" and not make herself overly available for her man, a woman especially needs to treasure her very own social circle and get back to her man when he needs her." - Daisaku Ikeda. Was on my used to be youth leader FB status

Less than a week, God tried sending me hints and advise. I guess, right now I'm more readily to accept. This is a divine timing for me to upgrade my energy system, or shall I say shift. I now understand why ISIS energy is more suitable for me (less than 1 year, 'forced' to resign) and understand why my compassion heart, kuan yin has been dearly guiding and watching over me. I pray for the happiness of all humanity. Thank You.

ben Mar12 Shichida

I'm bringing ben again this month :) After 6 month of not updating shichida progress for ben, i feel he has learnt alot of things.

1. Started to sing A-I-U-E-O song (more than half of the song)

2. follow bit by bit the good afternoon & Good Bye Song

3. Linking memory was very good (well depends on the card if he likes it) - can get 90% correct most of the time

4. able to draw lines for eye training on his own (abit crooked line but consider OK)

5. Can do energy ball and breathing on his own correctly

6. can circle the correct answer, cross still need to practise more

7. Can do easy maze (he grasp the concept of not bumping the "wall")

8. Can do 80% shichida worksheet on his own (sometimes still scribble)

9. Can understand which one is "more" and "less"

10. Can draw very nice Jelly Fish (not shichida, lol)

life so far

It has been low until this week started. Monday, the person came in was not our team, the 'news' i've gotten was a false alarm, anyway, it didn't bothers me much (only for a short time). Yesterday my ASEAN BC told me, if you are looking for a promotion and you have been in IBM for 7 years, pls write to richard as you would be a very good candidate. They need someone in June. I will recommend you because you have helped me on Malaysia review & I know you can perform! Wow .. I'm truly blessed to have someone who is willing to help me tho. I was of course tempted to write to richard but i hold it back. I ask myself do I really want to stay. My answer is YES cos I really like to work (as i KNOW where i'm going in an organization), part of me says NO because I know my kids needs me as I do not have a capable helper at home. Some people would just dump their children to the maids like hubby's boss, each kid 1 maid. When i ask the wife, OK ah the maid, she told me have to open one eye and close one eye lor. I don't know why I cannot do like she did - I could be stupid or too compassionate or too naive to think everything shall turn out exactly how i want it to.

Today i went to kidzania with a friend, it lifted my spirit a little. How important it is to meet with different people in life to gain different insight in life. I have a sound healing private session with steph tomorrow, I wish to clear off the dense energy I have for my work. I know I do not follow my bazi chart anymore, i have successfully removed myself from the astrology chart .. maybe not totally. The career part is still very much impact me, i hope steph can help me on this matter, free me from being myself once again. I have seen friends where their dad's a businessman, i learn about their risk taking character and also believe in the power of universe (like praying, using crystals, feng shui, etc). Where parents like mine, who work for other people, we lead a very mundane life as we expect things to come our way like money, we have less worries and our mentality is we are greater than GOD, cos everything seems to be in our control.

I'm grateful that GOD has given me hubby, although hubby cannot support me emotionally fully (he's learning), he taught me alot of things that I did not see in my father. Relationship wise - with family member and colleague and boss and customer and business mentality. How he uses his intuition is a great support for me to believe in my own intuition. All shichida classes he told me he got almost all correct and I hardly get any right (last time), initially i would say he was telling lie. Later on, i can see family background who were businessman or working for others really has great impact on their child.

I have been sick after i resigned. I know my energy body is greatly out of balance. This week when mercury retrograde happened, I was the 1st to get the impact because of energy body imbalance! In office - someone escalated me to HR, well actually is not my fault but my name was sent to HR, no action from them but also feel uneasy cos my name was there. secondly today at kidzania their system down until 10.30am. "Mercury Retrograde Alert! Yes, now until April 4 expect life to be just that litle more complex and watch out for mixed & missed communications - Elisabeth Jensen"

I thank you for all that has provided to me including friends and positive events. Bless be. 

Andrea Mar12 shichida

5 Year old class - Interesting!

I was with andrea for 2 months starting of the year. Here is what I observed:

1. Creative writing. Of course she doesn't know how to write, usually i ask her what she wants to write then I expand it for her. After 2 months, I can see abit of expression improvement but always are just mum, dad, ben and herself! lol ... I guess at this age family is important to them.

2. Maths are still single digit, however the kumon worksheets are double digit and thankgod the school taught them double digit already. Hence, maths in shichida do not have problem. 

3. Linking memory new book 1 &2. 1 Month one set of 50. As usual I need to memorize it 1st then to remind her whenever she is free or I'm free. till now i have not memorize all 50 but to teach her those tough words that doesn't seems to stuck in her head.

4. Mandala is getting crazy, I admit I can hardly catch up. For andrea, sometimes she can and sometimes she cannot too. Hope it won't drive her insane too. lol

5. left brain activity are always easy for her. no problem. she likes alot of finger play stuff too.

6. shichida worksheet is getting tougher. I need to use abacus to teach her about sequence. anyway, i dunno if she has grasp the concept. [eg. 90, __, 80, 75, __, 65] Andrea seriously cannot see the answer yet. 

why so upset?

I don't know why i feel very upset when i know exec has already hired a mgr for our team. I know by resigning I gave the hiring ticket to this lady which bought my exec heart. It's not because of jealousy, it's because I feel the lost of not having this I want for a long long time. I know how it feels and the feeling came back, 

I need another round of healing, I need to cut off the invisible tie which makes me feel unhappy. I know my decision is right, and this is divine timing. All that happen is divine plan, I'm happy for all that I have and is truly happy that universe has given a change to me that I longed for years. My future is uncertain but I hold a positive vision for it. Human power is unlimited, I must do what I know best and not dwell on things that I'm weak at. Make full use of your strong points, mine? ordering the universe to fulfil my desire! lol. just kidding :)