Letting Go

It is a long long journey, I thought i have let go of becoming a ppl mgr. Just when I was doing that, things around me starts to change, it gives me some light, however it did not bring me to my destination yet. I went to sound healing circle and speak to people about 2012 goal, things I wanna achieve, this is what I told the participant, after saying it out, it does really feel better, for whether it comes true or not I have to leave it to the universe. I have also tried to find out my life purpose for a month, bought some cards and tried different method to get answers, it all came back the same - something to do with children, especially my own child. That of course does not sound convincing, hence i let life flow again and indulge myself in books, i read more than 10 books in a month or 2. right now I'm awake from books and realized that "OH NO! nothing is happening to me, once more I'm gonna wait for a ppl mgr role?" The viscous cycle would just go round and round and round.

ISIS healing friend ping me on MSN, asked how am I. She also introduced me to more advance books. Hence I asked her about the Mary Magdalene manuscript book. Why do we need to strengthen the Ka body? My goal is not to become jesus, what is it's use for human alive. She direct me to The Nine Eyes of Light by Padma Aon Praksha which I have bought months ago. This morning I flip to Ka Body. What strikes me is that he says, every human has to learn their own astrology chart, hence we know what makes us went astray and we 'learn' from there - this is what earth school is all about. I was stunt, my 1st step to spiritual is actually 2008 where i've started to learn bazi with JY. I somehow 'know' bazi is important, and I didn't see wide enough that it helps 'leanings' on earth, people around me want to know/ predict their wealth/ Love/ future from charts etc I 'somehow' feel it's not right as this is not the purpose of bazi charts. I only use it for myself and my kids for character wise. whether I would be dying tomorrow and it is shown in the chart is not really important - to me. every human needs to die, it's how you handle your emotion before you die, bazi chart really cannot help to ease you when you don't find light in within yourself. finding light in yourself takes more time than you think. I've started in 2008, now 2012 I am still learning. So picking this up right before you die or when cancer strikes, I'm afraid it's a bit too late. Go get a religion or read up to have basic understanding before anything happens to you, after you pass on, you have another journey .. bless be

Back to myself, I need to shift my focus to children. Inevitable I still think of my career, I just hope something nice will be in store for me, I feel really dreadful if same role same dept continues in 2012. Focus on the positive. Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo. Life force energy, pls flow thru me. Thank You.