2 Months at home

Tomorrow mark the full 2 months being a SAHM. How do i feel? EXHAUSTED .... Taking care of the house & family is not an easy task, i really respect those stay at home mum, they are the greatest! Being me the perfectionist - the floor must be clean (hubby's territory), kids must eat healthy food, everything must be organize after one used, children should obey parents ... etc is really killing.

(1) I have learn not to FORCE things when it's not happening, however i still fail when ben doesn't want to drink his damn milk
(2) I must say my feelings towards hubby has improve a little, as he is more understanding now and is a great helping hand when i went insane. Last time i used to think we will be divorced because we have not been through enough hardship together, I guess the pain that has cause 'us' have bring us to another  level of understanding. I used to think he is an idiot and never understands my emotion and needs.
(3) able to see ben grow in weight and height is the greatest achievement & comfort. I'm happy to see ben laughing out loud when he sits on the swing & now imitate his sister (shouting, playing, bouncing), it's really fun to just watch. Every time when he does new things will brighten up my days.
(4) The only short term achievement i have at home is PLAYFISH games on facebook. Beside taking care of the kids, i will sneak out a few mins during the day to play games, basically is to renew the time  to earn more money - restaurant city, country story & pirate ahoy is the game that I'm enjoying playing
(5) Weekend is busy busy busy .... have to juggle the time between groceries, shichida classes, children nap & shopping. as ben has started his shichida class, we have less time for shopping now. I seriously prefer weekdays!
(6) Weekday is food food & food. Children's food preparation - andrea & ben eating the same ingredient. ben's add more water, andrea's add more seasoning. You think is easy? not when ben is on bad mood, he will keep pulling your pants & wail when i'm preparing (cut, wash, rinse, soak) the ingredients.
(7) The most relaxing time is the evening time, andrea, ben & I will sit at the stairs to eat our snacks (biscuit) & enjoy the cool breeze. Andrea will talk to me without fussing, ben will eat his biscuit & looking at his sister talking to me. After snacks we will go to the play ground or will walk around the condo. After this, showering time is nightmare. Ben will shout & scream when i shower for andrea, i have tried everything, none of it worked (put on high chair, put on the floor - with lots of toys). Hence i just let him cry his lungs out. Terrible
(8) I always look forward for hubby to come back, he is my life savior and the only person i miss the most during the day. With hubby around, i feel less stressful and i think the kids are more happy too.
(9) I have learn a few things from reading books & also analyze my own bazi chart. I have learnt baby massage - to heal ben's 5 important organs (but i dunno why he is not drinking now, teething maybe?) and andrea's cough. I learnt the importance of family relationship, how to bring up a healthy child & how emotions (anger, worry, jealousy) will hurt our own organs!
(10) All in all, i learn how to LOVE. I think i love hubby, my kids and myself more now.

Opportunity Knock on the Door?

It's frustrating when you know someone is interested to know more about you and may (50% chance) hire you BUT you have limitation, that is I have a FAMILY to take care. I'm not a mother that after giving birth then to leave them to other people, unless i know that care taker is responsible and will not torture my kids. Right now, i have maid issues, mum issues, i left with no one but myself to take care. The maid that have already confirm don't know when she will be arriving also .... Is this a really opportunity or it is another test to test my patient so that i could be a better person next time? So i will not easily lure by other people or all the opportunity that comes my way, i must remain calm and know what is the best decision for the best timing! BUT ... MY HUBBY does not have so much money to give me :( I'm doomed!

(a) Hua Wei headhunt me in April 2010, not successful because it requires frequent traveling to china
(b) Shell HR called me in July 2010, not successful because the manager cannot wait till November for me to start work. I do not want to forgo my precious 6 months holiday for this! Do you know how hard to get this unpaid leave & definitely i haven't rest enough. Moreover, if i start work in Sept, I will not have another chance of unpaid leave in my life ever again! I have not heard of any company that can have unpaid leave ... not even shell (the manager told me!)

All these sick opportunity - can you please go away .... It bothers me for a long time and keep bothering me, i cannot get my mind off it. I wish for a good career and with better income, I also wish that my children can be taken care by someone that can be trusted. Too much wish, i think children comes 1st .. If one day i die, i must not regret of choosing this path (i know i will regret and start blaming people when things don't come my way). You can either choose A or B! B that is - YOUR CHILDREN!

儿童经络 by 萧言生

My mum bought this book from china, searched in the internet found that they claim that the author is a liar, no one shall read this book. However, i have visit a few site, it seems that the massage is safe and i really do not care if the author copies other peoples work, because in the end, the most important thing is the information shall be genuine and should not lead to life threatening event.

I would like to summarize what i have learn from this book:- For children age 0-6

1.Make me realize that not only i need to know how to ease my child pain, i also need to be aware of my well-being at home. Relationship with my husband and overall home environment have to be peaceful in order to bring up a healthy kid.

2. Now i know what i have learnt from bazi - 金木水火土 is very useful for this. You need to know which area is weak, then only you know what area to improves 补

3. For common fever, night sweat, cough, phlegm, cold and daily preventive massage is available in this book. I find it useful

4. Very interesting note, how we behave will indirectly hurt our own organ. -> you kill yourself<-
(1)木: 伤肝 － 偾怒
(2)火: 伤心 － 大喜（玩太疯）／ 恨
(3)金: 伤肺 － 恼
(4)土: 伤牌 － 怨
(5)水: 伤肾 － 恐惧 ／ 烦

All in all, for adults, do meditation and pray more, so you can get rid of all the TOXIC describe above in order to be healthy. I must do Reiki more.

Mosquito Bite

So far ben had 2 times mosquito bite - hand & forehead. This time it's at the forehead and the swelling frighten me, it is much worst than the swelling on the hand. How on earth a mosquito can be this poisonous? Day 1 was just swelling on the forehead, the size as big as a tennis ball (no kidding!) + redness. When i brought him to shichida class, all mothers asked if he has a knock on his head. Day 2 was worst, ben's face changed... I feel that I'm not carrying my OWN SON! He looks like an alien - swelling forehead + life palace & nose bridge also swell! Honestly i don't dare to look into his eyes because i feel it's not ben! Day 3, the forehead had totally subsided but the nose bridge area still abit swell, but no more alien look, my ben ben is back! However, there is some pass on his left eye in the evening, thought it's not much so i did not bring him to the doctor, i guess is the damn mosquito poison! Today he looks very adorable :) despite the big red spot on his forehead. Poor Boy ...

1. Ben is able to go down the bed with his leg down 1st. I have been patting his butt when he wants to go down the bed, i think he gets it now
2. Ben loves to read the Three little Pigs, he will Huff & Puff with me. Clever Boy!
3. Ben will cry when andrea snatch things from him and when he sees us eating at the dinning table
4. Ben is able to use straw for drinking 2 weeks ago
5. Ben likes to hit the table with toys or bare hands, sometimes hit the floor. I don't know why he does that, he seems to enjoy it

8 months, 2 weeks, 2 days old

Onitsuka Tiger

Ever since I'm back from the UK, i have never wear shoe with socks anymore. All i have is heels & sandals. When i clear my shoes, i only kept my camper & roxy shoe for walking & Reebok for sports ... Just in case i need it. However, they have been sitting in the cupboard for years now :p They are all very old design as i bought them more than 5 years ago.

Recently hubby has this urge to buy Onitsuka Tiger shoe and i don't know where he pick up the interest. He bought one pair for himself, i must admit the designs are quite unique. Yesterday he bought another pair for me ... hehe... we have the same design ... I plan to wear it on my girl's Sport Day end of this month. At least i have a purpose for this new shoe :) Although i don't appreciate it as much as hubby does, but i do appreciate the nice design & it's quite comfy.

When i was in the shop at The Gardens, i over heard 2 customers looking for limited edition shoes. I'm surprise that i still see people collecting shoes as i only hear it during my college time, both customers were at their late 20s! However i am shock too because at 8pm, the shop has already sold RM14K shoes for that day! I never thought shoes can be a good business :)

Toy Story 3

Daddy brought us to watch Toy Story 3 today, it is andrea's first time to the cinema. As expected, she cried, luckily not much & daddy is able to comfort her and we stay till the end of the show! Good Job andrea! Somehow andrea knows she will be afraid i think, she bring along her pillow without us asking, thank god for the pillow, if not i think we cannot manage to finish that movie! During the movie, she cried & fuss on and off, she did not eat the Hot Dog we bought for her, only drank sprite & some pop corn. After the movie, she remind us to buy tutti fruity for her, i guess it's a relieve for her that the show is over! lol, she needs ice cream to RELAX ....

This is what Andrea has done so far:

1. She knows how to play Match. We played 20 cards so far, she enjoys it. (Sevi 1831 mini memory)

2. Andrea is able to make bracelet & necklace on her own - Box from ELC mothercare

3. Andrea made flower for Grandma's birthday - Box from ELC mothercare, I only need to help her to set up the Vase. 

4. Andrea is more confident in doing shichida worksheet now, I do not need to guide her 100%.

5. Andrea knows how to use my imac for playing her Playhouse Disney - mickey mouse games and charlie & lola games

6. Andrea helps me alot at home now - put dirty clothes in the basket, put all used utensil to the sink, keep her book after reading, keep her toys (sometimes), wear & choose her own shoe & clothes, help me to hang & fold clothes (handkerchief & pants only)

7. Help me to remove ben's socks & shoes when we came home

8. Andrea can recognize words on my iphone, she will call grandparents & daddy whenever she wants to speak to them. 

9. Andrea is able to sleep on her own now - Afternoon nap & night. I'm so proud of her!

10. Most importantly play with her brother when i'm busy cooking

3 Years, 2 Weeks, 6 Days old

My heart Melt

My little girl makes my day, she is such a sweet girl. Despite scolding her everyday, i know she still loves me. I really have to control my temper ..... 

1. Andrea suddenly told me, I don't like mama (grandmother). I asked : "why? i thought u like mama so much, always want to look for mama". Andrea replied: "no, i don't like, because mama always fight with mummy. I don't like mama." I had 2 argument infront of andrea, i know it's bad but I just cannot avoid it, I'm too emotionally depress at that time. My girl. no matter how much she loves her grandma, I know she loves me more :) 

2. When we are out for evening walk, i asked her :"andrea, what are you going to give me for my birthday". Andrea replied: "i want to give u rose, red one ... and one more like this (show me the flower on her T-shirt". Then i asked her :" why do you want to give me flower?". Andrea replied :"because i like flower". I'm happy because she will give me something she likes, not something she doesn't want! lol. Andrea always give something to ppl only when she does not want it... terrible! 

3. Last week, the whole week when she was on holiday ... she will ask daddy to give me a kiss when daddy goes to work. One or two days daddy did not kiss me before he went out because andrea forgot to remind him. Andrea will come to me and asked :"why daddy didn't give you a kiss before he go to work?" I replied :"because daddy loves you more than me (daddy always hug & kiss her before he go out)" Andrea replied: "nevermind, i will ask daddy to kiss you tomorrow OK?" Then she gave me a kiss :)

4. This afternoon i told andrea :"you see this mosquito bite my thumb, it's so itchy!" Andrea look at my thumb and rub it (at the red spot there) :" I kiss it OK? then it will become better already". After she kiss, she asked me :"OK now or not". 

I'm glad that andrea still loves me even i did not treat her the way i wanted to, the situation i'm having now really kills me, I do not have a day which i feel peaceful, there is too much things happening and the reason is because I'm not Calm enough and I'm too worry over the smallest stuff - like ben not poo-ing for 2 days, ben not drinking 10 oz per day. I just hope things will become better when i get a good helping hand. Love you Andrea. 

HFMD Back2Back

Ben shows sign of HFMD last Tuesday, today is his third day, luckily he was OK for all his meals. Ben has more blisters on the hands and legs (knees too) compared to andrea, however i cannot see any red dots in his mouth. Andrea had one big patch near the tonsil & a few around the mouth, for ben i only manage to peep the upper part of the mouth + tonsil area. It was clean, i guess not much in his mouth. Im very thankful for that, at least he drinks & eat his porridge/ fruits/ cereal.

I bathe Ben three times a day, as advised by my PD. He asked us to bathe andrea more, drink more fluid & rest more. This is what i did for ben for the past 3 days, i hope he will recover soon. I really need a rest.... I don't know if i have virus myself, i had headache for the past 2 days. Everyday i pray that my kids are healthy & obedient, I still need somemore time to really sink into this daily routine. The hardest part is to find time to read/ play with andrea & also teaching ben. I don't know how .....

After 1 month of cooking for ben & andrea, i feel more relax as i do not need to REALLY crack my head & stressed over what to cook for them. The ingredients are the same every week, all i need is to mix & match. Here is what i read from a cook book for children - at least 3 times meat (chicken/ pork) & 2 times fish in a week. I followed that, the rest all vege - pumpkin, broccoli, carrots, potato, corn, peas, baby spinach, cauliflower. Most of the time i steam ben's meal, if ben & andrea eating the same, i will use my Toshiba cooker. Life is so much easier with the cooker, hand blender & steamer. They are my life savior, i cannot imagine that i have to turn on the gas every time i cook!

What Ben can do

8 months 1 week 1 day old

What Ben can do thus far:
1. scream & cry very loudly when is agitated. However he screams even more after shichida class, the reason is - there is another boy who likes to scream & ben follows :s
2. Ben can open all my Pen cover
3. Ben can tear apart my breast pad!
4. Ben can hang himself on his fisher price Toy, if he steps on the correct thing (like a bump or anything can support him) he will peep over to another side and smile + make happy noise.
5. Ben can Open the mail box on his fisher price toys & Shut the window (i need to open the window 1st). He also likes to open and close the door, right now he is very rough, you can see him swing the door really hard :s
6. Ben likes to push and pull the chair, stool, towel rail. He enjoys the squeaking sound produced, how odd.
7. Ben likes to pull the cable - phone cable, PC cable & breast pump cable (when i'm pumping, he will happily pull the cable back and forth)
8. Ben likes to eat everything we eat, however we only allow him to eat bread now.
9. Ben watches Baby Sign DVD now, he likes to watch it
10. Ben loves to play Pee-a-Boo. Beside using hanky & pillow, now he likes to use bolster. He likes the bolster roll over him, he will laugh out loud.

HFMD

Andrea had contracted HFMD, now ben & andrea has been separated, just hope ben will not get it.

I was paranoid when i saw the red dots on her hands & feet & inside her mouth. I immediately start cleaning the house & hoping ben will not get it. After i have cleaned everything, by that time i was already calm, i realized what had done cannot be undone. Cleaning the house will not guarantee ben from not get it, even if ben has it, he has to go through it. I was so emotionally exhausted the whole morning. Phew... Beside worrying for ben, i cooked porridge early in the morning, boil barley water, pack all her vitagen & yakult & smoothies, pack her clothes and all her belongings.. for her to bring to grandma house, not forgetting her toys + puzzles, so she won't feel bored over there. I miss my girl right now, having her at home can be annoying at times but without her at home the house seems too quiet. I know ben misses his sister too, he keeps looking around like looking for something. Poor boy... anyway, if ben shows sign of HFMD, both of them can play together again, no need to wait for 7 days.

PD said andrea has a mild HFMD, he doesn't know why after more than 5 days this still explode, usually is within 5 days. It's very scary, i don't know if the H1N1 virus still in andrea's body :( I don't know why the virus incubate in her body for such a long time, poor ben always get his sister's sickness. Ben still has flu that he caught it from andrea 4 days ago.

Ben makes me frighten yesterday, he fell from his toy chair and had his labial frenum torn just like his sister. I was so scared, the blood only stops after 20 min, i put so much ice and i have used sooo much gauze. I'm really really scared at that time... right now, i put oral aid for ben and hope for speedy recovery.

Being a mother is not easy, especially with kids that is always sick & naughty