14 August 2009

Random

I hate to feel sorry for myself when i did not achieve/ do a good job that i was suppose to be doing, example married the man for my life, achieve my career milestone, bring up my children the way i want & etc. 

Some people born with good direct officer luck, hence they have good husband & career luck. It's really pitiful that one like me who has weak direct officer luck. It's a shame and a fact that i always trying not to admit it, to succumb to my flaw in my life. How much effort i have put in to chant everyday ever since i've gotten married/ have kids, does this mean i really have to surrender to my failure in these areas without chanting? Does my luck not change since i've chanted so much since young? 

I hate people around me telling me i'm having a good life. Please shut up & mind your own business. Having a good life or not is not you to judge & stop being jealous because i'm not as good as you think. For me being pretty, My husband handsome & earn alot (u think), able to work from home and earn more than you, having a child at a young age, carrying a boy, no need to pay for my own car/ house, etc If you do not have these, you are not even an inch more unhappier than me. 

After marriage, I do not have someone to talk to when i feel really really low, my husband just brush me away or just do not understand. I feel lonely in office & at home sometimes when my husband ignoring me. How long & how far i can go with this condition? You can take me away if you want to, i'm tired, no regrets. 

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