Ben 1st violin lesson

Benjamin love it to bits. When the class ended, I asked him to give teacher a hug before we go, he reluctant, so I thought maybe he doesn't want to give male a hug, so I leave it to him and continue my payment. When done, i said lets go, benjamin suddenly said " i want to go into the room". There is a tug-o-war, I finally gave up and bring him to the room and said, only you and me, what shall we do here. He said "ask teacher to come in". Another tug-o-war, finally he gave teacher high-5 and we left. Arrived at home, he cried again, telling grandparents he wants to go violin class somemore. I hope this passion never dies. 

I hope benjamin could learn the correct way of violin as andrea has many things to fix, I gave up on andrea many months ago and knowing I am the one who created this mess, I need to fix it before it's too late. Bringing her to the suzuki camp does really help and I'm really glad. Thank God. God pls give me wisdom to help andrea to have smooth transition from bad posture to good posture. so it is. 

Yesterday class we learnt about:

1. fingering. 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th fingers

2. violin strings and there are 4 strings on the violin

I love the teacher involve benjamin in everything he do. Doing the puppets, he let ben put it on and remove it on his own. Let ben use the glue to make the box violin. Playing piano and sing to ben, asked ben to sing (fill in the words) too. Teach ben about rhythmic, phew, ben knows! Not bad eh. I'm proud of my little boy :) Ben asked me, "I bring my violin?" before we left the house, i said lets see what teacher said, maybe he needs you to buy a smaller violin. He is so grounded. Love him to bits! 

random

Things has been quite messy the last week, i was feeling very uncomfortable, alot of unknown energies, seeing scary pictures in my head (running for life), overall emotionally not very stable (plus the sky is so gloomy and cloudy the whole week). I asked my healer secretly thru whatssap "is the world going to end physically? I have this strange feeling" He said "No WAY! don't worry the world is not going to end" As me being me, not satisfied with his answer, I really feel it and believe it's going to end (at that moment). Few days later, Elizabeth peru posted something on pluto going direct where all human beings on earth is releasing fears and others (can't remember). Ahhh .. now I understand, maybe in past life, I've gone thru something like tsunami where I couldn't escape and died there, now it's surfacing for me to release :) phew ...

Last 2 days, the sky still gloomy but I feel the sense of lightness, i felt happier, I don't know whats happening again, but since it's a happy feeling I let it continue. The next day the sky is clear, very clear and sun is out oh so brightly, it has been such a long long time. At night I saw 1 star, I asked hubby can you see that star? is that a star, hubby looked and say, cannot be only 1 star in the sky, maybe it's a plane. I said it's not moving!! He said nolah, not stars. Deep inside my heart i know it's a star from sirius, it's telling me something, I kept quiet just knowing. The same night my boy has weird dreams, waking up calling grandpa which is the 1st time happening, saying where is grandpa then in the morning telling hubby the owl took grandpa away or something. He was cranky the whole day and I didn't know what happen until hubby told me that the grandpa became the owl or the owl took grandpa away. oh dear, i was scared initially, but remember the star of sirius, i hold benjamin's hand and say prayer, send the owl to the light because it has frighten benjamin. I didn't feel anything weird so I'm not that worry but sending the owl away for the time being is good, but what is the story lies deep in there? 

The universe still sending people (random) for me to practice talking in layman's term. The universe has been very gentle to me, sending people one by one for me to practice, talk about life, always I feel I do not have the layman words to address their problem or needs. Also when people tells me one thing, i would try to paint the whole picture for them as I do not want them to miss anything on the big picture, where I know I don't have to do that, a small piece of jig saw puzzle is enough for those that have not seek, when they talk to more people the small piece of jig saw puzzle would give them the whole picture. BUT when I see their innocent eyes, I want to give it all to them. I need to remind myself, giving is one thing, but how much they can digest is another, Bit by Bit is the reminder to myself. 

I have posted this on FB the other day when I was feeling uncomfortable:

2 yrs ago (coming to 3), anonymous (my senses told me it's one of my relative) left a judgmental comment on my blog. The whole situation (not just the comment) has shifted me to another place, I'm grateful this had happened. To this anonymous, never be shy to reveal yourself when you want to give opinion. We are all here walking each other home, back to the Source. Namaste

Paste here just in case the anonymous is not in my FB. lol ... yeah I always have doubt when i dwell deeper, that is why always take your answer for your 1st instinct :) whatever, i just feel like pasting it here. Good Morning!

Music Camp

Thankful for all that had happened, I'm embracing all that is unfolding and enjoy every moment of it. I've join this camp organized by Malaysia Suzuki Association on the 16-17 sept. It was told by ms antonella, when I went to the website it's already last day of registration. Thank God there is a space for andrea and I. No regrets, andrea totally enjoy herself and for me, as usual being reminded of good parenting.

1. Andrea seems to be very happy from the inside, look at me & gave me the cheeky smile half way thru the class (many times), making friends on her own, repeating what ms jennifer told her to do when go home. Thanks to hubby taking care of ben and the house where me and andrea could have this experience. 

2. It's really sad that I couldn't meet teachers like the americans. andy was good, but ms jennifer was even better. I could see in andrea's eyes, she needs teacher like this to learn effectively. Oh well, maybe universe is asking me to transform into that instead of Looking Outside

You KNow what!!! the organizer has a music studio at kota kemuning!! It's all timing!! On the last day of concert, we went home early because hubby and I thought what concert by inviting miss universe to sing for us. We left. organizer called me say wanted to pass me the certificate of attendance, i then ask to pick it up from him, he gave me his studio address. We went and fall in love with the place and most importantly knowing that he is multitalented and very humble!! I 'scolded' him by not telling me earlier as I've asked if he knows any studio in kota kemuning having suzuki method. He humbly reply and said he;'s doing this not for money. Great! Next year camp would be in Penang! We definitely going :) 

I've enroll benjamin to suzuki violin, next wednesday 1st class. Lol .. i told him my boy can clap twinkle variation A. He was like WOW .. haha, i said hope you won't vomit blood. We will see how and I really hope music can bring benjamin's harsh temper to a moderate one. As for andrea, I need to fix her posture 1st ... oh GOD please guide me. Nothing is impossible, just like meeting this organizer (i thought he is just an admin) to knowing he owns a studio and does all event management and charity work. Wow ... you know .. life is full of surprises and miracle. Nothing is impossible on earth! 

Stories transform a person state of well being, well at least for me. I received many stories from ms. antonella, she gave the suzuki parenting talk for the past 2 days. What really 'hits' me are as follows:

1. I asked a question of when is the child emotionally stable

I told ms antonella that I handle andrea the japanese method way where shichida method and suzuki has alot of similarity. I told her the parent-child involvement has brought me to a problem where andrea do it to impress me, because i may have encourage or praised her too much. For daily maths practice, if I sit beside her she would do very fast (i time her) and all correct, if I left her doing it alone it would have mistake. For violin if I walk to the kitchen I would hear out of tune, if sitting beside her she would play on perfect tune. I ask her, if she see this is a lack in the japanese method. She told me the american studies said that this is perfectly fine because children will be independent on their own, not when the mother thought she should be. The theory just like, when the child do not suckle the mother's breast, the oral satisfaction = zero, this child would have high chance of being a smoker or drinker. If the child is being pushed away since young, no attention - these children will grow up to me attention seeker or other behavioral problem. She asked me not to worry because all these are medical phycology researched and we are perfectly on the right path. I also asked ms. jennifer, if andrea is 'ready' for violin class as teachers and myself has to correct her every class and she still do not get it (her posture). ms jennifer said, she is only 5 years old, all 5 year old kid are like that. We need to be creative when teaching or practicing with them. 5 year old kid is normal to behave like that. Continue doing what you are doing. Aww ... what helpful advise I get from this camp. 

2. strong willed child.

dr. suzuki told the troubled child (where all teachers refuse to take him in) parents, congratulation! You have a strong willed child. You need to work twice as hard of the ordinary parents because your child will achieve far more than an ordinary child. The strong will character will bring him very very far, please support this child and help him to get there. Of course dr suzuki took this child as his student. I was sadden, I am seriously strong willed but my parents who are still searching themselves when I was born, they suppress me, I may seems strong will on the outside, but I'm actually afraid of doing anything because I was not supported of doing things I wanted to when young, because I always seems to be rude/ rebellious to my parents and teacher when I was younger. I guess my life is to learn this at my thirties, you know what I have a son which is exactly like me. old soul. I hope with the knowledge I have i can bring him further than I have come :) 

all in all, my prayers answered. I got the art class for both my kids. Genioart at kota kemuning. I got suzuki violin class for benjamin at kota kemuning. I need to set new objective and also things I want. Thanks all angels and gods for supporting me, and the fast manifestation for less than 6 months. Maybe I need to set something more tangible like having my 3 mil as soon as possible. haha ... bless be! 

Let Go Let God

Got to know about this song from my sound healing workshop. Stephanie uses this song during our meditation/ toning. I stopped and eyes wide open when i heard the chant in the chorus, I thought my receiver (ear) got problem. for yin yang balance, sound healing - mouth is my output, i thought in order to be more balance the energy needs to do something on my ear (input) too. I couldn't concentrate, and finally had an agreement with myself, let go and if that is really Nam Myo-ho Ren-ge Kyo, God must let me hear another time, now concentrate concentrate. True enough ... my healer played another time, particularly choose this song when the CD finished. Let Go Let God

I was really happy, I don't know why. I bought the CD the next day at hard rocks, mid valley. I started to tell my SGI friends thru FB status and burn CD for my family. as usual some comments. 

1. Christian friend tells me. Great that you have trust in God. knowledge in spirituality/ religion, astrology, bazi etc They are like peeling onions, what you see on the title may not be the same meaning as every human is seeing. I told him, It's not what you are thinking. I always have trust in God but this song is not an christian songs nor any religion songs. SGI is not a religion but they follow nichiren daishonin teaching - every human is a buddha and you have to bring the buddha out from within yourself. Let Go Let God to me is - since we are the buddha (chanting & looking inwards) we have to unblock the energies in our heart, let go of all pains, suffering, worries etc so our heart is pure and healthy hence we can have clearly direction - guided from the heart (God within us). In spirituality, the heart is the power of manifestation, if your heart chakra is clouded, your manifestation state is sadly reduced and you can never follow your heart cos it's blocked. This song to me is purification of MY Heart. 

2. I ask pei what's her interpretation. She told me God to her in the title is external force. I told her, no one is right or wrong, as what we understand and the knowledge we hold at that point of time is perfect for us. As we will grow and evolve from there. The key is to WILLING to grow and let your heart guide you (this is why many layman words - have an open heart means) 

3. mum told me dad said if SGI is true then there won't have people condemn SGI. We all know, we need yin yang balance (good and bad). Since young I already know SGI is the ultimate place for me to hibernate, after going into spirituality, I can conclude SGI is spirituality, that is why they don't call themselves religion. I was one of the 5000 participant on commonwealth games in KL for human graphics. The amount of people in UK who is SGI members cannot fit all in a musical theater hall in London. For those that do not know SGI, it is a seriously huge organization that teaches spirituality (although no one mention spiritual words there) and many miracle happens. miracle happens when the heart is open, surrender and allow the change and life force energy to flow thru. To me it's not miracle but knowing the universe law for human happiness. back to the condemn, we need bad to move forward, making more positive change. When energy is balance (yin & yang, good & bad) the thing can only move forward fast, things we do not want to see is stagnant where people is comfortable where they are. Look at christianity, how many branches - now you know why they are so successful and have so many followers. 

The point I want to make, anything good you see - they have yin & yang BALANCE. The universal key word is BALANCE, have you found your balance. Bad or unhappiness is not necessary bad, as sometimes we need it to balance your life, learn from it - our soul needs it and it's the fuel for us to move forward faster than anyone else. namaste

Mirror effect

Watching how hubby hit andrea because she refuse to listen to stay in the bathroom and in the end vomited on the bed (andrea was coughing non stop). Looking at him, feeling helpless and full of anger, he hit andrea with control and yet full of anger. I saw myself there, in his position ... when I was hitting hubby and the maid respectively. I noticed that, either you are hitting or being hit, it's the same emotional pain the giver and the receiver is experiencing. Giver or receiver has the same childhood memories of being hit and it was embedded into the subconscious mind, when same emotional feelings arise, uncontrollable act to hit or attract someone to hit you. 

Watching hubby yesterday makes me think deeper if I want to break this pattern from my children. I definitely want, but 1st I must break my own pattern to hit and verbally abuse someone when in anger. Stop blaming the kids especially when I have told them and mess occur later on. Sounding them is enough than showing anger and repeatedly remind them their fault (like my mum, argh ...) Kuan yin, lord of karma, please help me to dissolve this as I do not want to bring this on to my next generation. Let them be free and let them shine and fulfil their life purpose without being attached to ancestral karma. I love my children and I pray for the happiness of all humanity. So it is. 

Girl in Year 1

Met some parents in school and have exchange some useful information. I'm really glad and wanted to hug andrea and tell her that mummy is so thankful to you, you have bring so much great experience to me. Of course i didn't tell her that, or else she would thought I'm insane! haha ... Just 2 days I bring her to school and hug her like when she went to SA without ben, andrea show great behavior at home, always wanted to help me clean up when ben mess up. I asked her if this is what teacher taught you in kingsley. She said no ... I know some miracle happening there and I thank god for it. 

1. Having ended up in kingsley is really not my force. The universe force that brings andrea here. I learn that her class teacher is the most experience teacher in year 1 and she is from garden international school. The class teacher will inform me at least 1 thing when I pick andrea up. 

2. One mother child in year 2 told me about international school. I told her my concern about "don't know what they are teaching because looking at the workbook it seems so easy". The mother share her experience where her girls (year 2 and year 9) already in kingsley for the past 1 year. It helps me alot and put me at ease. Things they will be learning are not on the workbook, we will be seeing it every end of the term with thick big file. Every term they have new objective and the student has to meet it in order to PASS. *gulp*

3. I seriously thought kingsley is some average school where it will not make it to the top because of the school fee and promotional package they have offered. Looking at their new school fee and also feedback from some mothers, i think they will move to above average school (just a feeling anyway). How lucky we are, school fee locked until year 11 with andrea. How can I not thank andrea *hugz*. As for ben, I think daddy has to fork out large lump sum of money for him to study here *if the school still performing well* If it's meant to be it will be - I trust it 100%. 

4. All the mothers drive posh cars. Mostly BMW, one mother over took me and went missing on a straight road. WOW ... she drove faster than me X100. Now i know why universe/ hubby bought be a lexus, so that i don't feel inferior when I come to kingsley. AHAHA ... seriously I told hubby i want to settled for prius and he insisted on lexus because it was a very good deal he insisted. I drove in a lexus for 1 month and still has the WOW feeling inside me :) Thank you for the life configuration that makes my life so happy all the time. 

5. andrea brought all the books to school today. No need to bring books to school and will only have homework every tuesday and thursday. Need to buy more kumon books for andrea, so that she has the habit of doing homework at least 2 pages a day. They have a parents-teacher portal, looks so nice. We can message the teacher and vice versa. Thank you for my children, my husband and my life. bless be.