1 Month old checkup

Ben has his second jab today. He weigh 4.2kg (increased by 1.4kg since birth), 53cm tall (born height = 49cm). Overall doc was satisfied with his growth. Ben has been vomiting milk after feed (not alot but enough to wet his shoulder, he even vomit after 30min or after 1hr), i do not know if he is too full or his stomach has became smaller. this starts about few days ago, i asked doc about it, he said it's normal. Hm... i will keep an close eye ....

Ben does not scream so often now, as in changing his nappy or he wanna pee, which is a good thing. Ben likes to suckle and able to sleep longer if not bottle feed. These two nights he is able to sleep 2-4 hrs in one stretch without waking up for milk. I hope he can keep it this way. I'm seriously very tired when he wakes up every hour for milk at night!

Benjamin's Fullmoon

We had Ben's fullmoon dinner at Chef & Brew, we did not opt for catering as we have done previously for andrea. This year hubby feels like only having it celebrated with family & relatives only, hence we have reserved 26 seats at Chef & Brew and had our fullmoon cake made in Just Heavenly.
Ben behaved very well yesterday, he did not cry & he open his big eyes after his 9pm feed. Timing just right for cake cutting & photo taking :) we left the restaurant at 9.30pm, it was okay, not very tiring. I enjoy myself because i get to chat with the guest & do not need to really take care of my two kids :) Mum/ Dad takes care of Andrea & maid takes care of Ben... hehe...

Ben can now move his head from left to right or vice versa when i put him on his tummy. He still drinks 3oz breast milk in 2-3 hours and sometimes (very rarely) stretched to 4 hours. Ben now can awake for longest 2 hours in the afternoon.

Shopping

Nope, it's not full moon yet, but i was itching to go out. I went out shopping last weekend & bought loads of stuff. Saturday we went to pavillion, although it's just 2 hrs shopping, we have spent like crazy, hubby & I bought clothes, many ben's essentials from mothercare & andrea has her little man's pet from thinktoys.

Sunday, we bought andrea to chinese taipei school (kindergarten), however we do not really like that school. Guess has to go out of kota kemuning! After that we went to robinson to buy ben's essentials again. I was very upset because whole robinson was on sale but not the baby bottles section & chicco section. However we just bought what is on the list! GERAM... Later hubby drag me to go giant with him and bought loads of groceries, my maid wrote a LONG list for us too!

What do i get in the end? lumps on my spine/back. My massage lady said my back is very lumpy, she asked what i have done during the weekend! lol... i dare not tell her i went to so many places :p Its good that she has cleared the body acids & i can go shopping somemore this weekend! Need to buy some cosmetic this week, Isetan on sale again!

Christmas decorations were very beautiful in pavillion. It reminds me the time i had in UK. I had white Christmas on my second year study there, it snowed on the Christmas eve, it's so beautiful and all of us went outdoor in the middle of the night. My 1st year, i went to Paris, the lights deco on the streets were beautiful, i remember walking on the pavement, looking at people skating & drinking hot red wine (i don't know if it's red wine, it taste like it, and it was sold along the street). We decorate our house too, my housemate will buy many Christmas decorative item ... we go shopping too... Christmas cards & decoration in the store & streets were very beautiful.

Recovering

I do feel better now - less tired. I had twice a week massage from the day i delivered till now, after 1 month i will be reducing it to once a week until i go back to work. My weight is at 54kg, had lost 11kg thus far. I can fit into my jeans now, i guess its due to the sleepless nights i had last few weeks. Now i have better manage my time, i will nurse Ben at night and mum/maid will bottle feed him during the day. Breast milk consider alot now, i can pump and nurse and still store 1 or 2 via gourmet 6oz cups. Ben is now drinking 3 oz per feed, every 2 hours! He is definitely a big eater because according to babycenter, baby up to 1 month is only drinking 24-26oz in 24 hours! he is drinking 30 over oz per day ....

Many pending items yet to be completed, that contribute to the stress im having now. Maid issue - i must cancel the current maid in order to get the new one (gov rule), or i can ask a letter from doctor to say we have elderly at home (which is cheating). I may not have maid for 1-2 months, that will really cause havoc. Ben's full moon cake, full moon pack, dinner (just family & relatives), clothes etc - yet to be finalized. Going to process passport for ben & renew passport for myself as we are going to Singapore early DEC (hopefully by next week i can get it done). Bring andrea to trial nursery - have yet to call the nursery & fix the date (Hope she will like school). write down a list for things that i need to bring to Singapore, maid is not coming hence i hope everything is OK.

I'm going for Bazi M3&4, i really looking forward to it. Things has been really bad lately, i hope i could have enjoyable days with JY.

Ben sleeps with maid

Andrea had only slept with the maid for 1 night and she is now back with us at night. Ben on the other hand had sleep with the maid for 3 nights, it's good for me as i get some sleep, i just hope i can recover fast so i can fully take over ben at night for good.

I really hate my maid but i could not show anger because i still need her help. I think in my life this is the 1st time i can tolerate someone i hate so much for this long. She would treat andrea good for not more than a week & will start scolding her, threatening her or even beat her hand (andrea told me). Me, Hubby & mum has to always support my stupid maid such as when maid call her for dinner/ lunch/ shower etc, all of us has to be an amplifier so my maid will not get upset and start ignoring andrea! I wonder who is the boss. She is seriously not helping but gave us more pressure.

My retina was cracking last week i think, i could see lights flashing.... gosh... I hope i won't get blind soon.

Andrea sticks to the maid

Andrea now likes the maid, I feel heart broken when she told us she wants to sleep with the maid yesterday night. Is it because she sees daddy and mummy always with benjamin? I really do not want this to happen but it just happened, maybe she finds comfort in the maid now :( I really do not have anyone to help me to take care of ben & to spend more time with my poor girl.

Benjamin 10 days old

Benjamin can scream really loud and it always frighten all of us, either when changing nappy or he wants his feed... sometimes poo & urine will also scream his lungs out. I wonder if output star = fire characteristic will be like this. It's really scary when u see him out of breath!

Ben can now awake for 30min the longest and will fall back to sleep again. Ben can also lift his head up when i put him on my shoulder, he seems to be quite strong for his age.

I breastfeed him exclusively, but he never seems enough. The mouth is always looking for milk! However i know he is too full already, cos a few times i fed him until he vomited! Maybe he just want to suckle. Daddy is very good in burping him. At night, he wakes up every 2 hours for milk.

Ben's circumcision wound healed after one week, it looks much more nicer now. Previously all of us were so afraid of touching it, because it's all red! The dried umbilical cord just dropped this morning, however he still yells when we change his nappy. I wonder it still hurts.

Disaster

Ben discharged today, results at 8. I was of course happy but not till when i reached home.

There is a huge fight between my mum and my maid (being a middleman is killing, especially im still feeling weak), and andrea was not happy (she was OK when ben was away in hospital) - kept on crying, my sink got stuck, my thermos broken, Ben was having green stool & having slight fever. It really drives me crazy when i have to deal with this emotional trauma alone.

I just hope i could get more rest & more peaceful days ahead.

Visiting Ben

I think i do not have affinity with Indians, not that i'm racist but it just happen all the time. My workplace, the A&E MO from DSH & the nurse in the special nursing care. They just drive me up the walls.

The Indian nurse ask if i carried my son too much at home because he refuse to sleep under the light & has been carrying out many times in an hour. Keep on saying he has got not enough milk or is not satisfied because his mouth keep on moving despite has already fed him. How would i know! you are the nurse you should be taking care of him and not question me! She even tell me if keep on like that ben's condition will not improve fast. Argh.... I'm already stressful don't give me additional stress!

It's really heart broken when you pay a visit to your kid but the nurses there was not so helpful. The feeling is that, they will torture your son more than taking good care of him.

Ben has jaundice

Ben admitted to hospital today, i feel so sad to see my baby being left alone in the hospital. I fed him before i leave & he was not asleep when i was about to leave. He's home for a week and was not used to be 'blinded' by the nurse before putting under the UV light. Why babies have jaundice? Sigh... I felt so heart broken to be apart with ben.

Hubby just called, he said ben was OK to be 'blinded' when hubby sent the milk just now. We will be going to visit ben today at 8pm & feed him. I hope he will be alright by tomorrow, cos doc said that 2 days ben has to stay, hopefully the results will be lower than 10 tomorrow & we can all go home together. Fingers crossed.

Ben's jaundice blood test showed 14.1 this morning & weight 2.9kg. Good weight gain doctor said - birth weight = 2.83kg (after just 1 week)

In Labour

The unbearable pain came in at 2am, well it's not really 100% unbearable, but i must have really deep breath for it when the pain strike! I took the TENS machine from my mum earlier & was wearing it since 12am. As i didn't want to go to hospital in the midnight, so i guess i could wear them to pull thru the night & of course i thought it was just braxton hicks, cos the contraction was not really that regular. It varies from 7min to 10min. It is really confusing!

at 2.15am i told my husband that i cannot tahan till 6am, we have to go now because the TENS machine does not help much by then i feel. So we arrived hospital at 2am, i was thinking to myself, GOSH another round of midnight epidural, i hope that dr. will not be as sleepy as last time :(. The mid wife checked me at 3am and said i'm 7cm dilated and it's too late for epidural!!! I have to bear with the pain! I dind't have the chance to clear my bowel too! yucks!

my gynae came in after 10-15min & baby was delivered after 30min (from the time we arrived at hospital & delivered)! what a fast process, but it was really painful. I scream my lungs out, the midwife asked me not to shout! haha... laughing gas did helped abit i guessed.. i'm not sure. This is the 1st time i've experienced the labour pain & i'm surely do not want it to happen another time. Time to close shop ....