Process of Resignation

I really do not want to talk about it because it's painful. I just hope I will just get away quickly and done with it quickly. Like every morning, I woke up, lie in bed. This morning i woke up at 5, wide awake, I don't know why ... I cried so much yesterday, I thought i would be very tired. Maybe I have invoked the goddess when crying hence woke up at 5 feeling refreshed. I lie in bed as usual, thought can fall back to sleep (i only develop this a year ago, which i really hate ppl who doesn't get up when they woke up, there goes ... I'm one of the kind I admit) Anyway, I pull my lazy butt up at 6.15am, i chant a little then meditate on the divine seed pearls. I 'saw' that my third eye was cloudy, i spent more time on it but it still look cloudy. Hm ... i told myself that i can 'clean' it another day.

I didn't put alot of hopes for today. I forgot to pull the card of the day, well ... I was as usual lecturing the maid in the morning. arghh ... anyway, I arrived office. My colleague asked if I have eaten, i said NO! really didn't buy anything, i thought I want to starve myself this morning, but universe send someone to invite me for breakfast. I had breakfast, on the way up after breakfast. My stand-in manager was inside the same lift, she told me that - Your Country Emerging Leader Program has APPROVED! I was like, OK .. thanks. Deep inside myself I was thinking, SHITE!! I went to my desk and has a very strong urge to go tell her actually i wanted to resign. I went to her room, sat down and told her, she told me "i don't know what to say". Yeah! Because you are so protective of my other colleague so you pray so hard for me to leave!! But when i think deeper, actually she does help me too - help me to communicate the program to my new executive. Suddenly everything seems to fall into place nicely. 

Deep inside me, I really do not want to wait any longer. If you can give then give ppl mgr and band 8. If cannot give then it's fine. She ask me if anything can make me stay, i told her that. Her face looked not very helpful and ask me to tell the executive myself. I have chosen a remove day which is Friday. I hope this issue will be removed FOREVER! It has been 4 years!! Enough of persevere I feel. Well, I believe that if it's mine it's mine. I need to work on other things in my life if this is not meant for me. I seriously Need a CHANGE for a better!