what is my role

I'm a perfectionist, I tried very hard not to be one. 

My friends are confident to leave their kids with nanny,

My friends are not worried about the food their kid is eating,

My neighbor told me - they only have responsibility on their own children not ours - how true

Thank you GOD for sending these people to remind me that whatever happens, life goes on

I was having hard time this week, changing of new environment and facing with uncertainty in my career. I know myself, I could consider as a career minded person. I strive to get above average contributor rating every year, I look for improvement every year - not for the $$ but for my career satisfaction. The only 1 thing that I really want to is to become a people manager because that is a huge area that I can improve myself. I need self improvement after 4 years of output. I don't know what my life purpose is because that may be conflicting with what I want in this lifetime. I hope kok wai can help me with this. 

I don't mind letting go the career I have if managing people is not the area I need to improve this lifetime. My maid doesn't show capability in taking good care of my son, I have worries all the time and loathe myself that I do not have a perfect solution to what I want to do and how I want my kids to live - because I do not have any choice. My maid cook shit for lunch, I did not make noise because my son eats it. Do i have a choice and perfect solution for my perfectionist self? I know .... life goes on .... I hate parents who do not take good care of their kids and never give the kids opportunity to grow (enrichment classes) ... how unfortunate I'm one of them now.