Sometimes I feel my maid is very capable, sometimes she really drives me up the wall. I said so many nasty things to her and I hate myself being like that. I tried to be nice to her, so many times and so many ways. Always after I treated her good, GOD always send me her fault, makes me feel so foolish for treating her good just now or just yesterday. I don't know what life lesson she has to learn but I know I need to learn mine too.
Mine is not to say nasty things to her but how much I can control, the more I wanted to control, the more I've gone out of control. This morning I added MORE harsh words just because my mum was at my house. I even feel like beating her up and I can feel my anger were up to my crown and my boy run to the island top and hide behind the island table. How to control my anger when Benjamin keep crying and shouting in the morning for almost 2 weeks and he has just vomited consecutive (fri-sun) 3 days last week. I am worried about my boy because no one can help me, I have to depend on my maid so heavily and now it seems like I'm an irresponsible mum. I told my husband, he has no solution. I told my mum, she said she will monitor. I want to quit working but my husband still yet to show me his capability. What can i do? I have no choice ... shall I just quit without thinking too much? Right now at this moment, my kids are important to me, so is money. Am I ready to let go of my high salary and become a SAHM? What my life will become?
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