Rotan

I cane andrea yesterday night, i know i shouldn't do it based on shichida method, GD & Tweedle Wink. I have to say sorry cos i really cannot control myself. The crying is driving me crazy & recently i became super superstitious because i can't find WHY am i going thru this (work & family is driving me nuts)

Andrea behaves very good today, did not cry when i send her to school & did not fuss over small little things the whole day. Daddy also did a good job by prepping her in the middle of the night.

I finally chant to Gohonzon yesterday night because i feel i seriously cannot control my heart & soul anymore. Alpha wave CD does help but it does not give me a solution, it only helps me to control my temper but it's not long term solution. After andrea slept, i went to gohonzon & start chanting.. cried initially because i fail to control my emotion again & began to feel strong because somehow someone telling me that "anger" has cause me this much pain.

I think back, i was such an angry person since benjamin's birth.. im angry with my old maid, my confinement lady, my mum, my husband, my boss, andrea, benjamin & myself. I did not have any solution either yesterday, at least i find my root cause, i will continue to chant to gohonzon today to fix my anger. I tell myself i cannot feel like this again & I'm confident that by chanting Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo can help me get back on my own feet again.