Wishes

Never once in my life, I would appreciate things people give me or praise me or be happy for me. UNLESS, those things I expect it to happen or I demand for it. Life to me is quite miserable, so to speak - because I never really enjoy what is happening around me and surprises that people gave it to me. To me, everything has to be in control and not a string of hair could drop without my command. I have lead a very stressful and unhappy life throughout my 30 years, after starting meditating due to physical pain that I cannot endure, I've learnt to be more 'open'. 

Hubby is the person who show me how to take life easy, how to handle tremendous pressure, how to enjoy people's admiration & wishes, how to have successful business with good relationship etc I do not have all these skills in my life, because I was taught to be solitary (it's OK to be alone. don't spent too much time with your friends because they cannot help you to succeed. spend enough time for yourself. your friends cannot help you with your problem etc) My heart chakra is closed because of this mindset, my connection/ relationship with other human being is poor, I'm unable to love other human being with open heart and I'm not very happy deep down inside myself.

Things started to change after i've started reiki. On my birthday, 90 people on facebook greeted me, 20 people text me on my mobile - for once I felt warmth and happiness. I'm glad that people made the effort to greet me happy birthday. The old me? I would have no feelings towards all these. This time I made the effort to put down their birthday on my calendar, i make sure I text them on their birthday too - those who have text me on my mobile. Those on FB - 90 is too much for me, will check the birthday regularly and wish them happy birthday :) I feel more connection with people now. Which is a good start I feel

My Birthday

I'm 30 this year!! I can't believe I'm here on this earth for 30 years already - 1/3 milestone or 1/2 of this life has gone. I'm not sure if i'm gonna stay here till 60 or 90 years old. Anyway - as a goal orientated freak, I'm not sad at all - for that I'm 30 already. What I've achieve and What I will achieve for the 1/2 or 2/3 of my life. 

Achieved:

1. an obedient and helpful kid to my parents

2. I achieve all of my goals which I have power over

3. Career goals all met for the first 6 years

Want to Achieve:

1. share love to everyone around me

2. be a wise mother & bring up wise + successful children

3. love my husband more

4. Career - become people manager

5. Be healthy. Stay calm. Stay Positive

Organization Skills

Have been reading more about brain (left, right, whole), this is very interesting to me - I would love to share it with mothers who read my blog. 

"Organization skill is very important for a child’s future planning ability, sense of responsibility, and even positive attitudes. Usually, a child’s organizational skill is closely connected to his visual processing skill. This is because when a child is able to visualize (how to pack his stuff, how he should sort his things, etc), he is also able to understand and plan for bigger things (goal settings) and to achieve the fundamental attitude required for attaining his goals." extracted from adeline's website

I am what I am today, I can see that my parents made me very organized since young. Although I have maid since 5 years old, I have to wash my own shoes, clean my own room (sweep & mop), cannot ask maid to get me water, wash own dishes etc. My dad on the other hand, teach me time management (even go to workshops), goal setting, to-do list etc.

How to start with Andrea? here's a website given by adeline. Shall pick one or two from there! 
Another one to motivate young adults children

andrea July shichida

I'm with andrea this month, we are now with sensei kin:

(1) rushing for homework like mad at home [shichida worksheets, mandala, image drawing] - all because Sensei Kin made a remark that andrea does not submit homework diligently on her report book. Bad Mummy!

(2) starting linking memory again at home. Sensei Kin asked did I practice it at home, i said no and asked the test would be on which set. She said any set. Well, maybe she saw the disappointment on my face, she said she will test the set that I do at home. hahaha... super kiasu I've sounded.

(3) ESP is almost perfect for andrea in every class

(4) Flash Memory is OK, Space Memory is OK, Linking memory is weak

(5) Left brain activity is OK for all except for addition - still need to work on it. I must get Hubby to watch my lazy bum, after sometime I don't know when I stop flashing the addition cards to her :( 

Andrea still enjoying shichida. Shall I start Heguru? Kiasuness comes back again! Well .... I did consider it but need to settle down in my new house 1st. See how it goes. Right brain is something you need to train - just like meditation, you can't see immediate results but the results is AMAZING. That's my own personal opinion. When can i start teaching andrea meditation? Just to keep record, I've got all the ESP correct during andrea's shichida class too. My right brain has somehow activated - the effect of meditation I feel

Ben on the other hand, RUSHING for worksheets too. 6 months worksheet still pending. STRESS! My boy has just started develop the interest to do homework. Luckily I do not have to keep the worksheets for 1 year!

Weekend

Andrea vomiting has made me so worried. Friday after dinner, Saturday after lunch, Sunday after breakfast :( Saturday i never thought it would be this serious, i cooked fried pasta for both of the kids, afternoon when I'm back from my new house shopping, maid told me andrea vomit after her nap time milk. I thought it was the milk, hence ignore and cook broccoli cheese rice for dinner. Sunday morning, after the yakult, she vomit every thing out including my hard boiled eggs :( I got scared and i cooked porridge (lunch & dinner)  for her, didn't dare to force her to eat alot, only half of what she normally eats. She didn't vomit her lunch & dinner on Sunday.

I was quite stressed when the kids are not well. However, going shopping to pick up the groceries at isetan has always made me a happy bunny. I don't know why, there is only one place i like to go, isetan-KLCC. I don't know why. In UK, i always go to Marks&Spencer for groceries, I just feel attracted to that place I feel so much at ease to shop over there. I would say the FRUITS quality is the best buy-in for me. Hubby always said I'm crazy to buy such expensive fruits, but i don't care lah, i really enjoy buying it :p 

Dinner time we went to ben's again at KLCC. Love that place, all their dishes are good! i bought some macaroons from Harrods KLCC, 6 pieces for RM23. Nice! I love it .... Better than the one in Ritz Carlton Sunday Brunch. That's all that I've ever tasted :) I don't really like macaroons because it's too colourful & very sweet (really bad for health i feel). The one from Harrods are just nice, not TOO sweet. Well, andrea wants it, so I just gave it a try :) Not a bad move afterall!

SV - 17Jul11

Violin class has become a bit stressful for me. Dr. Ng doesn't have a systematic teaching approach and I feel he has lost half of the interest in our group teaching because many student has left and he did not keep a record of where he has stop for the previous lesson. 

Victor, andrea's violin mate has a sister, he played very well and is always ahead of the class. He is now 4 songs ahead of andrea, because Dr. Ng never keep track of where he has left, he has followed victor's space. Weekly i have to rush to teach andrea memorize the song before playing, this happens for more than a month now, I want to put a stop to it. I just recently watch a video on youtube - twinkle variation is to teach children rhythm. all the songs has it's purpose and something to teach the children. "o come little children" to teach children up bow to start the song. All these Dr.Ng never emphasize and all i feel is rushing for new songs, which i felt very disappointed. 

I was very grateful that Dr.Ng has was andrea's 1st violin teacher. He is very interactive and always praise the children which gave them alot of motivation & confidence in playing violin. He is very experienced. I just hope things will turn out better. I've decided to end the group class. I will teach andrea myself for now, until she can read the notes and get all the learnt technique correct, we may join back Dr. Ng next time if there is still affinity :)

Opportunity again?

Exactly one year, someone called me for job opportunity again! I have a bad feeling, because it didn't turn out well exactly a year ago with shell, and also the job description is system analyst. I doubt it, hence i ask the HR if she is sure she has contacted the correct person because I have no technical background. HR told me they already had internal discussion, i was like Okay. HR continue saying they did a search on CRM SDD, and found my CV on jobstreet, i was like Okay. HR said she will send me the JD and asked me to go thru it and reply her if i'm interested. The funny part is, I went back and look at the JD and even search online (The JD she sent me is exactly the same as her company website) - but no 'CRM SDD'. Okay lah, CRM SDD is my thing, I can close my eye and do it, If they think I can do it, why not! hahaha ... but like i said, i tend to attract false opportunity in July, we will see how it goes this time. 

I love this company! I was so excited when they called. 

HR: Hi Ms. Eow, I'm calling from Digi telecommunication. Are you convenient to talk?

Me: erm, actually I'm using maxis

HR: Oh. actually there is an job opportunity for you in Digi

Me: Oh. Sorry "blush"

HR: *Continue talking*

How embarrassed!

Avillion Port Dickson

It was an impromptu decision to go Avillion Port Dickson. Since I've not been before, I will not decline :) We went in a big group, 3 families with kids plus 1 single man. The drive was pleasant because kids were sleeping in the car, hehehe ... The shocking thing happen was the Lobby's full upon our arrival! There is an oil&gas company's family day event, quickly we make our way to check-in as soon as possible. It does feel like a wet market with full of people when I arrived.

Avillion Port Dickson - Villas Room

Our room is just in front of you

At our balcony

Room with 2 Singles and 1 Queen (day bed)

Although it's a 5 star (according to hubby), the food was so so only. Overall the staff is helpful and the place is clean but I've no idea why there are ALOT of house fly, one irritating house fly was in my room throughout my stay, I have to make sure ben's bottle is always close. For the price of RM600 per night, i would say it's EXPENSIVE, but if you like the beach and had no time for PLR. This is the only choice. 

all about DNA

Many months ago, i have bookmark this  particular page. I've just read it today and it reinforced the message "Positive thinking & action". I've read many spiritual books and it somehow appear on this page. 

Copy from the page

"The #1 common new ability between people will be enhanced ability to manifest circumstances into their experience. Due to this, those who believe in a doom and gloom future for themselves will begin to manifest mass quantities of bad stuff into their life. This will also come in the form of other negative people who are also manifesting their own bad stuff. This is how they get congregated into geographic locations. By the law of attraction, they are so much alike that it just ends up that way.

On the contrary, the opposite holds true for the optimists of the world. They will all begin to manifest mass quantities of positive stuff. This will also come in the form of other people who are manifesting good. Then these groups by natural law end up in the same geographic locations.  If something happens in your life that causes you to have to move to another location, don’t push against it. If you do, you might end up surrounded by the wrong crowd."

My Findings: 

1. Kelly Howell guided relaxation mention about DNA healing - I was confuse why she want to mention DNA. This page shows that DNA affect human greatly

2. Read soul psychology - I was confuse about the 3rd dimension, 4th dimension, 5th and so on. Now i understand the DNA plays an important role for these changes of dimensions

3. KW mentioned that for year 2012 is not the end of the world, those people will commit suicide because they cannot take what is happening to them. This page further explain the DNA Shift cause the subtle energies (all of the memories and emotional baggage is stored from this life time and others) to be purge from our system. All low frequency suppressed emotions and memories began flooding to the surface, almost everyone on earth experienced this. If we do not allow it, we either not going to make it, or are headed for a full on fragmentation of consciousness.

4. Now i fully understand what I've been thru is a purging of emotional baggage and I know it hasn't finish yet because just got introduced to Kelly Howell mp3. This is my second phase of DNA shift clearing I think - listening to Kelly Howell can really reprogram my subconscious mind. This i have yet to confirm, but i can 'feel' is working for me.   

note: If you have not realized it, it's good to think and act positive now - as this is a tough job to do, we need to help each other and remind each other for a better life.

Tuesday

Feeling refreshed this morning, had time for 1 hour healing meditation + stretching. Ben and Andrea was very cooperative, they didn't wake up or make a fuss when I was busy meditating + stretching. Kids woke up at 7.15am, rushed for preparing breakfast + packing my stuff. Left home at 7.40am. Andrea sang the whole perpetual motion by herself - that makes me more happy. We arrived 8.15am today and had sometime to read her story book. That's what we do everyday morning if we arrived early. we bid our good bye at 8.40am. 

Colleague was feeling lousy, so we took a walk at 10am. I bought my favorite Starbucks hot chocolate. Enjoy the drinks - had some followup to do - chasing and ticking to-do on my list. Feeling satisfied. Had lunch with my ex-teammate, had good chat. Bought groceries at Jusco before picking up andrea. Andrea has been eating fast, everytime i arrive at 1pm she already finish, so i went their earlier today - 12.50 arrived, also finish already. Great! I had more time to chit-chat at my mum place before going home for work. 

Stop by at new house. Everything looking great. Today the tiles-man going to finish up their work, next would be wall painting. Poor hubby has to run up and down just to meet the contractors timeline, he handles everything (luckily he's a ji earth, i don't think i can handle such stress), I'm always happy to go to the new house just to see the nice progress and nice people working for my house. I bought drinks for them everytime I go. I feel grateful they don't scream or shout or show grumpy face while working. lol ... create good qi for my new house.

Sing

I love singing but I'm not good. Looking at these boys singing "I have a dream" makes me feel contentment and I truly admire them :) That's my next plan to send andrea to vocal class. Singing is an emotional expression, the least emotional baggage you carry, the more you can release in many ways, you will be a happier and healthy person in general. Don't keep your sadness, anger, disappointment, worries, frustration etc - RELEASE ...... Life is Beautiful :)

people who irritates you

This week my wisdom taught me that, no matter who irritates you [how much you wish you never see them again or how you wish they stop acting in certain way], you must find a way to dissolve it. This is particularly hard for me to 'dissolve' the feelings (some may find it easy), I've done something wrong yesterday by telling my colleague about my maid issue. I've unintentionally emitted the negative conversation to her, she seems empathy - after talking for 15min (to me it's VERY long) i immediately change topic. I also have one irritating colleague because i find her fake and loves to manipulate people around her, including me making a fool out of me etc. I had to suppress my feelings because I cannot refrain myself from talking or having lunch with her - it may create more problem in the future. Hence, coming to office may trigger my uneasiness anytime.

The problem does really lies with me, I do not only have these problem outside but also with my husband. I always told my husband when the time is here, we will stop arguing, when we need to go separate ways we will without having to go thru much trouble. I have been wanting to heal myself, i know my problem is that I do not have enough love for myself (my husband and many of us also have this problem, that is why I'm attracting these people to my life). Everyday morning healing, i heal my heart the longest - hoping that my heart chakra can be open & repair itself. Until I was introduced to Kelly Howell recently, i hope her attract love can help me to transform faster (loving myself more and attract people with lots of love). Her guided healing is wonderful, after 30min i immediately feel loosen up and my body is fluid. simply amazing.  

People who irritates you is not because of that person, it's us who does not have a concrete base for LOVE. LOVE is not what you think it is, it's more than what you think. Meditate and find it out for yourself. Let your angels guide you. God Bless. 

The truth about life

I saw this on FB last Sunday, immediately I felt his emotion and empathize. Partly because I've been thru it (i guess everyone has said this to themselves at least once in their life) and partly because I know him personally. All of us make decision in life base on our judgement, what we want in life, what other would see in us, etc. Not many make decision based on PASSION. This is because most of our parents told us that PASSION would not make money or you must listen to parents or were told that we are too naive to think this is the perfect job/ house/ car/ business/ etc to have in this lifetime.

We have unconsciously limiting our inner power. Hence we felt helpless. Any path that you choose is correct, you do not have to doubt yourself. Believe in yourself - maximize your inner power and shine like a sun. My heartfelt prayers to all humankind who is in doubt. I've been thru that, what I can advise is to - get Brainsync mp3 to help you - if you don't know how to meditate. Find peace within yourself, you will know what to do. Your angels are ever ready to help, just tell them what to do. 

Doctors are healers for all humankind. Why on earth the government had to treat them like that? GOSH! I still cannot accept it .... 

Healing Circle

I'm really bless with alot of things in life, I have never heard and came across with healing circle. This is my second time and it is really a great group support for reiki practitioner. The second healing circle allow me to meet with other reiki practitioner who has already completed their reiki module, i had alot of questions and beside KW answering, I really appreciate the higher level practitioner answered my questions too. This gives me confidence to continue my reiki journey. Thank you everyone in the group yesterday.

1. I was feeling really not myself for the past month. Although bazi indicate recognition and all that but it was day breaker for me for the whole month. I expect many irritation and uneasiness, hence I let those feelings come and go without much attention given, until one point i lost passion in morning healing. I was feeling rather tired because i would sleep until 7 am but still need a nap in the noon. I know something is not right. I asked about my condition, 2 of them told me they have same experience, because you are too used to the energy hence you can't feel it that strongly now. I stated meditate this afternoon

2. I had dizziness again? I don't know what happen, could be the oily rice during weekend lunch, could be working too hard for denbulb, could be after scolded my maid on Saturday, could be my unknown sickness is revealing. Gosh .... Afraid of death? Yeah maybe, but I learn to prepare my own death. I just do not like the feeling of being sick - feel so helpless and hoping someone would catch you when you fall. I'm so thankful that my dad could fetch andrea today, so I can meditate at home. Burn Epsom salt and meditate for 1 hr and sleep for another hour. I hope reiki energy can heal the unknown dizziness. Or else i need another round of medical checkup :(

3. What I learn during the healing circle - detox yourself (place hands on r sacral, front & back), improve your hand sensing/ scanning (meditate only on one finger), try Kelly Howell mp3s (going to buy soon - something like inner talk), when you feel the connection before you sleep - let it run, not harmful - always put up golden protective bubble (i asked this question, was too stupid to cut it off because i read somewhere that says other 'stuff' is using ur energy, hmph ...), that's all .....

Body Parts

Benjamin can even point the body parts you say to him on YOUR body! How cool :) He can even say 70% of the words below:

1. Head

2. Hair

3. Forehead

4. Eye

5. Eye Brow

6. Nose

7. Mouth

8. Tongue

9. Teeth

10. Chin

11. Neck

12. Shoulder

13. Hand

14. Fingers

15. Belly

16. Belly Button

17. bum bum

18. Knees

19. Leg

20. Toes

1 Year 8 Months 1 Week old

Welcome July!

July is my birthday month :) Hectic June has passed and I hope house renovation will go on smoothly without budget explosion! hahaha ... I do not have photos on my house renovation, I've realized that I'm not very good in enjoying the process/ journey in every aspect of my life, I just want the end results. There is good and bad - good thing is I won't have time thinking of the past, all I do is moving forward and achieve more. Bad thing is I've missed alot of good memories - right now I learn to keep good memories with my family, other stuff can just fly by, I don't really care of the process anyway :) 

updates on the house, we have so many contractors coming in and out for the past 1 week. Renovation started about 17 working days now. wet works are all done, electrical wiring done, piping done. Next - plaster ceiling, floor tiles, painting & sliding doors. Then we are ready to order kitchen cabinet and start asking my furniture men to deliver my furniture. Hope by early September my curtain men is ready to advise  us the colour. Went to philip at mutiara damansara bought RM500 light is more CHEAPSKATE (outer look is really nice but inside is CHEAP) than IKEA RM200. Who say ikea sell cheap and no quality things?

I'm going for healing circle on Sunday (can't wait!). We are going to Port Dickson next weekend for hubby's friend gathering. I have alot to do on my Internet stuff [if you are not full time it's really taxing :(]. Andrea's violin show case at Bentley end of the month! Work still the same no change - Thank God. I feel exhausted because hubby has been acting impatient and confuse all the time because of the new house renovation. I need to tell myself to separate from him, I feel emotional attack and become impatient and confuse like him in my everyday life. Phew... negative energy get AWAY from me !!!

Lost concentration

I have been blur for the past 1 week. I don't know what happen to me, I did not struggle, I just let my body adjust itself, It must have some major adjustment which I believe it would be good. Concentration span is really short and I find my mind to wanders alot lately and morning meditation has cut down to zero. Lazy lah I know, but he last time I meditate, i feel that the energy is not strong, so i also feel no motivation ..... 

Today I over shot for the road to andrea's school, actually last two days also over shot. I have to made U-turn for the both days. [mind wandering]. Yesterday I went and buy bread & drinks for my renovation workers at the petrol station, one man walking behind my car and i cannot see him, i REVERSED! Luckly i did not kill him. Just then i saw one car beside me looking at me and shake his damn head (Indian). I ignore him and started to reverse again, one FAST car just drove past behind me. AIYOO .. what happen .. I don't know... [mind is not wandering at that time]. At night had terrible headache and stomachache after reading one article on FB [suddenly and I don't know what happen too... hmph]

Last week was mothercare sale, I bought many toys and clothes for the kids. The clothes that I bought for ben is 12-18months! What was I THINKING?! Hmph ... I was too lazy to go and change, hence I ask the maid to let ben wear as much as possible. Ben is already 20 months :( My mind still set ben at 1 year old! Why am I so forgetful and no concentration? Third eye is block maybe, however my physical eye is not too good either! aiyoo.. when will the energy get balanced?! I keep feeling there is dark energy around me, but i don't know what it is. Need to chant liao! coming to 2 weeks is getting too much!

Eye check up

Since 3 years ago, I follow hubby to Kimpo-do optical at KLCC isetan for eye checkup + making glasses. I find that their price is quite OKay after considering isetan rebate + discounts. They have many frames from japan available there. Maybe it's just me, I like to buy things from 'big' company because I hate negotiating price and also afraid of the inferior quality they offered + warranty they've promised. 

I need to re-stock my daily contact lens, I went to paris miki because they have offer for contact lens [3 pairs extra compared to other shop]. The sales man ask me to take acuvue trueye instead, hence he gave me 5 pairs to try on. It was not very comfy, see some glares, headache after 2 days (maybe it's not the eye). went back to the shop on Monday, he advised me to check my power, hence remove my contact lens for 30min and start checking - results? -100 increased on my right eye! 

IT FREAKS ME OUT!! I'm very worried and unhappy. I blame myself for using my iphone before sleeping & after waking up. I know I shouldn't do that but I still doing it (self-punishment). I've asked hubby to bring me back to kimpo-do to just re-confirm my power increased. I'm glad that hubby make time for me because i was feeling uneasy the whole day. We arrived kimpo-do at 8.30pm - results? only -25 increased, i asked him to double check and he explain many things to me.

1. Red or Green clearer - red pop out [power given is less]. green pop out [power given too high]

2. When I need to change my glasses/ replace new power for my contact lens - when we cannot read line 0.8
3. I actually do not have dominant eye [i don't know if this happens after the spiritual restructuring or it has been like that all the while]

I'm so glad I do not have to do anything to my power. I will just order my old power for contact lens and drop that trueye too! hpmh ....nightmare!!!

Internet Workshop 2

Yeah, i went to more Internet workshops although previous class doesn't seems to help me much. When I'm in that hole, I seem to enjoy digging, what's wrong with me. hahaha ... having nearly 30% increment helps me feel much better after spending 5 figure in this so-called money making Internet channel. What I've learn: 

1. Nano, Macro & Fusion sites

2. driving traffic + making money

That's the core of it. 1st workshop was with Jazlai, 2nd workshop with JohanMok. They claim that JohanMok is the maters for all the Internet gurus that you have heard of. Hmm.. I really dunno leh, but what Johan had shared is really more to the basics and from there I can expand to what I really like doing. 1st workshop is like forcing to sell his product - until today I did nothing on selling because I don't like Internet marketing niche :(

My Thoughts: I learn alot of basics for this workshop, It's like prayer being answered. Initially i wanted so badly to go for NST Internet workshop but it was FULL. This is more like NST Internet workshop talks about SEO, what to do and inform about current situation (google is closing down ALOT of Internet marketing stuff - you tube and websites are being shut down without informing). I hope my site will not be shut down after typing their names on my blog, hahaha.... whatever it is, making money online is not that simple. Many hard work and strategy needed. Nothing is easy anyway - for a start. this workshop has spiced up my life, giving me some new stuff to do :)

20 months old

(1) Starting to say more 2 letter words - honey, bye bye, happy, carrot, boon boon (grandpa)

(2) Many singular word - room (mushroom), dog, nice

(3) Do puzzles - loves to do the 9 piece puzzles but need help, he can do the shapes puzzles by Melissa & dough all by himself

(4) Loves to drink fruit juice and barley water - can drink up to 4 bottles in a day

(5) Forcing him to do shichida homework right now - once a week

(6) Many accident during the day (pee), he can tell when he pee on his pants and hold the pee until i bring him to the potty (half urine on his pants, half in the potty)

(7) Skip his afternoon nap - only morning nap for now

(8) Stick to me like a glue - everyday 'mimi' (mummy) - for everything

(9) Start drinking coke, teh ais and other restaurant drinks

(10) Obedient boy who always listen to mummy & daddy

1 year 8 months old

Teachers along my life

I'm really grateful to have alot of 'teachers' who taught me little things about life. I have good foundation of receiving advise because my dad always tell me that he is just an average student and always ask himself why other people are better than him (in all aspect). One thing my dad taught me is to ASK, there is no need to be shy because this is only ONCE that you do not know. Many people dare not ask and they would not know the answer for the rest of their life (in all aspect). My dad gave me confidence when i need encouragement and I always open for advise and ever ready to learn from other people. Thank you DAD! 

With this approach since young, I met with numerous helpful people. I was not the best student in school but was manage to get above average score during my school days. UPSR 3A, PMR 5A, SPM 3A, A-levels 1A(maths) [total 3 subjects], Uni 1st class Honors. I hardly study because i hate sitting on the desk, i don't enjoy biology and history because they are very dry to me. I don't like to spend hours to just solve 1 addmaths problem. My approach to study? Give me the essence, give me the solution - i will work backwards. All along school days, all my best pals are my teachers, they fed me with all the essence & solutions - they are my angels. They are my noble people. 

My dad is a very result orientated person. He is GM of one company, hence working life to me is just performance & end results. I don't have people relationship skills. I started working in 2004 august (one month after my graduation) and obviously I'm very result orientated - money wise. Dad advise me to take whatever job i can get and aim for a better one next time, i took that advise and begin my career with ISO consultant. This led me to IBM job then Citibank and back to IBM regional job. ISO consultant, IBM country role and citibank working environment is very result orientated - I learnt very fast and is very satisfied with my pay too. All my bosses are like my dad - capable and results orientated and they took care of me by giving me advise to perform better. Everyone of them. 

2008 I came back to IBM for regional role. That is where my steep learning curve begins. I hated all my boss because they are not results orientated [in my view only - cos this is a sales department] - they put their 100% focus on making sales, hence my role to them is just secondary to the business. I gave birth to ben and there is another steep learning curve. What is the leanings that I cannot open up to since 2008?? People relationship skills. I kid you not! I learnt that 3 years by hating everyone in the department and affected my personal life - until I scream for help - hoping GOD would shed some light. I read so many books, I attended so many spiritual workshops and I meditate. 

I recovered in 2011 - physically and mentally. Looking back, all my bosses since 2008 had showed me excellent people relationship skills (last time i look down on them because to me they only make good relationship but cannot do their work well - I'm so wrong and I want to apologize for this judgement). GOD is really kind to send Noble People to me all my life and I got blinded because of giving birth to andrea in 2007 - my life seems to be out of the healthy radar. I'm so glad that I've picked myself up now and will continue  learning from my 'teachers'. Believing in yourself really works and abundance is really with everyone - learn to use your own power, you can get all the things you want in life. 

I kid you not! I purposely set my salary target to have 20K increment for year 2011 because T. Harv Eker said shoot for the stars. Today my mgr said instead of 4.5% increment - i got  more. It hit my 20K increment for year 2011! I just want you to know, you design your life, your destiny is on your hand, claim back your personal power. All of us should be living like heaven on earth - we should help each other when we need each other - Humans has ups and downs, I'm ready for reach out - I hope i can help people who was like me, blinded for the past 3 years. May abundance be with everyone :) God Bless

4th Birthday

It's amazing how andrea have grown. I feel a sense of achievement, seeing my girl grown so much from a baby till she is now semi-independent. By 5 years old, she will be needing mummy or daddy less - as per child development milestone. I need to recondition myself of this change, so that i won't feel depress or keep thinking of the past - how I used to hold her in my arms or how she used to listen to me or she always find time to make me happy. All these are my treasured moment, kids grow up so quickly and I shall look forward to other treasured moment instead of living in the past :)

I took half day off, sent andrea to school and pickup cupcakes from wondermilk. Then rushed to Daiso, hoping to get candle "Number 4", saw the number candles in Daiso 1 Utama but do not have number 4. No luck! Headed back to the school - reach at 10.30am. Teacher got me an ugly tray - it cannot fit all 72 cupcakes somemore, sigh ... Initially I thought of putting it on the table, but the teachers thinks tray will be more convenient when distribute. No choice - have to listen to people who own the place. 


At night we went to Fukuya, the only place we like - with private room. Just Heavenly make us Melody - Sanrio cake. Andrea has many present. School gave her a present (fridge magnet) & her friend jaime draw her some picture for andrea's birthday, so sweet of her. I bought her Melissa & Doug Band-in-a-box and play pretend clothes - police, vet and nurse (that's all they have). Daddy bought her Ikea kitchen set. Kim bought her princess set, Pei bought her peter rabbit book, mum&dad bought her make up set. I hope she enjoy her birthday!

Melissa & Doug

ELC [Early Learning Centre] have been my favorite educational toys, I still remember buying lots of it since andrea was born - usually bought it from ThinkToys and just 1 year ago mothercare carries it. we love the material and quality - most importantly my kids love it. Andrea is 4yr old, and can you imagine how many ELC stuff sitting in our house now? Over 4 years we have almost 20-30% of the store items in our house now. 

I'm so happy that Melissa & Doug has made its way to KL. I saw it from mothercare bangsar & also ThinkToys. It has more variety for me now to buy new stuff for benjamin. Recently I've bought:

1. Abacus - Prefer this over the Ikea's one 

2. Band-in-a-box - movie like high 5 and pocoyo has these instrument, andrea & ben loves it. Consist of Tambourine, cymbals, maracas, clacker, tone blocks and a triangle

3. Puzzle - cannot find in the website [many shapes to be inserted into 10 different pictures]

Quality wise - it's comparable to ELC. Will shop more the next time when Thinktoys / mothercare's having sale :)

Inside-Out Healing

Inside-Out Healing by Richard Moss - Transforming your life through the Power of Presence

Summary for my own use:

1. A big part of the challenge is that this particular aspect of healing is a journey you must take alone. It is in the nature of the abysmal feelings that the passage through them is always a solitary one. You are alone with these feelings in your hospital bed, or as you learn to live with a disability. You are alone with them during a divorce or in the dark hours of financial setbacks. They are yours in the solitary depths of grief. [pg.168]
 

2. Extreme pain can be so powerful that it wants to suck you in like a black hole, but if you do not amplify your suffering with stories-and instead let your whole being be a prayer for the lessening of suffering everywhere-your pain has become something more than just yourself. Life naturally brings us physical pain and sometimes extreme pain in the course of illness, injury or normal event such as giving birth. You can never know whether shifting your focus from your own suffering to the alleviation of suffering everywhere will open you to the grace of peace and increased well-being. But this is not about success or some victory for your ego; it is about how pain can teach you to become humble and generous. [pg. 177]

3. Surrender to change is always a leap of faith. For something new to enter your life, you have to let go of the past and join your immediate experience right now. The key is less in what you do than how connected you are in yourself as you do it. In life there is no predetermined path you should or have to walk; you lay down the path by how you take each step. This is one of life great truths. [pg.205]

Prior reading this book, pei already brief me on my self-defense mode. I'm very glad that I've picked up this book, it talks about self-defense behavior in detail and how human behaves - we human usually aren't aware of these, hence brings unhappiness. It talks about death, do not fear but prepare for your death. i.e how you want to die. It talks about expressing emotions thru writing poem, listening to your own voice, drawing etc. Three keys to higher Energy: 

a) Spontaneous creativity - acting in accordance with your natural feeling without premeditation. It is "letting go and letting flow" in anyway that is in harmony with your disposition and uses your natural talents

b) Unself-conscious and wholehearted participation - whatever you do, you do it without holding back' you are totally engaged, fully present, completely authentic. 

c) Grace - grace isn't something you do, but something that may unexpectedly join you and carry you beyond yourself once you make your own effort.

Andrea Home Practice

I have not written about our shichida home practice before! I didn't do much, that's why :p After 3 years with shichida, I must at least write something. I've bought alot of stuff from shichida, below are the latest material we are using. Others are just sitting in the cupboard for ben's use - like linking memory set 1, 2 & 3, Japanese CD songs.

I've written The IQ Genius 1 Block previously, this is the only material that i feel most satisfied with. Seeing the OUTPUT! haha .. Andrea completed this 2 weeks after I've written the IQ Genius 1 Block post.

The IQ Genius 1 Block

Completed!!

The IQ Genius 2. Not as challenging as IQ Genius 1

Super Challenging. Andrea have not like it yet

Maths is difficult, because I've not found the correct method to teach andrea. Shichida have been teaching the addition song since 1 year old. I've bought the addition CD from shichida, have been playing (not very consistent thou), but andrea still not picking up. Have been working hard to teach andrea using the basic as per shichida method, see some improvement but have somehow lazy again because andrea prefer her violin more now. I've this random dots card, Organize dots and Variety dots. Very handy to me. The blue paper is for me to see & the green rubber is for my thumb.

Assist me in Addition

Shichida homework.These are the few pages - usually no problem completing it. Only the maths parts have some problem. Will work on it. Addition are like multiplication - force it into the head. haha... it really takes time for little kids at age 4! I also unhappy to see her count with her fingers! That's too slow and so not shichida style!

Schubert Trout Piano Quintet

This is the 1st Concert that andrea have ever been. Dr. Ng is the Head of String of Bently Music now. We were very fortunate to be Dr. Ng's student because, MPO will not accept children below 8 years old into the concert hall. Throughout the 1 and half hours, andrea did not fuss, she did wiggle a little but she is very well behaved. I guess, she enjoy the concert very much too! 

My self, I love classical music and musical play, especially someone played infront of me. Looking at their full expression towards music, makes me relax and relieve my emotional blockage. I have full admiration with people who came this far and have so much achievement in their life, all the teachers in bently have been with the Philharmonic Orchestra. 

Jessica Lim - Violin

Andy Ng - Viola

Alison Lim - Cello

Mohd Azizi - Doublebass

Shuenda Wong - Piano

I do not have high expectation of andrea to be the next player in Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. I want her to be able to express her emotions (+ve or -ve) thru music, to be a well balance person in order to achieve more in her life. 

Many studies says that, a person who knows music is more intelligent. Actually thru Richard Moss book, we can express our emotion thru music, singing (listening your own voice), drawing (it is common for children to draw as one of emotional expression method), etc. What they define as more intelligent to me is, thru emotional expression method it will bring peace within these people and hence more focus and successful in their life. This is my own expression. 

Money Luck!

I was told that I have another 4.5% salary increment starting June, well not alot lah, but better than none right :) Money grows in april and now June another small growth, when it will grow until I'm a multi-millionaire? Things seems to be better now, not because luck changes, because I've changed alot internally. Hubby and I were counting our expenses, it's scary - I just hope money will continue to grow and exceed our expenses by 100%. Will it realized? I'm sure it will, it depends on how much effort and awareness we have towards it. Opportunity drop from the sky, hence we need to be on the look out and work on it. May abundance be with everyone. 

Child Discipline

I'm having menstrual now, hence get emo very easily. Today was having lunch with a colleague, she talked about her sister's son being rude & the other colleague have been telling me that her sis-in law daughter also irritates her alot. I don't know where the anger comes from, i just shut her off by saying, there are a few of my friends likes to complain about their own children, the true story is the parents taught them all the behavior that they didn't like without their own awareness. The kids did not learn it else where, it's the parents who overlook on their own behavior and attitude in bringing up their child.

I used to complain that ben makes me crazy by not eating properly - the true story is i had gone insane back then [not because of ben]. There's really no one to blame when your child gone off track, it's you who made them this way. I confess that I'm not a 100% good model for my kids but I will not let things gone too off track, as human I do have the laziness in me sometimes. I know I shall not get provoked by what have been shared with me, but because my hormone is imbalance now, I shall say what's on my mind. 

There are plenty of ways to teach your kids, there is no right or wrong. My method is not more superior than yours because every child needs different teaching method and discipline. There are also plenty of enrichment course outside, what I've chosen is not the most superior one in the market. There is really no need to compare and tell me how lucky my kids are. Please trust your own instinct, care enough for your kids - listen to them, you will find the most suitable school/classes/whatever for their needs.

Wisdom is available to everyone, but it cannot be listened to until you stop polluting yourself with stories that cloud your ability to dive deep within yourself - Richard Moss

Cupcakes for the School

Andrea's Birthday is just next week! I've not started planning!!! Not that I'm going to throw a party for her, but simple things like cake - I've not thought about it .... So many things happening in June! Today i pick andrea up from school, I told myself that I need a parking space (I know that place is always full and the cars always park at the road side!!) when I arrived at the shop. I drove very slowly when on that street to the shop, very LUCKY that 1 car just drove out from one of the parking - I was SooOOooo excited because it's just 2 shops away from the cupcake shop! 

Andrea and I quickly jump down from the car, buy parking ticket and headed to Wondermilk. I was busy flipping thru the catalog and suggest andrea to pick the cheapest cupcake available, BUT she insisted on the expensive ones. Anyway, we have settled with the cheapest (RM50) and most expensive (RM70) per box. Total RM120 for 72 mini cupcakes. Both is andrea's choice, I hope she remembers what she has chosen. When I was making payment, one of the staff is kind enough to offer andrea a free mini cupcake - she is very happy and kept telling me the cupcake is really nice! I hope she will enjoy her cupcake on her birthday at school. Last year we bought a big cake, however I think kids love cupcakes more! and less messy :)

Waiting for teacher Yan's reply on the total number of student they have. Need to prepare gift for the 4 year old.

SV - 12Jun11

Almost 8 months of learning violin, I would say andrea truly enjoys it. She can now play 4 pieces of suzuki and only left 10 pieces of encore book (dr.ng said we will be finishing encore book by end of june!). How fast is that? 8 full months we finish one of the violin beginner book! 

Today they did the solo performance. Encore new songs. Some games. -end- Now the class left only andrea and victor. I guess others cannot cope with the fast pace because the parents did not spend enough time with the kids. We may need to change from group to private class now (not enough student). I do not know If andrea will still enjoy as much in private class in July. Will see how it goes. Now they are practicing 2 songs for Children show case at Bently on 31st July.

Suzuki Violin just like Shichida method. The parents have to be involved, if not the kids progression will be VERY slow. Sometimes I have the energy to practice with andrea, sometimes I would just want to be lazy. I could really see the effort I've put in, the results is amazing and of course very proud of myself. Playing the Suzuki pieces is not easy - First piece consist of twinkle 5 variation, it took us months (3 months i think) to master all 5 variation to complete the 1st suzuki piece. The following songs were beautiful, andrea sang it 1st then play on the violin, it took us about 1 week to memorize and play the song. However, more practice is needed to get perfect pitch. Andrea is very patient in adjusting her fingers to get the perfect tone. This week I will kick my lazy bum, because i did not teach andrea any new suzuki piece last week! 

Last week, we did the theory part. Taught andrea how to write Treble and Bass clefs. I don't know if it's too tough for her, I'm having a hard time. Secondly, andrea is able to recite the 8 notes - ABCDEFGA (CDEFGABC for piano). I'm not sure which is "Do' for violin, Dr. Ng said it depends on the song. Well ... I've adopt A as "Do" for Andrea because Suzuki songs always start with A string. Andrea's turning 4 next Tuesday! I'm very proud of myself :)

What is Spiritual Path

Clearing up my desktop and saw this little note on my notepad: -

1. The spiritual path is really not about trying to get anyplace. It is just reawakening to who you are. Another way to think of it is that we are not leaving on a journey but returning to where we started.
2. The second step along the way is the practice of being your self in daily life
3. The spiritual path is like a person who came to him asking his help in finding a necklace she lost forty years before, he asked:"what's that you are wearing around your neck?" the women suddenly realized that she had been wearing the necklace all along. Well, that is how the spiritual path is. we don't have to find GOD; we already are God and have been all the time

- extracted from somewhere on the net -

I'm excluded

I was VERY upset yesterday when my functional told me that I'm excluded for the proactive review in china. It's not because I missed the chance to go china for free but it's because everyone in GMU goes there and I'm being left behind because i was the most experienced one and they think i do not need to have this experience. He told me they have travel restriction and so on, well whatever. I was upset yesterday over sametime, this morning he sent me an email attached the ibm.com global BC email to say trying to push the travel for me, I have tears in my eyes again, i told myself I will be sad only for one time (which was yesterday), however I have tears in my eyes again this morning.

I'm practicing to live at the presence moment, I'm now reading "Inside-out Healing" by Richard Moss. I understand that the ego wants to make us feel special, being left behind is not special at all, hence I will either feel angry (trying to gain my special attention back) or feel upset (because i don't have control over having my special attention back). Being able to live at the present moment is ideal, hence understanding why we are feeling how we are feeling, helps to accelerate the healing process inside ourselves. If you can't, look around you - observe how other people is moving, curtain moving, birds flying, car moving etc They are all at present moment - no one is attacking you, don't let your thoughts attack you. Concentrate on your goals and dream, don't let trivial stuff happening in your life ruin your future. I can do it, so can you :)

Instruction Tone

I've noticed andrea for a while now, when she talks to the maid, she will have unfriendly and dictation tone. Yesterday she ask the maid to get her water, the maid get her warm water and she said why gave her warm water, she wants it cold. Andrea will scold the maid when the maid give her things that's not what she wants. I couldn't take it any longer, I told andrea you cannot talk like that to the maid, it's so rude, tell me who acts like that. I know the answer will me "mummy", however i wait for her to tell me. She smiles at me and point at my nose "YOU!". hahaha... OK, I then told her that - I know I've been rude last time but that is not the way we should talk to other people, I say sorry to you, can you forgive me? She said yes. Then I told her to apologize to the maid and she did. 

All these happen because the maid need more time to adjust and I expect instant pickup from her. Even until today she still do little things wrong or I feel she did not use her common sense. For whatever reason, I've stop picking on her for 2 months now. I'm so surprised for the 1st 4 months, andrea has pickup all my bad attitude towards the maid and she is now acting it out. I regret, I hope andrea will talk nicely to the maid from now on, I have full awareness when talking to the maid now. I still pray that I can have a good maid that will do everything to my expectation. This one is still lacking passion in her work as a housemaid.

School Holiday Getaway

It’s school holiday again! Since andrea kept telling me her friend norelle went strawberry picking, I've decided to bring her to cameron to pick her own strawberry too. As we are a big fan of YTL resort, I’ve decided to book Cameron Highland Resort – hoping to have excellent service and also excellent food. We book the trip on Monday and traveling on Thursday, everything went smoothly

We arrived at Cameron Highland Resort at 4.30pm. Requested for room upgrade but was being turn down, was upset because I have a feeling that Austin doesn’t want to give it us. He told me the suits are full. During our Dinner, next day breakfast and lunch – I don’t think it has more than 10 rooms occupied (looking at the crowd at the restaurant), whereas the resort has 54 rooms in total. The car park is empty too. Anyway, I do not have affinity with this resort because beside the excellent food, I do not have other good memories with it. I always have to call 2 times to get my tooth brush, comb, baby cot and cleaning of the room. I will not visit to this Resort again.

First day – check in – feed the fishes – dinner – sleep. Second day – Breakfast – EQ Strawberry farm – other flower & strawberry farm – lunch – shower – nap in the room – tea time – feed the fishes – children’s play room – dinner – sleep. Third day – Breakfast – EQ Strawberry farm – check out – children’s play room – lunch – back to KL

Overall it’s a good trip. Andrea loves to pick strawberry. Ben loves to EAT strawberry. I love the resort minus service from the restaurant and front desk. Weekends were crazily packed, it’s not worth the traveling time.

 

YTL Cameron Highland Resort

Cameron Highland Resort

It’s our first time here at YTL Cameron Highland Resort. We would expect excellent service and food because we were very happy with YTL PLR, which we have been there 3 times! Having the beach for 3 times, we have now considered hills and mountain for the 1^st time.  The traffic was very smooth on Thursday, despite the winding road, we arrived at CHR without much trouble. Oh, we nearly missed the Resort because the sign were too small. It’s really beautiful, the Resort facing a golf course and our balcony is overlooking the golf course too :)

CHR served excellent food, I’m very happy to see my kids eat on their own without me reminding them to chew and swallow. We took the 3D2N package with all meals inclusive, hence it’s a really good bargain. The resort is very well maintained and clean. The room is spacious, but the toilet a little small, however I like the towel basket in the bathroom for my kids to stand while washing their hands. We love the weather too, It’s like going back to the UK. I miss those days in the UK!

The staff service was mediocre at CHR. I have to call 2 times to get my things, i.e comb & tooth brush, baby cot and room cleaning (they didn’t come until 3.30pm, I thought they don’t clean the room – front desk said their cleaning time is from 11am-5pm). I really hate messy room :( Here are some pictures at the Resort.

YTL Cameron Highland Resort

Breakfast

Lunch

Afternoon Tea @ Jim Thompson Tea Room

I'm thankful they have this :)

19 months old

I have been waiting for ben to call "mummy". He has finally manage to say it out once in a blue moon :) His Vocab has improved alot here are those new words that i remembered: Hot, Table (ble), up, milk milk, shoe, out, open (pen), bed, apple (ple), cat, ten, hug, nite nite, i love you (you), bear, vitamin C (C), walk walk, able to call everyone in the house including the maid

Loves to play pretend - cooking, house cleaning and fix the bed. Can jump, roll, summersault and dance. He is a happy boy. Will throw tantrum when things doesn't get his way. Loves andrea very much. Loves to bully andrea at the same time. Is very cheeky and messy eater.