For I realized, i only can write my blog when I'm in the office or the house is really really quiet like at 5am. I don't know how writers do, but I feel it's the same, you need to be 'connected' to write something deep inside yourself. Well, I have a reason to wake up early :)
Time passed by very quickly, 3 of my friend ask how is my SAHM life on 4 apr 2012. I told them it's just 3 days, I don't feel anything really. Maybe my kids are independent enough, Maybe I still have my maid, Maybe I'm being ignorant. haha ... I've started to do something meaningful on the 3rd day - buy groceries, create new financial spreadsheets, settled maid food and pocket money while I'm away for holiday, tidy up all the receipts and read some lotus sutra pages online.
1st day trying to settled in, however was emotionally attacked by ex-colleague of mine. Settled the emotion on the 2nd day. Trying to pack stuff to Tokyo but realized it's 6 days long, and IF i pack, there wouldn't be any jeans/ sleep suit left for the remaining days. Postpone it to Saturday, but will try to pack things that i can starting today. Today is the 4th day, planned to do some 'cold knocking' but early morning I struggle to decide what I want to do today, as today is a long long day, will only pick andrea up at 2.30pm. I have this problem now as i dunno how to fill my days efficiently. My car can drive 600km, however in 3 days I need to pump petrol again, as i need to go damansara thru & flo 2 times a day, total up already 160KM one day! tired is one thing, money is another thing. Since hubby didn't make noise I guess I don't have to think too much about money for now. However, need a long term plan.
I'm still floaty, have been chanting and meditating for 3 days now. I hope to find peace in within which I lack. Every little things people said especially hubby will provoke me big time. Oh my ... I don't know when will this pass. My menstrual stop since 4 months ago, I don't know what's wrong, I hope i will not need to go for surgery or something as i feel i have burden hubby enough. why o why my body is still not perfect. hm .... If you think being unhappy is ok, please think twice as you may end up like me :(
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