toxic shame

I got this "toxic shame" key word during my SRT clearing and was wondering if it's true. I know i shall not doubt what KW had done for me, hence i try to forget about seeing this word. I even ask KW what does it mean? Means i have very very bad shame, it's says toxic! KW just responded yeah, toxic shame. I kept quiet because i thought to myself, maybe the highself got it wrong this time. 

You know what, a colleague of mine came to my desk and took my book (the millionaire mind) - look at the title and comment, oh you want to become a millionaire ar. Inside myself i want to tell her that it's about subconscious mind, title tell you about money but it can fix any area of your life - I didn't have a chance to speak. I don't know why these words did not come out from my mouth, then she continue - you should listen to this song "i want to become a billionaire" it's better than millionaire. 1stly, i'm glad that the words stuck at my throat that i did not explain about my intention to read this book (as above), 2ndly i feel TOXIC shame because i feel that she is making fun of me! I kept quiet all the way, in the end i said "I love that song too", then she left. I felt humiliated because i have not gotten a million yet and i fear that i cannot achieve it, hence i feel shameful when she asked if im learning to become a millionaire - she even suggest that i listen to "i want to become a billionaire song" which may bring me greater pool of money. I KNOW there is nothing to be ashamed of, but i felt it! I don't know WHY!

Another time i felt toxically shameful when my kung fu friends asked where I'm studying. I told them but none knows my school, they just ask where it is and turn away from me. I feel darn shameful - maybe that has entered my sub-conscious mind! I must change! I must be proud of whatever book im reading and i do not need to gain approval from anyone for reading that book! Same goes to every action I took! I'm Powerful, centered & loving in this area! toxic shame - you are now dissolves - replaced by JOY :)