AH Diary 1 (Dec)

To maintain at the highest state all the time is extremely difficult for me. Bad things happening after one another! Why is it so hard?

All started with the negative vibes this web leader emitted last week, i was in such a bad mood because she cannot stop making me an idiot. My Manager then wanted this to stop and ask me to find another solution, FINE! I was in an extremely bad mood because number 1, i was extremely underpay for the past 3 years and i missed my salary adjustment + increment because i was on LOA for 6 months. Moreover, i have so many shits to clean up because next year the GMU BC going to review my process! I feel so overwhelm by the amount of work i need to do yet so little pay, or shall i say stagnant pay. I know i cannot complain because family comes 1st and i shall endure this sick little pay i'm getting. I am very angry because all i have did to heal myself now has gone to waste because of work! I lose my temper because of work and i lose my patient because of work. I HATE WORK! 

I was so upset today that i went for a facial during work hour and i have a friend kind enough to bring me out for lunch - away from the office. I was so upset that nothing seems right - booked the hayatt hotel and the stupid lady takes so damn long to answer my email, until now no reply, called the stupid agency and told me that POLO contract just out and Thursday only submit to immigration and told me end of january only can get maid - What the HELL is going ON!? This Friday my Sister-In-Law is going to intrude my house for 3/4 nights. My KCO testing suppose to close beginning of december and my tester had another 4 more open testing which cannot be closed, i have to rush for her yet tomorrow is my official testing starts for all ASEAN countries! I am very upset because my manager still doesn't give me my band 7, she said if give now their budget allocation for 2010 have left a little only, if promote next year 2011 then got more budget then can increase more. HOW MANY PERCENT MORE?! Damn it... I REALLY HATE WORK. One more thing, my GMU going to held education session and peer review in Malaysia next year and i have to book hotel for them, book room and all that - like an admin! My Manager told me this year they all went to korea and i missed it! DOUBLE SHIT! All good things i miss it, what else i cannot miss! 

I don't know what to do. I will watch the DVD (you can heal your life by louise L Hay) again tonight and see if it helps. Really in deep shit.