Down Time

1 month ago, I felt I need to be at ease when hubby is not around. Hence I did my root canal (although I really didn't want to), hoping when he is away I won't feel pain and scold the kids too much due to irritation, I needed a peaceful environment when I'm alone with the kids. Alot of What if pops out, hence I solve the problem which I think might gave me problem. 

2 weeks down the road, my parents told me they are going to ipoh same date where hubby is not around. I felt so naked (no more protection), but I told myself, they have their own life and I should be independent. Leave my life to GOD and everything will turn out just fine. 

When comes nearer to the date where hubby is leaving (tomorrow), I had extreme discomfort. I suppressed it. I'm very happy that I did not force hubby not to go. The heart of letting go and transforming is taking into place I can feel. For better or for worse I do not know, I let it be. For I trust in GOD for my soul growth. 

I have always threaten hubby for a divorce, Yes I do really feel I needed one, but I always ended up don't know what to do. I drove out when in anger but I don't know where to go, I stop at road side then turn back less than 30min. I'm still a child needed protection very much even at present - i need to feel safe. My parents protected me so much which I felt really blessed, my husband helps me alot but he never takes care of my emotional wellbeing or he doesn't know how to handle it. I take it as my soul growth. 

I have thought to myself, didn't he knows I need someone there to make me feel comfort. My parents are not in and he is so far away for company holiday trip, what am I left with? Naked with 2 eggs to protect. I needed to send them to classes whole of saturday and the risk is high. What if car broke down, what if one of them is sick, what if accident, what if I am the one who has accident ... who should I call? These invisible stress are killing me but I know I must overcome it and surrender it to GOD. 

God told me, this is the 1st step for life transformation. Just like any other relationship I had before, circumstances transformed me, we leave the old behind and search for the truth. Thinking of having to leave the relationship saddens me, but if it is your time to Go/transform/Die, you have to do it. Divine Timing it is. I pray that I could be stronger. 

Melbourne 2013

Melbourne was suggested by hubby, as I do not know where else to go. I needed a clean place and also a place with good energy (ppl with respect, conscience and produce healthy food). We went tokyo 3 times and thought it's enough, so where is the next best destination? I have thought for a month and couldn't think of anywhere, when hubby suggested melbourne I was like, huh ... u think nice meh. No seven wonders, what is the REASON to be there? good energy? not that I know of. very clean? I'm not too sure as you know australia is flooded with 170 countries migrant, you think the ang mo culture still remains? arghh ... cannot think of a place to go, you decide la, i told hubby. He then bought tickets and asked me to arrange the rest. ARGH .. for another month only start action booking hotels and tours. 

Honestly, I only booked the hotel 3 weeks before to get the best rate for booking 21 days in advance, booked Grayline tour 4 days before I fly, paid online visa & bus ticket 1 week before we fly. Oh one thing so proud I bought the OVO circus ticket - Cirque de Soleil 1 month before we fly! haha .. that's the only thing excites me. 

So, this trip is not planned properly and I just let it 'flow'. We do whatever we want when we reach there. Surprisingly, there is so much help for tourist, info centre, free trams and tones of tourist booklet - all sorts of booklet and discount vouchers! amazing! Hence, on the 1st day we already know where to go by browsing one of the booklet. 

Day 1: Arrived Westin Melbourne at 10am. Had brunch at brunetti and go to Melbourne Aquarium. Flinders street station. Buy groceries at coles. Dinner hubby brought chinese take away as the kids are exhausted. Time difference = 3hrs. 

Day 2: Grayline tour. Feed parrot - puffing billy - churchill island - koala conservation center - seal rock - Philip island. Left hotel 7.30am, reached hotel 12.15am

Day 3: Breakfast at Star bucks. Buy groceries at Woolworths. Lunch at beths restaurant dockland. OVO circus at 4pm. Dinner at dragon boat, china town (not nice!)

Day 4: Victoria Market and Melbourne Zoo. Had brunch at Melbourne Zoo. Lunch at cumulus restaurant (nice!). Dinner at wagamama. Ice cream at brunetti. 

Day 5: Breakfast at brunetti. On and off we eat at brunetti cos they have nice pastry and it's just outside our hotel. there is a field for the children to run about just infront of brunetti and many birds. Heavenly!

If you ask me. It's a healing trip and I'm glad we went! Thank God for this wonderful trip. Benjamin doesn't want to go home. On the airplane he said he doesn't want to go back KL, he wants to go back to hotel. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  

Here is a wallaby for you :)

Happy Chinese New Year

This year we stayed in KL, as we will be going back to KK for my FIL 70s birthday. Thomas bought RM400 firecrackers for the kids to play, today already the 10th of CNY, I think we haven't played half of it. haha ... will watch thomas light it up this weekends! 

On the nian 30, we went back to ipoh with my parents. We left home at 5.30am and reached ipoh 8.30am. Not too bad the traffic, saw some status update on FB some took 5 hours. Gosh! Thank God. We had lunch at maternal grandparents place, good to see everyone again. I have this feeling of - soul group - coming back together, mingle around, healing each other. weird feelings I know .. and my tooth was in so much pain until i needed a panadol. I don't know whats happening but, things happens because it needed to. So ... all is well, as long as I'm no longer in pain. Dinner we had steam boat at paternal grandparents place. The kids having lots of fun collecting ang pau and eating CNY cookies and playing with their cousins in ipoh. I can see at this age, they really enjoy other children's company. Not so much "mummy, mummy, mummy" this round. 

We left ipoh 9pm and reached KL just past midnight. I hit the sack straight away, the cranky tooth drains all my energy, I left hubby to do the clean up and folding up the clothes. We had 2 days rest before flying off to melbourne. 

We took angpao from my parents on Nian Chu 2 morning. We took nice family photo at home. I'm very satisfied with it :) Here is a photo of our CNY hampers.