creativity is the Key

I have been clouded by negative thoughts about ben. I always ask myself, why he's such a tough boy? One day I woke up feeling sick of all these negative vibes. I turn around, asking myself, what if God gave me a sick baby? Which would I choose, which is more challenged? Can you keep your negative mouth shut once and for all? since that day, everything fall into place nicely. 

1. Universe had send andrea 1st, easy kid for me who I can mould her to be a genius in a split second. I learn about how amazing work can be done when a kid has concentration (not just looking at you, he could be doing other things but listening to you - this is for ben). Repetition is the key for a child to excel such as maths and learning to play a perfect pieces, violin this this case. I've yet to be creative to teach ben maths and playing violin. 

2. Universe had gave me shichida, then I explore tweedle wink and heguru. It shows me, andrea could do amazing work but ben (some area), I learnt that positive attitude and great passion for your child is the key. Every child can do it, if the mother is creative. Only shichida has breathing technique and energy ball. This is why we are sticking to it. Right brain is not the core, proper breathing, taking care of your physical body and meditation (energy ball) is the CORE. 

3. Universe expose me to energy healing work and essential oils. Bring me back to the CORE. I bring this, the most precious knowledge to my children. If you are at shichida parenting talk, you would have heard that some shichida kids heals.  I teach them to pray in order to feel safe. I teach them essential oils for healing - fever and coughing. (pls only use PURE essential oils, use only those edible oils, pls) I teach them to visualize for protection and healing. I thank shichida for introducing the CORE at such a young age. 

4. Universe had gave me hubby, supports me in my spiritual growth. Not in the sense of asking me to believe we are GOD but his attitude towards life. He is very giving and patient which I have zero of that. He holds positive vision all the time which I'm the total opposite. He is very caring which I choose when I want to be caring. Overall, there is so much opposite that I have to re-learn and having hubby is my greatest comfort, in order for me to go further in fixing myself. 

5. I believe universe or GOD does not punish us or throw challenge to us because they want to test us. The CORE of the universe which is LOVE. If you do not have enough of it, the Universe or GOD is giving you opportunity to re-learn so you could experience eternal happiness. All human need to do is to understand, LOVE is the key of life, open your heart to learn and feel what LOVE is (it is not what you think it is), be conscious and LOVE yourself. You will be living heaven on earth. 

I feel choke at times because I couldn't read books and experience life as fast as my boy is growing. To bring up my boy, it's totally out of my subconscious, he needs more love and more attention. He needs a more creative mother to bring the best out of him. He needs a patient mother. He needs a happy mother. Universe is giving me an opportunity to see and act thru that. All the resources i need is here with me. I thank God for that. All is well. 

worry for ben

Few days before I had a total break down due to ben, I cannot accept what has been offer to ben in this lifetime. I broke down and cry and demand GOD to re-look into his condition for a human life. I lost my mind and I felt terribly upset, how the world configured for ben. One day he is under my care, I do not let this happen and demand all angels and Gods of the light for help. I feel their presence and I felt at ease, even ben is still with slight fever (second day)

1. Ben is a tough child, I knew it from his bazi chart. We knew it from his daily behavior. Many times, I surrender because I don't know how to handle him, I'm fortunate enough to have hubby take over most of the time. Dr. suzuki said, tough child will achieve more things in life, a mother with lots of patient and love for the child is important. Nurturing a "different" child is part of my passion with help from others, of course. 

2. Looking for teacher that's full of love and experienced is not easy. I thought I have found. However things may not want to stay the way that I want them to. I broke down and cry because, my child does need a perfect environment for this growth for the 1st 6 years. I asked GOD if this is too difficult to accommodate my request? I'm ever ready to accept the challenge but why there is no helping hand available to bring up my full of potential son? I demand GOD to share my fortune with benjamin, because I'm his mother, he should get equal share of my fortune be it nobleman or wealth, as it will directly affect me if he does not meet anyone according to my will. In the end, I realized my ego is too big.

3. I spread 3 cards. The angels told me not to worry. The Cat, The Frog, The Eagle. I trust, I surrender and I let go. Benjamin has fever the next day, I look at the clock "11:11". I immediate felt at ease, I know angels and Masters of the Light is watching us. I decided to feed paracetamol every 4 hours. There is no stress but knowing some energy adjustment and life path have been relaid. It has been an emotional week but glad stuff has been re-wired. Thank You. 

4. For all that had happened. I should suppressed my ego 1st. secondly, pray for the best than having to worry like this, it's bad for the stomach and health. Thank you angels and masters for staying with me and showing signs that you are right there with me. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. Love n Light. 

sisterhood

Younger days, we fight alot, I even broke her glasses and cause her baby finger crooked. I do feel bad afterwards, but when fighting I guess I lost my consciousness. SP has this attitude of 'bullying punishment' star. She show anger by giving you black face and can become super ignorant, she also thinks that the whole world is against her when she feels upset. I've ignore her when I was younger because I have kim, so to ignore and get her out of my mind is pretty easy. 

After so many years, more than 20 years, this feeling of being ignored (not respected) came back. The story is long and I do not want to give energy to it. All in all, I cannot let go the feeling of being upset and wanted to stay away from her, how can I when I do not know her work schedule. One day I walked into their house not knowing she is in there, I 'pretend' and smile and quickly make my way home. I kind of good in pretending nowadays, especially after the incident where my mum decided to abandon me few years ago. I notice myself picking up pretending skills to show the front to my mum, I get confuse after that, I thought I have love for my mum for the things I have done for 2-3 years. Until that day she went for surgery, I couldn't chant for her, all I did was saying prayers ONLY. you know chanting needs total focus/ concentration for 10 min, I couldn't do it. I sit back quietly, highself ask me to tell myself "i love my mum". I repeat this phrase for 50-100 times?? Not sure, but until I feel the love and connection with her. The blocked love energy flowed again after that, I feel a different feeling when I see my mum in person. "pretending" brings me no where and it does not connect me to the core, and I confuse my true self too (and blocked the love energy in within). I notice I'm doing that now with SP. I broke down and cry infront of mum today. 

as usual mum will be mum. Things just said and done, cannot expect much. I just do not want to 'pretend' anymore, because I do not want to confuse myself again. I do not want to step into this hole again. I beg my mum to tell me not to come over when SP is there. SP hates my husband and so be it. She feels comfortable to show black face and prefer to live in a non-harmony environment, it's really her choice. I pray to god that I have some space to distance myself for negative beings as there are many more things in life to focus on than having to live in denial and unhappiness everyday. I pray to GOD this will be done and never have bad influence by my heavy karmic family bloodline again. Let me be strong and with alot of wisdom knowing what to do. So it is. Thank You!