Back to IBm about 3 weeks now. I have not grasp everything as fast that i could imagine and anticipated. everything is new to me, including my Business Controls role. The name could be the same but the process is totally different and i have to start from zero again!! Everyone has high expectation of me, because they know that i am a re-hire and i can start my engine on day 1! They're wrong, im a slow learner and i needed more time.
I have had nightmare almost everynight and feel so depress before going to work. when i am at work, i work like a dog and hoping 5pm will come very soon! i go home sharp everyday at 5pm unless there are classes or telecon. I don't know when this sadness and stress will go away, i hope it will go away soon, because i can feel that i am collapsing soon. There is no one in this world would understand me, including my husband. I felt so alone and lonely at work and at home.
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