completed 1st kumon set

Was having homework marathon with andrea and ben felt left out I think, he kept on wanting to do more than 2 pages daily. I was stressed to the max because both kids want my attention by wanting to do 'homework'! I'm glad it's Over and I want to be Lazy this Week!

Because of doing more than 2 pages daily, his sticker chart also filled up very quickly. I asked both of them if they want to combined their completed sticker chart, so they can buy 'bigger' things like swimming pool? The kids love to play water. They happily agreed and we went and buy an inflated pool from mothercare which was having 50% off during the weekend at subang parade. Here it is :) Having fun splashing!

Ben Suzuki Group class - 6apr13

Hi! We are back to suzuki lessons! lol ..  i couldn't believe it too. One day a friend of mine, asked me about musicpro, I said I went before and told her there is one new teacher that I wanted to try but have no mood to call yet. She called and decided to put her 2 kids in suzuki group class, I then asked her to include me, as benjamin does not have a teacher now. Thought group class would spark up his interest once more, hopefully.

The 2 kids were also benjamin's school friend. He looks forward to go. In the class. he follows what teacher asked to do (only 70%), hence I asked teacher if he thinks benjamin is ready. Teacher told me, he is OK and parents involvement is important, I shared with him my difficulty in handling ben, and asked if he has handle such young and difficult kids. He said Yes and gave me some pointers. I guess, I would want to try out for a change. I signed up!

Back at home, I asked benjamin to practise. As usual group class teaching are slower but i feel the pace is just right for ben. I asked him to do: 1. rest position 2. Play position 3. Clap var A. He does it all at home!! I'm happy :) I'm hoping to plant the music seeds in him. Hubby said every morning benjamin listen to suzuki music without fail on the way to school, hence I truly hope he would pick up music. It's healing to the soul!

Thank God for bringing this experience to ben!

Homework Marathon

I was sweating, catching up what andrea missed for year 2 term 1 and 2. Teachers gave me all the workbooks that she needs to catch up, looking at it, makes me wanna puke. Seriously I thought I need more than a month to finish! Prior to that, she only needs to do kumon maths 80-100 question (abt 5min), Kumon word problem (abt 10min). She do extra homework not more than 30 min a day last time. I pray so hard she would not make a fuss cos we have so much to catch up! 

1. arithmetic book4 - started with this, 4 pages a day (completed in 9 homework days). done

2. abacus - surprisingly so easy, took 3 homework days to complete. done

3. science - it took us 2 homework days to complete. done

4. non-fiction - There are 7 chapters to cover (on-going), did 2 chapters in 1 homework day

5. fiction - have not started

6. Mandarin and Malay to catch up

The very good thing is, andrea could cope with the maths (the english are quite tricky but once she got it, she got everything!) and writings (spelling is improving but still needs lots of practice). She has a good memory and photo-memory, I'm not too worried looking at her workbooks and teachers feedback last week was good. She said she can see that andrea is very stable in year 2, at first the teacher told me she hope andrea could catch up on her second day at year 2. I was worried shit. Thank God for the settlement and encouragement you sent to andrea. 

emotional wise, she is quite Ok i guess, she told me what happened in the class and school just like before (in year 1). Homework wise, she is very cooperative, I think we spend at least 2 hours a day to do what we need to do. I always tell myself, if this is the road she choose, she better make it easy for me. The mother seriously do not have much stamina when things don't turn out well. So far, we have covered the important bits, and I feel we are back on track and felt relieved a little :) 

Hard Rock Hotel Penang

It took us 5 hours to reach penang from KL. Reason? It's a ching ming weekend and they have some marathon happening that weekend at batu ferringhi beach too :( We do not know it before hand, hence we were stuck! Arrived at this hotel at 6.30pm, was shocked when entered the foyer, it was so NOISY and wet (the floor). I asked the person, is this place so noisy everyday? she said, only on school holidays. Luckily we bought the king lounge package, they sent us up to king lounge for check in. I felt better arriving at king lounge. 

We checked in to lil' rock suite, the kids love it. Entered the room and explored themselves. Jumping on the kids bed and looks very excited. On the other hand, i think this hotel is just average, the toilet is quite small but the beds are alright, we sleep well for the two nights. We ate at hard rock cafe for 2 times, reason is too lazy to jam out and jam back :( The food there was OK. 

We drove out at night to have supper, forgot the name, hubby got it from the internet. Before leaving penang we went to buy apam (our usual place), luckily that uncle is still there and he has good business that day, I ordered 20 and the person after me ordered 100 pieces! Uncle said he can go home after making that 100 pieces. haha .... 

The kids love the water park. Ben had so much fun in water shooting and water slide. We did easter hunt in the afternoon and got 2nd place. In the evening after dinner, we went for easter egg painting contest, we bring back the egg that we paint :) The kids also love the beach and picking up sea shells. Overall, the kids had fun and I had good rest :) great holiday!

Wearing Glasses

On her 1st week of 2C class, she told me that she cried cos teacher wrote too small on the board. My heart sanked. I thought I have cut the cord and it will not happened, although i know the chance is slim as everything happened - comes in 3s. Whatever ... We need to fix what needs to be fixed.

Hubby and I brought her to ISEC to see an optometrist. She diagnose her with left eye 75 short sighted with 50 astigmatism, right eye 150 short sighted. I felt guilty again and hate everything around me for a day or two. After the short term 2 break trip, I bring her to kimpodo to make glasses. It's so expensive, cost me RM650! However, she loves her glasses very much and show everyone she met. Optometrist said she only needs to wear it in the class, no need 24 hours. Anyway, she prefers to wear it 24 hours on 1st and second day, after that she told me the glasses is hurting. I hate every bits of it. I don't know why I need to deal with her handicap, how come I do not have a choice?!

I say prayer with her every night hoping things would change, but I know deep inside myself, saying prayer is just to make me feel better instead. whatever happens happens. another one, my boy I think would be MORE serious than andrea as he sticks to the IPAD more :( I don't know if I can handle it better than this time in the future! I know every human being needs to go thru some experience for them to grow/ self realization, everything is perfect for what it is even they are toddler or babies. How come I feel so attached? I have done my best and it is still happening, I know I should let go and let life unfold. All is well. Amen.

Ben 3 yrs 4mos

So many new developments!

1. Stop peeing in the diaper at night for consecutive 2 weeks now
2. No fussing going to school in the morning
3. Linking Memory set 1C for brain excellent - 42 sec!
4. Make alot of things on play doh
5. count 1-10 in malay
6. able to say 笔画 in chinese
7. loves to play pretend - ultraman, shark hotel, taking care of fake rabbit with andrea, talking to himself
8. write with left hand extensively (my plan to switch him to right hand failed)
9. Loves to dress up on his own (with tie and vest and long sleeves)
10. able to blow bubbles (ALOT) without mess

3 years 4 months old

A Year Jump

Andrea complained boring starting term2, hence I met up with the head of key stage one. Initially she refused to even consider giving me lots of excuses. I wrote a very long email and started reason with her of traditional and local international school. This school charges more expensive than local international school and alot of things does not include key stage 1 (yr 1 & yr2) like sports day. She reply was, let see how andrea does in term 2 exam and will let me know if she is eligible for a year jump. 

last week was genioart evaluation, although andrea development was very positive but I asked him if it's OK for a year jump. He told me that social emotion is important for children especially below 6, so i need to be very careful, it's best not to push children before 6. Wednesday, teacher said wanna see me on thursday which is today, I thought to myself, shall I just say no to them, but me being me, I went and see what they have to say. I'm ever so ready to tell them, lets forget about it, I've figure out something else. When I'm there, there is no turning back, teacher said she has gotten a string of approvals and their plan is to put her into yr2 next week, and yr3 in september. I was devastated. The teacher sounded not happy when I told her my intention not to proceed. 

I came back feeling really lost. I prayed. angels told me, be it you push it or it's god's will, just accept what is happening. It could be a learning or it could be a blessing. receive it with open heart. I sucked up and plan what to say to andrea, as her ego was quite bloated all the time, i need to becareful of what I say. 

I started telling andrea, do you know life is about changes? things change all the time. Like you go to summer academy and now at yr1 new school. How your violin teacher changed but you still learn. Your genioart teacher changed but you still enjoy the class? friends come and go, just like your hiphop friends. You will feel sad or uncomfortable sometimes, but you must know all these feelings will past. I count the months when she 1st entered yr1, see how many friends you made and how many become your best friend. This cycle will continue until you die. 

I want to tell you the school decision is to put you in yr2 next week. you know all the teachers right, and you have seen some of the student in yr2 right? do you think you can manage the change? she nod her head. Later on she asked alot of question but I manage to answer without telling her because you did well in the exam so you gonna be ahead of your classmate. I refrain that. I'm so glad she is OK for now. I hugged her and cried, I told her, when you are unhappy, you know daddy and mummy is always here for you, we will hug you when you feel sad. Talk to guardian angels because they can hear you and they always want you to be happy. I'm so proud of you. If your yr2 friend ask you why you come to my class, just tell them ms. Tan ask me to come. I hope I have equipped her well to face the emotional challenge. Kuan Yin, Please protect andrea. 

Last Lesson SV - 6mar13

Ben has progressed until variation A on open strings. He is also very good at music mind games, he enjoy this the most with teacher. He has a problem of not doing what teacher wants him to do especially playing the violin. Yesterday was a very harsh day for me, Teacher told me that he could not teach benjamin anymore because he knows his own capability and thinks he cannot handle benjamin. Me being me, feeling sudden sadness, I tried talking to teacher and telling him I know where to improve as a parent, I feel guilty. Ben does not listen to me, he always do things his way, if I force him nothing will turn out well, hence I left it completely to teacher since january. After 2 months, teacher cannot tahan already. I beg teacher to give me 2 more months, let me try my best .... 

Today, I step back and look at what's happening again. I see the success in andrea, how her suzuki was a successful one. I look at benjamin, how his one was a failure? practicing is one part but andrea practice was way more fun last time. teaching material is one thing, group lesson is the other thing, third is teacher as an example. I was feeling abit not right after ben rejecting to go to class, I feel maybe teacher does not play or does not has a violin in the class even to show/ play to benjamin. All benjamin has was the radio (cd). I was still living in denial when angel send me this message, because i told myself where else to find suzuki teacher yet so near my house. Stop bothering me I told them. I was struck and awaken by what the teacher told me yesterday, today I finally accept and will tell the teacher, maybe you are right, violin is not his thing. 

Parents as a Parents, I know I can manifest something else for benjamin, although I don't know what yet. He is teachable and is very bright, genioart teacher said he is at 4yrs old development and he is only 3 yrs 4months! I need to find something more suitable and interesting for him. Have to have faith that I will get something that benjamin enjoy and love it. For my children, SV will end here. I would try to recall what andrea has done and tried teaching him at home on my own pace. I still have the other book andrea was using which is very useful I feel. Masters and Guides, please shed me some light, My boy needs alot of healing. All is well. So it is. 

Root Canal

dooms day is here! Yeah, that's what I'm feeling prior to this surgery. I had prolonged tooth sensitivity early january, had the 1st checkup by endodontist Dr Tan on the 17th January 2013. He said that these pain will only be increased and it will not go away until I do something with it. He was the second doctor say "may the god bless you" when I refuse to do it immediately. The 1st doctor was Dr. Low at Jaya dental. I hate it, because they sounded they know what is gonna happen and dictate the worst will only happen to me. Moreover I was scared to death for the thought of removing the nerve of my teeth. I actually opt to remove the tooth but hubby and my dentist friend advise me not to extract unless it's necessary. 

I have long chat with my dentist friend who is now living in melbourne. She advise me on how to reduce the sensitivity. Advise me to do it early because abscess formed. Told me that stress is the culprit etc. She gave me alot of peace in mind. I ordered a dental holistic book - Cure Tooth Decay by Ramiel Nagel. I have not started reading but already done my Root Canal on the 21st Feb 2013. I know the dangerous toxic mercury and know having more damage on my tooth is not good, but I need to weigh which is more important. 1. I have tried oil pulling before I bought this book, but sensitivity remains. 2. Hubby going for company trip, I cannot risk the pain when I'm alone with the kids. Hence, I decided to do it, although i know it's bad for my health or I need to suffer later on in my life due to this root canal :( My second appointment on 14 mar and third on 8apr. 

I was so scared, I chant 3 days before the surgery. I hold nefertum in my hands when the dr. was doing my tooth. The dr was afraid to see that I'm so afraid, hence asked me to eat ponstan on top of the already injected anesthetic. All went well, today is the 14th day, thank god i'm still living in peace. This doctor was my childhood doctor, although my dad does not like him but i feel sense of comfort because I 'knew' him, from young, I guess. Maybe he does not say "god bless me" to me. I pray very hard - I'm very worried and scared when something goes wrong with my teeth, since young. I have phobia :( 

I'm reading the holistic dental book, good read. I guess, you need to be consistent to really heal your teeth. I have ordered the cod liver oil and will be arriving tomorrow I guess, it's at HK now. If not will get it next monday. It's for emergency case as it is so very expensive! I pray that more healthcare person would be awaken to holistic healing, please do not do harm to human body when it is not absolutely necessary. We are brothers and sisters, we are one. We come to you for consultation is not asking you for more drugs but to get comfort from you, hoping that you could help us. We are not here to give you more problem or trying to eat up all your time. What goes around comes around. End this vicious cycle. If the money is yours, it would come in many form other than drilling or surgery or medication (antibiotic, etc that harms our liver and immune system). 

I pray for a more loving earth, for the happiness of all humanity. So it is. 

Down Time

1 month ago, I felt I need to be at ease when hubby is not around. Hence I did my root canal (although I really didn't want to), hoping when he is away I won't feel pain and scold the kids too much due to irritation, I needed a peaceful environment when I'm alone with the kids. Alot of What if pops out, hence I solve the problem which I think might gave me problem. 

2 weeks down the road, my parents told me they are going to ipoh same date where hubby is not around. I felt so naked (no more protection), but I told myself, they have their own life and I should be independent. Leave my life to GOD and everything will turn out just fine. 

When comes nearer to the date where hubby is leaving (tomorrow), I had extreme discomfort. I suppressed it. I'm very happy that I did not force hubby not to go. The heart of letting go and transforming is taking into place I can feel. For better or for worse I do not know, I let it be. For I trust in GOD for my soul growth. 

I have always threaten hubby for a divorce, Yes I do really feel I needed one, but I always ended up don't know what to do. I drove out when in anger but I don't know where to go, I stop at road side then turn back less than 30min. I'm still a child needed protection very much even at present - i need to feel safe. My parents protected me so much which I felt really blessed, my husband helps me alot but he never takes care of my emotional wellbeing or he doesn't know how to handle it. I take it as my soul growth. 

I have thought to myself, didn't he knows I need someone there to make me feel comfort. My parents are not in and he is so far away for company holiday trip, what am I left with? Naked with 2 eggs to protect. I needed to send them to classes whole of saturday and the risk is high. What if car broke down, what if one of them is sick, what if accident, what if I am the one who has accident ... who should I call? These invisible stress are killing me but I know I must overcome it and surrender it to GOD. 

God told me, this is the 1st step for life transformation. Just like any other relationship I had before, circumstances transformed me, we leave the old behind and search for the truth. Thinking of having to leave the relationship saddens me, but if it is your time to Go/transform/Die, you have to do it. Divine Timing it is. I pray that I could be stronger. 

Melbourne 2013

Melbourne was suggested by hubby, as I do not know where else to go. I needed a clean place and also a place with good energy (ppl with respect, conscience and produce healthy food). We went tokyo 3 times and thought it's enough, so where is the next best destination? I have thought for a month and couldn't think of anywhere, when hubby suggested melbourne I was like, huh ... u think nice meh. No seven wonders, what is the REASON to be there? good energy? not that I know of. very clean? I'm not too sure as you know australia is flooded with 170 countries migrant, you think the ang mo culture still remains? arghh ... cannot think of a place to go, you decide la, i told hubby. He then bought tickets and asked me to arrange the rest. ARGH .. for another month only start action booking hotels and tours. 

Honestly, I only booked the hotel 3 weeks before to get the best rate for booking 21 days in advance, booked Grayline tour 4 days before I fly, paid online visa & bus ticket 1 week before we fly. Oh one thing so proud I bought the OVO circus ticket - Cirque de Soleil 1 month before we fly! haha .. that's the only thing excites me. 

So, this trip is not planned properly and I just let it 'flow'. We do whatever we want when we reach there. Surprisingly, there is so much help for tourist, info centre, free trams and tones of tourist booklet - all sorts of booklet and discount vouchers! amazing! Hence, on the 1st day we already know where to go by browsing one of the booklet. 

Day 1: Arrived Westin Melbourne at 10am. Had brunch at brunetti and go to Melbourne Aquarium. Flinders street station. Buy groceries at coles. Dinner hubby brought chinese take away as the kids are exhausted. Time difference = 3hrs. 

Day 2: Grayline tour. Feed parrot - puffing billy - churchill island - koala conservation center - seal rock - Philip island. Left hotel 7.30am, reached hotel 12.15am

Day 3: Breakfast at Star bucks. Buy groceries at Woolworths. Lunch at beths restaurant dockland. OVO circus at 4pm. Dinner at dragon boat, china town (not nice!)

Day 4: Victoria Market and Melbourne Zoo. Had brunch at Melbourne Zoo. Lunch at cumulus restaurant (nice!). Dinner at wagamama. Ice cream at brunetti. 

Day 5: Breakfast at brunetti. On and off we eat at brunetti cos they have nice pastry and it's just outside our hotel. there is a field for the children to run about just infront of brunetti and many birds. Heavenly!

If you ask me. It's a healing trip and I'm glad we went! Thank God for this wonderful trip. Benjamin doesn't want to go home. On the airplane he said he doesn't want to go back KL, he wants to go back to hotel. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  

Here is a wallaby for you :)

Happy Chinese New Year

This year we stayed in KL, as we will be going back to KK for my FIL 70s birthday. Thomas bought RM400 firecrackers for the kids to play, today already the 10th of CNY, I think we haven't played half of it. haha ... will watch thomas light it up this weekends! 

On the nian 30, we went back to ipoh with my parents. We left home at 5.30am and reached ipoh 8.30am. Not too bad the traffic, saw some status update on FB some took 5 hours. Gosh! Thank God. We had lunch at maternal grandparents place, good to see everyone again. I have this feeling of - soul group - coming back together, mingle around, healing each other. weird feelings I know .. and my tooth was in so much pain until i needed a panadol. I don't know whats happening but, things happens because it needed to. So ... all is well, as long as I'm no longer in pain. Dinner we had steam boat at paternal grandparents place. The kids having lots of fun collecting ang pau and eating CNY cookies and playing with their cousins in ipoh. I can see at this age, they really enjoy other children's company. Not so much "mummy, mummy, mummy" this round. 

We left ipoh 9pm and reached KL just past midnight. I hit the sack straight away, the cranky tooth drains all my energy, I left hubby to do the clean up and folding up the clothes. We had 2 days rest before flying off to melbourne. 

We took angpao from my parents on Nian Chu 2 morning. We took nice family photo at home. I'm very satisfied with it :) Here is a photo of our CNY hampers. 

January Outings

I've bought a groupon deal for jungle gym at bangsar shopping centre. We bought the kids there on one of the public holidays. Andrea says she prefer this over the one we always go - kids e world at The Gardens. This place is very compact and has many things that kids e world doesn't have. She demanded to come back here again next time. It's too crowded for my liking though but it's small enough for me to have an watchful eye over them without having to move around after them. So, yeah ... I would go back there since it's a win-win. 

Wrapping up january, we went to Kidzania. I thought it's time for benjamin to experience it. To my surprise, benjamin does really enjoy himself. He is brave enough o try many occupation on his own because andrea has no interest in Fire fighter, pilot and police. At 3 yrs 3 months old, I would say he is a brave boy and he understands instruction well. Good Job! 

Andrea did many things that she did not try the last round. She enjoy painting, making jewelry, becoming a dentist, flight attendant etc. Andrea insist to go back to the nursery - taking care of babies. Both of them take care babies together and I can see from outside they really enjoying it. Benjamin dance to the kidzania song - he's so cute, he can follow the steps :) 

The IQ Genius 1

Benjamin has done with The IQ Genius 1 very quickly, I'm so proud of him. I have ordered Nikitin Material set direct from Germany and is now waiting for it's arrival. I hope these blocks can take away the kids screen (ipad) time and practice on their intuition skills.

Benjamin enjoy daddy throw him in the air when he is able to solve one of the pattern. This encourages him to do more and gave him the drive to achieve his goal. Ben would shout "daddy! you See!!" then run himself to daddy and expect daddy to throw him up in the air. He's so cute and full of determination. I hope this attitude would stay with him for long until he achieve every dreams he has in this lifetime. 

3 years 3 months old

Happy New Year 2013

Have not started writing anything for 2013! It's already 18 feb 2013 :) Let me back date!

We have started the lovely year with beautiful fireworks by Sunway Group. The kids stayed up past mid night, it's unbelievable, never been up this late. The trick is? We bought alot of junk from petrol station and they munch on it while waiting for the fireworks. Good experience but seriously bad for health. Limit to once a year thing.

It's been a quiet New year for us, as we have a lot of activities in last december. We went to empire subang many times, to catch santa, the kids love the lollies santa gave. I think we went total 3 times for lollies and a few more times where santa was not there. The kids were well behaved, they agreed to throw lollies away when we get into the car. Kids also love pavillion christmas train and singing carol. Singing carol is so soothing for my soul. We put up our christmas tree with alot of help from the kids now, they are such big boy and girl.

We spent christmas at Shangri-la Hotel. Got upgraded to suite with double bed. It was heavenly! With 2 toddler, bigger beds at hotel is a blessing! Had really nice buffet dinner at zipangu. Japanese is andrea's favorite! 

We also went to Farm in the City end of December. We found benjamin's favourite character "Naughty Rock". He wants to sit on the naughty rock just like the dinosaur. Will come back for feeding the animals, the kids love it.

2013 Resolution - Be more relax with my kiddos. Have more trust in god, masters and guides. Used to have 10 measurable goals every year, must be the shift :) NMRK

Thank You 2012

Looking back at my 2011 Thank You post, i feel so much positive energy towards it. I feel that I should write a Thank You note for 2012 too :) 

1. Thank You Master and Guides for supporting me and re-assured me for all the decision that I've made. I have so much trust in you guys after boldly step into the flow of life, trusting myself more and seeing magic happens everyday. 

2. Thank You hubby for endless support emotionally and financially. Stepping into the unknown is really scary, but you have gave me security in every possible way. Luxury of having to be at home doing minimal housework (was having 2 part time maid, but decided to cancel 1, I can't be this lazy for 2013), Never complain helping out on housework, Willingly take over the kids when I feel lazy, bought house clothes (roxy in big batch-8pcs), tommy hilfiger in big batch-5pcs, so much clothes in SG, LV wallet, Tokyo trip,  5 star hotel stay in KK and KL. 

3. Thank You Kids for being with me. I know I have been grumpy and angry all the time. I'm so happy you still want to stick with me. lol ... although my boy sometimes said wanna sleep over at grandmas. However I know he still loves me more. I need to have a bigger heart, a heart filled with only love energy, if not, I know both of you would run away one day, someday when you are older. I working very hard on myself, thank you for this opportunity. I will try my best!

4. Thank you dad and mum foe being here with me when I needed you the most. Talking, baby sitting, company for breakfast/ lunch, hanging out, looking for food at your house when I've got nothing to eat at home. You guys gave me alot of comfort when I'm alone in the day time. Thank You dad for all the holidays you have spent on us, and thank you for the big fat angpau for the house you have sold. Thank You mum for your time to take care of my kids when I need to attend wedding dinner. Thank you sisters for being who you are. 

5. Thank You universe for giving me what I want in my life. Give me opportunity to serve the community in 2013. I'm ready. Bless be. 

Christmas Eve

How's everybody doing? 3 days intense energy integrating takes a troll on my physical body, I was burping so much and feeling intense energy moving around my body. Phew ... I also did some not so nice things, shouting at the kids and slap andrea on christmas eve. I've controlled so well for that 3 days (21,22,23) because I don't want to waste it!! Cannot believe that I lost control on the 4th day. Ah well, apply some lavender (cos her skin cracked) and panaway later on after she slept. Dear Jesus, pls heal her with your green energy. Thank You. 

I always feel I'm useless because I 'know' I have some powers but that always doesn't 'tell' me answer exactly to the point. I often think maybe I did not meditate enough or letting the energy to flow enough in order for me to have clear answers. For whatever it is, I allow and let it flow according to my needs and ability. Recently I've seen many of my manifestation magically happened, one day, I caught myself meditating for more physical stuff. I felt a need to stop and told myself, let there be love and peace. So it is. 

Phew ... overall kids holidays are great. I think I enjoy alot this time around. I notice telepathy also increased. Many things when I was thinking to tell hubby or the kids, they usually do it without me opening my mouth. I felt so easy to let go this time, I was unhappy during the last trip to ipoh with my parents, with hubby around listening to my pain (via whatssap), I quickly forgive and continue to enjoy my trip. I had new iphone5 from hubby. We are staying at shangrila for christmas. I spent so much money that I've lost count in december. My dad gave me 20K, I cried, in disbelief and blessed that the universe/ GOD still takes care of my need to spend. I told myself, my dad is the greatest gift the GOD has given me to fill my ego (human needs). My hubby is the greatest gift from GOD to light up my spiritual path. 

All happening in the month of december. I praise the lord for having many happy events and peace in the household. I know I have not been updating on my kids. You know what. The msg That I have received. 

1. Chant everyday.

2. Stop using FB.

3. Stay centered. 

Every thoughts and feelings are connected by the heart. No need to write or see, FEEL it. Stay connected with loved one and be positive. Write only when you feel like writing, as our soul is eternal so are the thoughts and memories. only people who are connected to you understand or feel it. Find peace and be Open. Bless be! 

Ben 3yrs 1 Month

Ben has passed 3 years old, there are so much development that I did not write it down. Let me recall as best as I can. 

1. Doesn't seems to enjoy school anymore. Cry everyday until last day of school. Signed up San Lorenzo at KK for benjamin, today 3rd day of school seems pretty OK. Will ask him to choose either New school or Old school after 6 days trial class. Yes, I believe he can make the best choice for himself at 3 yr old. 

2. Loves genioart to bits. Everyday will ask if today he has genioart. It's really good for me as well, as I can korek many info on how to manage ben emotionally. I also spend time talking to other mothers and going out shopping with hubby once a week alone. 

3. Loves to kick and shout at people. I have ignored this for the longest time, I kicked my butt to start 'talking' to him. 'Talking" seems very tedious, yet stupid as they will not give you the respond you wanted. I know communication is the key, I will try my best! I have also act out to him, play switching roles, where I'm ben and he's mummy. 

4. Loves ultraman. Daddy has been very furious about ben watching ultraman. We will stop this after 3 months. Boys will be boys. Please guide me how to raise a healthy boy.

5. Able to do linking memory set 2B. constant reading to him and listening to CD. He surprised me, I thought I have been talking to the wall or cow eating grass. 

6. Good at maze, numbers and puzzles. Can do really fast and writing very neatly. However, still uses left hand. Still encouraging to write with right hand. 

7. Ben is a caring and sensitive boy. He takes care of people around him and is very sweet most of the time. 

8. Able to cope with school lessons. Letterland and Finger counting is going well. 

9. Loves to make everybody laugh by repeating things that people laugh at earlier. Peppa Pig "hog", do silly face, repeat silly things he said, use articles to make people laugh.

10. Very independent. Nothing that ben needs our help. If we do, he will be crossed. 

Ben, mummy love you. I hope that you could grow up to be a decent man with good heart. I pray to God, to bring me people and places, for you to grow and experience life in a happy way. So it is. 

Ben School Issue

Ben has not been very happy at school. He started to cry after 1 month andrea left SA. Beside that, the school was also practicing concert, and he constantly tells me he doesn't like to dance (which i know is not true, he loves to dance so much at home). I start to feel really worry and asked if teacher scold or hit him, he said teacher pei yee scolded him. I then investigate, talking to class teacher felicita and teacher pei yee. What upset me the most, the told me they would ignore benjamin and he would be OK. Do they know that, ben is not OK? He refuse to go to school every morning! 

I was so sad because I thought SA is the best school I have found. Academic wise and emotionally wise as teacher yan would talk to every child when they are crying. After 3 years of operating, I couldn't believe my eyes and couldn't accept the change for the worse. Teacher yan was away the whole week due to his son admitted to hospital. The following week, i told him about teachers ignoring my son at school, he denied and said it's my choice to leave the school. (maybe i sounded harsh as well). In the middle of the night, I msg him on FB, asked him if he thinks ben should go to a school with different system, his replied was positive and asked me to stay and observe further. 

I have went to many kindy near KK. The only thing I'm looking at is academic, letterland or jolly phonics and finger counting. San lorenzo has letterland, the one and only kindy I've seen out of 5, this has it. I quickly signed up for trial and hoping for the best. I will let ben decide at the end of the day. As I don't know how to choose between, caring for his emotion 1st or making sure his academic progress is strong. I want both, but at this point of time, it seems so impossible. 

Teacher yan told me their school principal based on the 5 love language. He asked me to buy that book as it explains how people handles another person with different characteristic. I have ordered but not here yet. I told him, I like your school because of letterland and finger counting, but emotional needs always comes 1st. I feel so helpless, what is good for andrea, does not pass down to ben. What andrea is good at is not what ben is capable of doing. Although I'm having 2 children, I feel that I have SO much to learn and do for 2 totally different character kids, learnings, teaching, communicating, playing etc are all at opposite poles. 

In the end of the day. I could only pray for the best. What I'm receiving is what I've been asking intentionally or unintentionally. I've no complains but to improve and to strive further for my children's growth. So it is. 

creativity is the Key

I have been clouded by negative thoughts about ben. I always ask myself, why he's such a tough boy? One day I woke up feeling sick of all these negative vibes. I turn around, asking myself, what if God gave me a sick baby? Which would I choose, which is more challenged? Can you keep your negative mouth shut once and for all? since that day, everything fall into place nicely. 

1. Universe had send andrea 1st, easy kid for me who I can mould her to be a genius in a split second. I learn about how amazing work can be done when a kid has concentration (not just looking at you, he could be doing other things but listening to you - this is for ben). Repetition is the key for a child to excel such as maths and learning to play a perfect pieces, violin this this case. I've yet to be creative to teach ben maths and playing violin. 

2. Universe had gave me shichida, then I explore tweedle wink and heguru. It shows me, andrea could do amazing work but ben (some area), I learnt that positive attitude and great passion for your child is the key. Every child can do it, if the mother is creative. Only shichida has breathing technique and energy ball. This is why we are sticking to it. Right brain is not the core, proper breathing, taking care of your physical body and meditation (energy ball) is the CORE. 

3. Universe expose me to energy healing work and essential oils. Bring me back to the CORE. I bring this, the most precious knowledge to my children. If you are at shichida parenting talk, you would have heard that some shichida kids heals.  I teach them to pray in order to feel safe. I teach them essential oils for healing - fever and coughing. (pls only use PURE essential oils, use only those edible oils, pls) I teach them to visualize for protection and healing. I thank shichida for introducing the CORE at such a young age. 

4. Universe had gave me hubby, supports me in my spiritual growth. Not in the sense of asking me to believe we are GOD but his attitude towards life. He is very giving and patient which I have zero of that. He holds positive vision all the time which I'm the total opposite. He is very caring which I choose when I want to be caring. Overall, there is so much opposite that I have to re-learn and having hubby is my greatest comfort, in order for me to go further in fixing myself. 

5. I believe universe or GOD does not punish us or throw challenge to us because they want to test us. The CORE of the universe which is LOVE. If you do not have enough of it, the Universe or GOD is giving you opportunity to re-learn so you could experience eternal happiness. All human need to do is to understand, LOVE is the key of life, open your heart to learn and feel what LOVE is (it is not what you think it is), be conscious and LOVE yourself. You will be living heaven on earth. 

I feel choke at times because I couldn't read books and experience life as fast as my boy is growing. To bring up my boy, it's totally out of my subconscious, he needs more love and more attention. He needs a more creative mother to bring the best out of him. He needs a patient mother. He needs a happy mother. Universe is giving me an opportunity to see and act thru that. All the resources i need is here with me. I thank God for that. All is well.