Thank You 2012

Looking back at my 2011 Thank You post, i feel so much positive energy towards it. I feel that I should write a Thank You note for 2012 too :) 

1. Thank You Master and Guides for supporting me and re-assured me for all the decision that I've made. I have so much trust in you guys after boldly step into the flow of life, trusting myself more and seeing magic happens everyday. 

2. Thank You hubby for endless support emotionally and financially. Stepping into the unknown is really scary, but you have gave me security in every possible way. Luxury of having to be at home doing minimal housework (was having 2 part time maid, but decided to cancel 1, I can't be this lazy for 2013), Never complain helping out on housework, Willingly take over the kids when I feel lazy, bought house clothes (roxy in big batch-8pcs), tommy hilfiger in big batch-5pcs, so much clothes in SG, LV wallet, Tokyo trip,  5 star hotel stay in KK and KL. 

3. Thank You Kids for being with me. I know I have been grumpy and angry all the time. I'm so happy you still want to stick with me. lol ... although my boy sometimes said wanna sleep over at grandmas. However I know he still loves me more. I need to have a bigger heart, a heart filled with only love energy, if not, I know both of you would run away one day, someday when you are older. I working very hard on myself, thank you for this opportunity. I will try my best!

4. Thank you dad and mum foe being here with me when I needed you the most. Talking, baby sitting, company for breakfast/ lunch, hanging out, looking for food at your house when I've got nothing to eat at home. You guys gave me alot of comfort when I'm alone in the day time. Thank You dad for all the holidays you have spent on us, and thank you for the big fat angpau for the house you have sold. Thank You mum for your time to take care of my kids when I need to attend wedding dinner. Thank you sisters for being who you are. 

5. Thank You universe for giving me what I want in my life. Give me opportunity to serve the community in 2013. I'm ready. Bless be. 

Christmas Eve

How's everybody doing? 3 days intense energy integrating takes a troll on my physical body, I was burping so much and feeling intense energy moving around my body. Phew ... I also did some not so nice things, shouting at the kids and slap andrea on christmas eve. I've controlled so well for that 3 days (21,22,23) because I don't want to waste it!! Cannot believe that I lost control on the 4th day. Ah well, apply some lavender (cos her skin cracked) and panaway later on after she slept. Dear Jesus, pls heal her with your green energy. Thank You. 

I always feel I'm useless because I 'know' I have some powers but that always doesn't 'tell' me answer exactly to the point. I often think maybe I did not meditate enough or letting the energy to flow enough in order for me to have clear answers. For whatever it is, I allow and let it flow according to my needs and ability. Recently I've seen many of my manifestation magically happened, one day, I caught myself meditating for more physical stuff. I felt a need to stop and told myself, let there be love and peace. So it is. 

Phew ... overall kids holidays are great. I think I enjoy alot this time around. I notice telepathy also increased. Many things when I was thinking to tell hubby or the kids, they usually do it without me opening my mouth. I felt so easy to let go this time, I was unhappy during the last trip to ipoh with my parents, with hubby around listening to my pain (via whatssap), I quickly forgive and continue to enjoy my trip. I had new iphone5 from hubby. We are staying at shangrila for christmas. I spent so much money that I've lost count in december. My dad gave me 20K, I cried, in disbelief and blessed that the universe/ GOD still takes care of my need to spend. I told myself, my dad is the greatest gift the GOD has given me to fill my ego (human needs). My hubby is the greatest gift from GOD to light up my spiritual path. 

All happening in the month of december. I praise the lord for having many happy events and peace in the household. I know I have not been updating on my kids. You know what. The msg That I have received. 

1. Chant everyday.

2. Stop using FB.

3. Stay centered. 

Every thoughts and feelings are connected by the heart. No need to write or see, FEEL it. Stay connected with loved one and be positive. Write only when you feel like writing, as our soul is eternal so are the thoughts and memories. only people who are connected to you understand or feel it. Find peace and be Open. Bless be! 

Ben 3yrs 1 Month

Ben has passed 3 years old, there are so much development that I did not write it down. Let me recall as best as I can. 

1. Doesn't seems to enjoy school anymore. Cry everyday until last day of school. Signed up San Lorenzo at KK for benjamin, today 3rd day of school seems pretty OK. Will ask him to choose either New school or Old school after 6 days trial class. Yes, I believe he can make the best choice for himself at 3 yr old. 

2. Loves genioart to bits. Everyday will ask if today he has genioart. It's really good for me as well, as I can korek many info on how to manage ben emotionally. I also spend time talking to other mothers and going out shopping with hubby once a week alone. 

3. Loves to kick and shout at people. I have ignored this for the longest time, I kicked my butt to start 'talking' to him. 'Talking" seems very tedious, yet stupid as they will not give you the respond you wanted. I know communication is the key, I will try my best! I have also act out to him, play switching roles, where I'm ben and he's mummy. 

4. Loves ultraman. Daddy has been very furious about ben watching ultraman. We will stop this after 3 months. Boys will be boys. Please guide me how to raise a healthy boy.

5. Able to do linking memory set 2B. constant reading to him and listening to CD. He surprised me, I thought I have been talking to the wall or cow eating grass. 

6. Good at maze, numbers and puzzles. Can do really fast and writing very neatly. However, still uses left hand. Still encouraging to write with right hand. 

7. Ben is a caring and sensitive boy. He takes care of people around him and is very sweet most of the time. 

8. Able to cope with school lessons. Letterland and Finger counting is going well. 

9. Loves to make everybody laugh by repeating things that people laugh at earlier. Peppa Pig "hog", do silly face, repeat silly things he said, use articles to make people laugh.

10. Very independent. Nothing that ben needs our help. If we do, he will be crossed. 

Ben, mummy love you. I hope that you could grow up to be a decent man with good heart. I pray to God, to bring me people and places, for you to grow and experience life in a happy way. So it is. 

Ben School Issue

Ben has not been very happy at school. He started to cry after 1 month andrea left SA. Beside that, the school was also practicing concert, and he constantly tells me he doesn't like to dance (which i know is not true, he loves to dance so much at home). I start to feel really worry and asked if teacher scold or hit him, he said teacher pei yee scolded him. I then investigate, talking to class teacher felicita and teacher pei yee. What upset me the most, the told me they would ignore benjamin and he would be OK. Do they know that, ben is not OK? He refuse to go to school every morning! 

I was so sad because I thought SA is the best school I have found. Academic wise and emotionally wise as teacher yan would talk to every child when they are crying. After 3 years of operating, I couldn't believe my eyes and couldn't accept the change for the worse. Teacher yan was away the whole week due to his son admitted to hospital. The following week, i told him about teachers ignoring my son at school, he denied and said it's my choice to leave the school. (maybe i sounded harsh as well). In the middle of the night, I msg him on FB, asked him if he thinks ben should go to a school with different system, his replied was positive and asked me to stay and observe further. 

I have went to many kindy near KK. The only thing I'm looking at is academic, letterland or jolly phonics and finger counting. San lorenzo has letterland, the one and only kindy I've seen out of 5, this has it. I quickly signed up for trial and hoping for the best. I will let ben decide at the end of the day. As I don't know how to choose between, caring for his emotion 1st or making sure his academic progress is strong. I want both, but at this point of time, it seems so impossible. 

Teacher yan told me their school principal based on the 5 love language. He asked me to buy that book as it explains how people handles another person with different characteristic. I have ordered but not here yet. I told him, I like your school because of letterland and finger counting, but emotional needs always comes 1st. I feel so helpless, what is good for andrea, does not pass down to ben. What andrea is good at is not what ben is capable of doing. Although I'm having 2 children, I feel that I have SO much to learn and do for 2 totally different character kids, learnings, teaching, communicating, playing etc are all at opposite poles. 

In the end of the day. I could only pray for the best. What I'm receiving is what I've been asking intentionally or unintentionally. I've no complains but to improve and to strive further for my children's growth. So it is.